Thursday (1-29)
awoke at this point or at the very end of what she was saