I may go the the mind body spirit fair
today, just to get out of the apartment for a while & the weather is
supposed to be nice, so i may go today and tomorrow. For a few hours.
I'll have to look at the buss schedules to see.
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Last night I lay down to relax a bit before going to sleep. Then I was suddenly in 2 places at once. The other me was being held very gently, in some sort of force. I was only able to move my head a bit side to side. At the time I was pretty angry as I recall. <I finally got through to you.> I was still trying to pull free or pop back to my body but could not do either. I somehow knew this was the oversoul I was part of. My back was to it so I had no idea what it looked like at this time. it remained calm the whole time. Then it said, <ok, since you don't want to listen I'll make you listen.> Then I found i couldn't think at all, odd experience. Some sort of force type thing was like in my mind where I could not thing, not even form the concepts or intent of a thought. and in case you question whether this really happened.> it said, then it send what felt like different types of energy to different parts of my physical body. <and now to increase it a bit.> it said adn I felt the energy that was in those areas seem to increase. <now to remove it before it causes any harm.> and i felt the different feeling energies with draw.
<I didn't send those messages, none of us did.> it said. <you don't need to work on anything, but if you want to work on something, working on your self image and confidence would be an excellent thing. Also since anger is not constructive at all I've fixed it so you'll find you can't be angry with me about this incident, even after the experience is over.> it said then lifted whatever it did to make it so i could not think. I (or the part of me that was wherever my oversoul had taken me was. still felt held by some sort force but it felt less firm and softer, if that makes sense.
finding I could think again I did try asking it a few questions but it didn't answer, "so, who sent those, some shadow aspect I need to work on integrating? some entity or parasite type connected to me, or some external being of some sort." though it didn't answer, <you need to sleep, the human body does need sleep.> and I was fully back in my body. During this I could feel the sensations from my body but was unable to have it do anything.
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I awoke and found I was in 2 places again. My human body was awake and I was also somewhere else. This time facing my oversoul. Don't recall exactly what it looked like. maybe partially an orca, or ??? not sure.
Though I did, for some reason, have a nipple in my mouth and I was an orca, not sure if I was a non anthro or an anthro orca, I think a non anthro orca. I rolled my eyes mentally saying to the oversoul, "i'm not a baby or an infant you know." For some reason some deep inner part of me wanted or needed whatever I could get from the nipple so with my eyes figuratively rolled in the back of my head I decided to just go with the experience, feeling silly doing it. I wrapped my tongue around the nipple in how I remember reading how infant and baby dolphins drink from their mother's mammary glands. Though I found the area around the nipple morphed to perfectly fit the inside of the opening of the mouth so I could do a more human style suckling. still feeling silly. I did ask oversoul again the last question I had asked before about who did send the messages. I could feel some sort of very very light fluid type stuff feel like it was going down my throat. So light it was almost like I could barely feel it.
<in a certain sense one could say you are sort of a sentient baby or very young child. In a certain sense.> it said with the impression of smiling. <here, let me help you with that.> it said and the nipple thing elongated and went down my throat, I could feel whatever the very very light fluid was spurt a few times then a steady flow started and continued till it felt like the orca body and human body were full.
"so why are you doing this? isn't this usually a thing the higher self or a guide does?"
<Certain...... circumstances required my special attention and in regards to you I decided to takek a direct hand in things, certain things at least.>
"what circumstance exactly?" <you don't need to be concerned about that. Nothing that directly effects you anymore.>
I didnt' really expect an answer, but I was surprised oversoul did answer the next question, though I only understood parts of it's answer.
"So why do I not need to do anything?" i ask, my intent meaning the awakening thing. <Well given the parameters of the mission....> it went on to a pretty complicated answering, with some mental images being used. Summarizing what I think I understand is I'm on some sort of fast track and with them doing it it is customized to me personally at the most efficent safe speed for the process.
"So why wait till just recently to start that, that was a lot of decades of not a lot happening." <certain.... circumstances.> it said. It then pulled the nipple out. <there, that is about as much of that as you can safely contain at this time.> I did feel full on whatever that stuff was, both bodies.
"What was that stuff anyway?" <What you may call.... light .... energy, sort of.> it said.
I felt it putting what felt like tentacles or something into my abdominal area and reaching for certain spots inside me.
"What are you putting into me this time?" <upgrades, and a bit of find tuning.> it said as I felt one of the tentacles or whatever doing something inside the abdominal area. then it felt like it used another tentacle to reach up to the 1st chakra, fill that commenting, <hmm, that one has low capacity.> then went up the spine filling each chakra in turn, not to max, felt like regular capacity. doing some comments like at the 3rd one, and the comments sounded like either comments to itself, or maybe an unseen person who maybe was taking notes. the 3rd one it said something like <needs a bit more work> the rest it filled with something that felt like a very light fluid, at the throat chakra felt like it filled it slightly then felt around the area for several seconds <this needs some special work and attention> then it did the rest including the one at the back of my head. Then I felt some sort of click inside my head.
"what about the kundalini, isn't that the channel it uses?" i asked, it felt like it was slowly withdrawing it's tentacle thing from my spine, and it paused at just below the throat level to what it felt like fill that whole channel from that point to the top of my head with that same fluid stuff. <I've temporarily set it to dormant.> it then pulled it the rest of the way out and I felt some sort of something, can't describe it. <there, it's set back to active.> I found I had a strong urge to share or have soul sex with the oversoul. No idea why, i wasn't thinking of that before, it just sorta popped up. <no time for that now, but later... sometime you'll see how seductive i can be.> it said then the experience ended.
I went to the white space buffer place to ask higher self some questions but it didn't answer to well. I asked it about who or what sent the messages and it basically said, certain circumstances required the oversoul's personal attention. I than asked, you can't answer due to orders? it did answer that.
<not order in the military sense, but orders yes.>
"will you promise to at least tell me one day, eventually?" it looked higher self was focused elsewhere for a moment. <Oversoul will be the one to tell you, at the appropriate time.>
"Full discloser and all that?" I asked and HS I guess contacted oversoul again.
<yes.> it paused a moment, <you don't know the honor when oversoul takes a personal interest in you. It really is an honor.> it said, i don't understand that or why hs said that. i think I thanked it then, if not I did later.
Odd things happened this morning. Not sure what to think of all these events, what do you folks think?
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Last night I lay down to relax a bit before going to sleep. Then I was suddenly in 2 places at once. The other me was being held very gently, in some sort of force. I was only able to move my head a bit side to side. At the time I was pretty angry as I recall. <I finally got through to you.> I was still trying to pull free or pop back to my body but could not do either. I somehow knew this was the oversoul I was part of. My back was to it so I had no idea what it looked like at this time. it remained calm the whole time. Then it said, <ok, since you don't want to listen I'll make you listen.> Then I found i couldn't think at all, odd experience. Some sort of force type thing was like in my mind where I could not thing, not even form the concepts or intent of a thought. and in case you question whether this really happened.> it said, then it send what felt like different types of energy to different parts of my physical body. <and now to increase it a bit.> it said adn I felt the energy that was in those areas seem to increase. <now to remove it before it causes any harm.> and i felt the different feeling energies with draw.
<I didn't send those messages, none of us did.> it said. <you don't need to work on anything, but if you want to work on something, working on your self image and confidence would be an excellent thing. Also since anger is not constructive at all I've fixed it so you'll find you can't be angry with me about this incident, even after the experience is over.> it said then lifted whatever it did to make it so i could not think. I (or the part of me that was wherever my oversoul had taken me was. still felt held by some sort force but it felt less firm and softer, if that makes sense.
finding I could think again I did try asking it a few questions but it didn't answer, "so, who sent those, some shadow aspect I need to work on integrating? some entity or parasite type connected to me, or some external being of some sort." though it didn't answer, <you need to sleep, the human body does need sleep.> and I was fully back in my body. During this I could feel the sensations from my body but was unable to have it do anything.
=======================
I awoke and found I was in 2 places again. My human body was awake and I was also somewhere else. This time facing my oversoul. Don't recall exactly what it looked like. maybe partially an orca, or ??? not sure.
Though I did, for some reason, have a nipple in my mouth and I was an orca, not sure if I was a non anthro or an anthro orca, I think a non anthro orca. I rolled my eyes mentally saying to the oversoul, "i'm not a baby or an infant you know." For some reason some deep inner part of me wanted or needed whatever I could get from the nipple so with my eyes figuratively rolled in the back of my head I decided to just go with the experience, feeling silly doing it. I wrapped my tongue around the nipple in how I remember reading how infant and baby dolphins drink from their mother's mammary glands. Though I found the area around the nipple morphed to perfectly fit the inside of the opening of the mouth so I could do a more human style suckling. still feeling silly. I did ask oversoul again the last question I had asked before about who did send the messages. I could feel some sort of very very light fluid type stuff feel like it was going down my throat. So light it was almost like I could barely feel it.
<in a certain sense one could say you are sort of a sentient baby or very young child. In a certain sense.> it said with the impression of smiling. <here, let me help you with that.> it said and the nipple thing elongated and went down my throat, I could feel whatever the very very light fluid was spurt a few times then a steady flow started and continued till it felt like the orca body and human body were full.
"so why are you doing this? isn't this usually a thing the higher self or a guide does?"
<Certain...... circumstances required my special attention and in regards to you I decided to takek a direct hand in things, certain things at least.>
"what circumstance exactly?" <you don't need to be concerned about that. Nothing that directly effects you anymore.>
I didnt' really expect an answer, but I was surprised oversoul did answer the next question, though I only understood parts of it's answer.
"So why do I not need to do anything?" i ask, my intent meaning the awakening thing. <Well given the parameters of the mission....> it went on to a pretty complicated answering, with some mental images being used. Summarizing what I think I understand is I'm on some sort of fast track and with them doing it it is customized to me personally at the most efficent safe speed for the process.
"So why wait till just recently to start that, that was a lot of decades of not a lot happening." <certain.... circumstances.> it said. It then pulled the nipple out. <there, that is about as much of that as you can safely contain at this time.> I did feel full on whatever that stuff was, both bodies.
"What was that stuff anyway?" <What you may call.... light .... energy, sort of.> it said.
I felt it putting what felt like tentacles or something into my abdominal area and reaching for certain spots inside me.
"What are you putting into me this time?" <upgrades, and a bit of find tuning.> it said as I felt one of the tentacles or whatever doing something inside the abdominal area. then it felt like it used another tentacle to reach up to the 1st chakra, fill that commenting, <hmm, that one has low capacity.> then went up the spine filling each chakra in turn, not to max, felt like regular capacity. doing some comments like at the 3rd one, and the comments sounded like either comments to itself, or maybe an unseen person who maybe was taking notes. the 3rd one it said something like <needs a bit more work> the rest it filled with something that felt like a very light fluid, at the throat chakra felt like it filled it slightly then felt around the area for several seconds <this needs some special work and attention> then it did the rest including the one at the back of my head. Then I felt some sort of click inside my head.
"what about the kundalini, isn't that the channel it uses?" i asked, it felt like it was slowly withdrawing it's tentacle thing from my spine, and it paused at just below the throat level to what it felt like fill that whole channel from that point to the top of my head with that same fluid stuff. <I've temporarily set it to dormant.> it then pulled it the rest of the way out and I felt some sort of something, can't describe it. <there, it's set back to active.> I found I had a strong urge to share or have soul sex with the oversoul. No idea why, i wasn't thinking of that before, it just sorta popped up. <no time for that now, but later... sometime you'll see how seductive i can be.> it said then the experience ended.
I went to the white space buffer place to ask higher self some questions but it didn't answer to well. I asked it about who or what sent the messages and it basically said, certain circumstances required the oversoul's personal attention. I than asked, you can't answer due to orders? it did answer that.
<not order in the military sense, but orders yes.>
"will you promise to at least tell me one day, eventually?" it looked higher self was focused elsewhere for a moment. <Oversoul will be the one to tell you, at the appropriate time.>
"Full discloser and all that?" I asked and HS I guess contacted oversoul again.
<yes.> it paused a moment, <you don't know the honor when oversoul takes a personal interest in you. It really is an honor.> it said, i don't understand that or why hs said that. i think I thanked it then, if not I did later.
Odd things happened this morning. Not sure what to think of all these events, what do you folks think?
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Going to the body mind spirit fair was a bust. The only ones there were vendors, folks waiting for their psychic readings and the readers. Guess the spiritual community here is so tiny that there is not much of a spiritual community here. No biggie. I've spent this long as a hermit, and I can sped the rest of my life as a hermit.
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had a short conversation with what I call oversoul, not sure of a better term. I am to it, a sort of aspect of an aspect. an active aspect of a separate aspect that was once an aspect of it and will one day be a separate aspect, who has an aspect that will one day choose to be separate as well. It is a member of the pod also. one of the most senior members. Though they all prefer all pod members to be equals. There is no real rank in the members of the pod. The soul I did split off of like I will one day do. So in a way I could be said to be one day a soul that will split off of one of the souls that split off of it.
Forgot to add in. I did ask it about if my perspective would change or not since I'm not sure if I'd want to incarnate or not if I am allowed to be a seperate soul with all of my soul parent's memories. When some say (and I was thinking about Matt in one of his videos) who say your perspective will change once I'm on the other side and it said basically the same thing soul did, while hugging me. We were both orca like beings.
it said something like <your perspective will change, but some in your situation do choose to never incarnate again, some choose to incarnate regularly and some only incarnate very rarely for certain situations. those who say your perspective will change and you'll want to go right back to incarnating again are seeing things the way they see things. I've seen things fully from this side and seen many souls. some of them in the same situation you have so I have far more experience and a wider perspective then folks like that have.>
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I don't really like living as a total hermit, but what can I do about it. I went to the mind body spirit fair and there were just the vendors there couples waiting for a psychic reading, and that is it. one of the owners responded to the email saying there was a discussion after the lecture. if there were it's pretty ****ing well hidden from me. Though i didn't say the f word. Just saying it's pretty well hidden from me. a total bust of an hour and and a half. just to spend 10 minutes in the store. Soul doesnt want me to meet any other spiritual type folks here, so nothing I can do about that. Likely there is no one like me here anyway, given the way out spiritual stuff I'm going through. Likely I'm the only one in this whole city of a million folks.
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Also don't like the bull**** stuff on some videos on youtube claiming to be from the federation saying **** like I'm already ascended, bull****. if I were I'd be already ascended. Soul that I'm part of is ascended. This specific aspect is NOT ascended. at best I'm only half. it was NOT my wish to come here, it was the soul I'm part of Big ****ing Difference.
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So what will my light body look like? <what would you like it to look like?> A cetacean, dolphin and orca, but mailable. <given your soul linage then that'll be the default. The early stage may be more human, but that will quickly and easily change. and when the incarnation ends it may be more human but will quickly change>
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Took a nap and while still awake was in 2 places at once, during this, not sure when, the physical body went to sleep.
I was belly to belly with the oversoul with it seeming to be holding me in it's almost hand like flippers. I seemingly had the nipple in my mouth again, only this time I could see part of it lead off somewhere. Part of it was already part way down whatever the body is made of that i was in, an orca again, and morphed to form an airtight seal.
"This isn't part of you. I thought it was. it's some sort of... medical device?" I asked. before I couldn't see it very well since looking back on it it was like my eyes were inches form the oversoul's chest, maybe why all I could see was white and black. here I couldn't see any details. maybe it was some special place or the room may have had all the lights turned off or something.
<never said it was a part of me and it is a .... device.>
"what is it pumping into me anyway?"<Light quotient.>
"feels like I'm over stuffed." <part of that is the food you ate but it does have a feed back device so it knows if you've reached your limit. > teh odd thing is when i finish eating I am never full. The most i eat is a cup at a time. So I'm never full when I go to sleep or take a nap.
I then felt something being inserted anally and it felt fantastic going in. "is that your.. or is it another device?"
<that's a surprise, but in any case it'll insert a special energy.> i assume it meant kundalini or something.
"So, is it true that I'll be forced to incarnate here by higher self or soul till Like being here?" I had read this somewhere
It hugged me close. <Look your soul's not going to force you to keep incarnating. how do you feel about your mission really?>
"well, I didn't consciously come here, soul picked to incarnate here but not me. But what I do know of the mission, I do see it's importance. The earth is often to cold, to bright, the vibration of many areas is either to low or to icky feeling, to loud. I seem to be allergic or intolerant to the food and the planet and it seems to be getting worst the older I get."
<So it's the location of the mission you don't like much, but not the mission. Those are 2 different things. Things may change. The conditions of the earth may change to notable levels during your incarnation, or perhaps not.>
It was at this time i felt what felt like needles being jabbed into my back, one at a time. "ow, what is that." <the next step of the procedure.> I then found myself on a table of some sort with what looked like the light blue skinned person from before and I was in a dolphinlike form. I switched to an orca, then popped back to a dolphin out of my control, shifted back to an orca then popped back to a dolphin. she said it was easier on the equipment if I was a dolphin then an orca. I apologized, not thinking of that. I did notice at this point that I could feel my physical body at the point and both the physical body and kundalini were resonating, though the 2 resonating were different.
"hey, are you the same one as before?" she said she was. i said i've never been in this room before. I think she said not consciously. then it felt like I wasn't resonating anymore. She said something like it had been, evened out, or something, forgot the details, so both were evenly resonating in sequence, though I couldn't feel it at all. I did feel the abdominal sharp pain start to return, mentioned it. She said something like, "unfortunate side effect." and next i felt like what felt like warm vibrating rods being inserted into my abdominal area, not sure how may rods or how deep they went. but it did help and after a short time the pain went away. then she said the procedure is over. and I awoke. Not sure what this was about or what was going on, or why.
forgot this scene. Forgot where it happens during the procedure, I think towards the end.
"So when this is light body stuff is finished will I be able to do that astral projection thing?"
"i'd rather you waited till the light body is fully activated and active before you do any projection." She said. I didn't think to ask what I'm doing now, being in 2 places at once at times.
"So will you tell me when it's all done?"
"oversoul will. he has a surprise for you. A special celebration he's planning." She said smiling.
"him, I thought it was usually both genders at once. Like I think I sometimes or usually am." I said, meaning in whatever body i'm in. is it astral, or above? I've no idea.
"He'll be in a male gender then. That's all i can tell you." She said.
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Just had a ? strange incident? as I type this I longer feel the resonating, but my energy feels ? different, shifted? not sure.
I had the voice again, that sounds like, me but not me, saying "they are tricking me and none of it is true." I then felt a sort of presence from my oversoul, and feel some tingling energy from above mixed with love/pleasure, though I did ask him, not to much, I don't want to get a headache and it seems to lighten a bit.
When I heard the voice then felt the mental presence I leaned back in the chair I was sorta 2 places at once again. only maybe 10% or 20% there, not sure. it had me in an embrace. with it's tongue in my mouth, no idea why, it had no sexual connotations to it. it felt like (and I feel some resonating again going through the body) anyway it felt like I was dissolving into my oversoul. a part of me didn't' want to stop being an individual so pulled back and i was back in this body but did still feel the sorta mental presence. The voice said "listen to me." I decided to pick the oversoul since it seems and feels loving and not totally open about certain information did promise full disclosure at some point in the future. and I went back wherever it is, back into its embrace and the feeling of love again coming from it. My oversoul said, <no listen to me.> I felt myself beginning to dissolve into it and at that time choose to let the process finish, giving up my right to be an individual to merge with it, and it seems like I did, but yet I'm not sure. more then a decade ago i did merge with the soul I'm part of and another soul, and this wasn't like either. it did feel like i dissolved into the oversoul my soul is part of, and for an instant i stopped being an individual, but i didn't' become a gestalt being of it and me, nor did I become more me, like when I merged with the soul I'm part of. Still no idea what happened. but my energy feels? different somehow. I was thinking before I got to this point if I had given up the right to ever be an individual soul, but shad spoke up and said, <no, you'll have the choice again.> he seemed unsure if soul or oversoul would ask me my choice then. But he did also say, "I'll call myself chad. I like that name better then Shad or Shaddington now, you know." I feel pretty great, so guess whatever happened I made the right choice?
I wonder what happened. Anyone have any ideas?
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Before i took my shower I heard a mental female voice say, "you made the right choice." I asked who are you but I didn't' hear anything else.
Took another nap. Was with my oversoul briefly. I first appeared in it's lap. No idea why, I wasn't expecting that.
I asked it what our relationship was now, was it changed? <it's .... complicated.>
What is it really? <do you really want to know?> it asks smiling. I figure it'll be vague or avoid a real answer, so I ask,
"Do you still promise a fill disclosure?" <at the appropriate time.> "ok, can you add this to it, explaining what our relationship is?? <ok.> I tried looking around the room or place we are in but can't see anything. "Why can't i see any background or anything here but you?" <if you could see the background or decorations here you'd just find it very distracting.>
Then we mainly go back to embracing, hugging, doing the closest thing we can to kissing, touching our mouths together, but we don't have lips, being anthro orcas. For some reason he did put his maleness into me anally, but didn't thrust, he just kept it there as we embarrassed and kept our mouths together, sharing love, but no sex nor sharing involved. The hint of sex, but no real sex nor soul sex involved.
It did move us so I was on my back and it as on top. I asked, "so you want to be on top now do you?" only half seriously. it said, <you want to be dominated by me.> I am not consciously aware of this, but it is possible. Or maybe it meant that I want to be since it's more experienced or something. No biggie.
it said it's complicated. I do wonder and ask it "if I do get to be an independent soul will I be able to pick to remember only the soul's memories I'm part of now, or can I choose to have yours too?" It said <we'll see.>
I awoke and felt my entire abdominal area was resonating. No idea what is up with that.
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Something is going on with my abdominal area. I've no idea what. hard to describe the sensation. it's not pain. is it resonating now? is energy coursing through it? blocks or a blockage of some kind? I've no idea.
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Now I feel energy coursing through my feet and ? lower legs, all my legs? connected to my abdominal coursing of energy, and there is some abdominal pain as well. no idea what is up. Lots of blocks somewhere? No idea. Though at least the abdominal pain is nothing like it was yesterday.
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Feels like the pain is gone. still not sure what is going on with my abdominal area or the feeling of energy coursing through the abdominal and down my legs.
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I somehow knew that what I call an oversoul wanted to see me again. In case some don't know what I mean when i use that term. In this case it is the soul of the soul I'm part of. Or like oversoul said, not sure I put that down before but it said. <As you are a part of the soul you are part of, an aspect of the soul you're part of. The soul you're part of was once a part of me, an aspect of mine. before it choose to be an independent soul.>
anyway I sent part of me to where oversoul was. no idea where since my vision was taken up by it's face. We were anthro orca type beings again.
it was kissing me again as well as embracing. i could feel myself starting to dissolve into it again. "You don't want me to be an independant soul do you?" i asked, not sure why i did, it just slipped out. i wasn't really thinking that. I was mainly thinking how the love I felt form it felt wonderful.
<Or course I do.> it answered. the part of me that was there dissolved into him, but didn't merge with him. not sure what happened.
the me that was there with oversoul and dissolved into it. This body was still listening to something I was playing on the pc, but wasn't thinking and couldn't move. not due to being paralyzed, but do ti there was no intelligence here. Just the automatic brain stuff. this went on for 20 seconds to a minute, not sure how long and then i was back here in the body again. the uncomfortable feeling in my abdominal area and feeling of surging of energy had totally died down maybe 20 or more minutes before. Then when I was back in this body it's all back. The uncomfortable feeling in my abdominal area, the feeling of energy surging around the abdominal area and down my legs to my feet. No idea what is going on or why oversoul's done this twice now.
all oversoul says is <it's part of the process.> but what process. it won't say. Wonder when i go to bed tonight if I can project to that 2nd room thing I've been and get the uncomfortable symptoms done away with. though as I'm tying this it does feel like it's easing a bit. the uncomfortable abdominal feeling, not the energy. wonder if there is some sort of blockage or a lot of blockage or something. and what is going on with all this and what's been happening recently, any ideas anyone has? Just curious.
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I decide to ask oversoul a question though I didn't get it fully asked before it answered, efficent and fast.
"so, about that bit your aspect that is a guide of mine, though he doesn't like the term...<yes, you are a guide though you may not be aware of it.> "What do you mean?" <you just are. though as you know souls can be other things too. >
"are you like a 5 star general, a king, or something? <or something.> it says with a smile, <something like those maybe, but not a king. hard to describe and the details are not important anyway.>
"What is with the absorbing me into yourself anyway? <a certain process. Glad that you're not worried some would be in your place.> it smiles a bit, <I do know exactly what I'm doing.>
She didn't say but is Scarlett right in what she thinks she knows what you folks are planning for me? <maybe.>
I do wonder what she thinks they have planned for me. or is a secret. Maybe betwen her and them. ;)
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had a short conversation with what I call oversoul, not sure of a better term. I am to it, a sort of aspect of an aspect. an active aspect of a separate aspect that was once an aspect of it and will one day be a separate aspect, who has an aspect that will one day choose to be separate as well. It is a member of the pod also. one of the most senior members. Though they all prefer all pod members to be equals. There is no real rank in the members of the pod. The soul I did split off of like I will one day do. So in a way I could be said to be one day a soul that will split off of one of the souls that split off of it.
Forgot to add in. I did ask it about if my perspective would change or not since I'm not sure if I'd want to incarnate or not if I am allowed to be a seperate soul with all of my soul parent's memories. When some say (and I was thinking about Matt in one of his videos) who say your perspective will change once I'm on the other side and it said basically the same thing soul did, while hugging me. We were both orca like beings.
it said something like <your perspective will change, but some in your situation do choose to never incarnate again, some choose to incarnate regularly and some only incarnate very rarely for certain situations. those who say your perspective will change and you'll want to go right back to incarnating again are seeing things the way they see things. I've seen things fully from this side and seen many souls. some of them in the same situation you have so I have far more experience and a wider perspective then folks like that have.>
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I don't really like living as a total hermit, but what can I do about it. I went to the mind body spirit fair and there were just the vendors there couples waiting for a psychic reading, and that is it. one of the owners responded to the email saying there was a discussion after the lecture. if there were it's pretty ****ing well hidden from me. Though i didn't say the f word. Just saying it's pretty well hidden from me. a total bust of an hour and and a half. just to spend 10 minutes in the store. Soul doesnt want me to meet any other spiritual type folks here, so nothing I can do about that. Likely there is no one like me here anyway, given the way out spiritual stuff I'm going through. Likely I'm the only one in this whole city of a million folks.
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Also don't like the bull**** stuff on some videos on youtube claiming to be from the federation saying **** like I'm already ascended, bull****. if I were I'd be already ascended. Soul that I'm part of is ascended. This specific aspect is NOT ascended. at best I'm only half. it was NOT my wish to come here, it was the soul I'm part of Big ****ing Difference.
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So what will my light body look like? <what would you like it to look like?> A cetacean, dolphin and orca, but mailable. <given your soul linage then that'll be the default. The early stage may be more human, but that will quickly and easily change. and when the incarnation ends it may be more human but will quickly change>
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Took a nap and while still awake was in 2 places at once, during this, not sure when, the physical body went to sleep.
I was belly to belly with the oversoul with it seeming to be holding me in it's almost hand like flippers. I seemingly had the nipple in my mouth again, only this time I could see part of it lead off somewhere. Part of it was already part way down whatever the body is made of that i was in, an orca again, and morphed to form an airtight seal.
"This isn't part of you. I thought it was. it's some sort of... medical device?" I asked. before I couldn't see it very well since looking back on it it was like my eyes were inches form the oversoul's chest, maybe why all I could see was white and black. here I couldn't see any details. maybe it was some special place or the room may have had all the lights turned off or something.
<never said it was a part of me and it is a .... device.>
"what is it pumping into me anyway?"<Light quotient.>
"feels like I'm over stuffed." <part of that is the food you ate but it does have a feed back device so it knows if you've reached your limit. > teh odd thing is when i finish eating I am never full. The most i eat is a cup at a time. So I'm never full when I go to sleep or take a nap.
I then felt something being inserted anally and it felt fantastic going in. "is that your.. or is it another device?"
<that's a surprise, but in any case it'll insert a special energy.> i assume it meant kundalini or something.
"So, is it true that I'll be forced to incarnate here by higher self or soul till Like being here?" I had read this somewhere
It hugged me close. <Look your soul's not going to force you to keep incarnating. how do you feel about your mission really?>
"well, I didn't consciously come here, soul picked to incarnate here but not me. But what I do know of the mission, I do see it's importance. The earth is often to cold, to bright, the vibration of many areas is either to low or to icky feeling, to loud. I seem to be allergic or intolerant to the food and the planet and it seems to be getting worst the older I get."
<So it's the location of the mission you don't like much, but not the mission. Those are 2 different things. Things may change. The conditions of the earth may change to notable levels during your incarnation, or perhaps not.>
It was at this time i felt what felt like needles being jabbed into my back, one at a time. "ow, what is that." <the next step of the procedure.> I then found myself on a table of some sort with what looked like the light blue skinned person from before and I was in a dolphinlike form. I switched to an orca, then popped back to a dolphin out of my control, shifted back to an orca then popped back to a dolphin. she said it was easier on the equipment if I was a dolphin then an orca. I apologized, not thinking of that. I did notice at this point that I could feel my physical body at the point and both the physical body and kundalini were resonating, though the 2 resonating were different.
"hey, are you the same one as before?" she said she was. i said i've never been in this room before. I think she said not consciously. then it felt like I wasn't resonating anymore. She said something like it had been, evened out, or something, forgot the details, so both were evenly resonating in sequence, though I couldn't feel it at all. I did feel the abdominal sharp pain start to return, mentioned it. She said something like, "unfortunate side effect." and next i felt like what felt like warm vibrating rods being inserted into my abdominal area, not sure how may rods or how deep they went. but it did help and after a short time the pain went away. then she said the procedure is over. and I awoke. Not sure what this was about or what was going on, or why.
forgot this scene. Forgot where it happens during the procedure, I think towards the end.
"So when this is light body stuff is finished will I be able to do that astral projection thing?"
"i'd rather you waited till the light body is fully activated and active before you do any projection." She said. I didn't think to ask what I'm doing now, being in 2 places at once at times.
"So will you tell me when it's all done?"
"oversoul will. he has a surprise for you. A special celebration he's planning." She said smiling.
"him, I thought it was usually both genders at once. Like I think I sometimes or usually am." I said, meaning in whatever body i'm in. is it astral, or above? I've no idea.
"He'll be in a male gender then. That's all i can tell you." She said.
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Just had a ? strange incident? as I type this I longer feel the resonating, but my energy feels ? different, shifted? not sure.
I had the voice again, that sounds like, me but not me, saying "they are tricking me and none of it is true." I then felt a sort of presence from my oversoul, and feel some tingling energy from above mixed with love/pleasure, though I did ask him, not to much, I don't want to get a headache and it seems to lighten a bit.
When I heard the voice then felt the mental presence I leaned back in the chair I was sorta 2 places at once again. only maybe 10% or 20% there, not sure. it had me in an embrace. with it's tongue in my mouth, no idea why, it had no sexual connotations to it. it felt like (and I feel some resonating again going through the body) anyway it felt like I was dissolving into my oversoul. a part of me didn't' want to stop being an individual so pulled back and i was back in this body but did still feel the sorta mental presence. The voice said "listen to me." I decided to pick the oversoul since it seems and feels loving and not totally open about certain information did promise full disclosure at some point in the future. and I went back wherever it is, back into its embrace and the feeling of love again coming from it. My oversoul said, <no listen to me.> I felt myself beginning to dissolve into it and at that time choose to let the process finish, giving up my right to be an individual to merge with it, and it seems like I did, but yet I'm not sure. more then a decade ago i did merge with the soul I'm part of and another soul, and this wasn't like either. it did feel like i dissolved into the oversoul my soul is part of, and for an instant i stopped being an individual, but i didn't' become a gestalt being of it and me, nor did I become more me, like when I merged with the soul I'm part of. Still no idea what happened. but my energy feels? different somehow. I was thinking before I got to this point if I had given up the right to ever be an individual soul, but shad spoke up and said, <no, you'll have the choice again.> he seemed unsure if soul or oversoul would ask me my choice then. But he did also say, "I'll call myself chad. I like that name better then Shad or Shaddington now, you know." I feel pretty great, so guess whatever happened I made the right choice?
I wonder what happened. Anyone have any ideas?
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Before i took my shower I heard a mental female voice say, "you made the right choice." I asked who are you but I didn't' hear anything else.
Took another nap. Was with my oversoul briefly. I first appeared in it's lap. No idea why, I wasn't expecting that.
I asked it what our relationship was now, was it changed? <it's .... complicated.>
What is it really? <do you really want to know?> it asks smiling. I figure it'll be vague or avoid a real answer, so I ask,
"Do you still promise a fill disclosure?" <at the appropriate time.> "ok, can you add this to it, explaining what our relationship is?? <ok.> I tried looking around the room or place we are in but can't see anything. "Why can't i see any background or anything here but you?" <if you could see the background or decorations here you'd just find it very distracting.>
Then we mainly go back to embracing, hugging, doing the closest thing we can to kissing, touching our mouths together, but we don't have lips, being anthro orcas. For some reason he did put his maleness into me anally, but didn't thrust, he just kept it there as we embarrassed and kept our mouths together, sharing love, but no sex nor sharing involved. The hint of sex, but no real sex nor soul sex involved.
It did move us so I was on my back and it as on top. I asked, "so you want to be on top now do you?" only half seriously. it said, <you want to be dominated by me.> I am not consciously aware of this, but it is possible. Or maybe it meant that I want to be since it's more experienced or something. No biggie.
it said it's complicated. I do wonder and ask it "if I do get to be an independent soul will I be able to pick to remember only the soul's memories I'm part of now, or can I choose to have yours too?" It said <we'll see.>
I awoke and felt my entire abdominal area was resonating. No idea what is up with that.
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Something is going on with my abdominal area. I've no idea what. hard to describe the sensation. it's not pain. is it resonating now? is energy coursing through it? blocks or a blockage of some kind? I've no idea.
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Now I feel energy coursing through my feet and ? lower legs, all my legs? connected to my abdominal coursing of energy, and there is some abdominal pain as well. no idea what is up. Lots of blocks somewhere? No idea. Though at least the abdominal pain is nothing like it was yesterday.
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Feels like the pain is gone. still not sure what is going on with my abdominal area or the feeling of energy coursing through the abdominal and down my legs.
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I somehow knew that what I call an oversoul wanted to see me again. In case some don't know what I mean when i use that term. In this case it is the soul of the soul I'm part of. Or like oversoul said, not sure I put that down before but it said. <As you are a part of the soul you are part of, an aspect of the soul you're part of. The soul you're part of was once a part of me, an aspect of mine. before it choose to be an independent soul.>
anyway I sent part of me to where oversoul was. no idea where since my vision was taken up by it's face. We were anthro orca type beings again.
it was kissing me again as well as embracing. i could feel myself starting to dissolve into it again. "You don't want me to be an independant soul do you?" i asked, not sure why i did, it just slipped out. i wasn't really thinking that. I was mainly thinking how the love I felt form it felt wonderful.
<Or course I do.> it answered. the part of me that was there dissolved into him, but didn't merge with him. not sure what happened.
the me that was there with oversoul and dissolved into it. This body was still listening to something I was playing on the pc, but wasn't thinking and couldn't move. not due to being paralyzed, but do ti there was no intelligence here. Just the automatic brain stuff. this went on for 20 seconds to a minute, not sure how long and then i was back here in the body again. the uncomfortable feeling in my abdominal area and feeling of surging of energy had totally died down maybe 20 or more minutes before. Then when I was back in this body it's all back. The uncomfortable feeling in my abdominal area, the feeling of energy surging around the abdominal area and down my legs to my feet. No idea what is going on or why oversoul's done this twice now.
all oversoul says is <it's part of the process.> but what process. it won't say. Wonder when i go to bed tonight if I can project to that 2nd room thing I've been and get the uncomfortable symptoms done away with. though as I'm tying this it does feel like it's easing a bit. the uncomfortable abdominal feeling, not the energy. wonder if there is some sort of blockage or a lot of blockage or something. and what is going on with all this and what's been happening recently, any ideas anyone has? Just curious.
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I decide to ask oversoul a question though I didn't get it fully asked before it answered, efficent and fast.
"so, about that bit your aspect that is a guide of mine, though he doesn't like the term...<yes, you are a guide though you may not be aware of it.> "What do you mean?" <you just are. though as you know souls can be other things too. >
"are you like a 5 star general, a king, or something? <or something.> it says with a smile, <something like those maybe, but not a king. hard to describe and the details are not important anyway.>
"What is with the absorbing me into yourself anyway? <a certain process. Glad that you're not worried some would be in your place.> it smiles a bit, <I do know exactly what I'm doing.>
She didn't say but is Scarlett right in what she thinks she knows what you folks are planning for me? <maybe.>
I do wonder what she thinks they have planned for me. or is a secret. Maybe betwen her and them. ;)
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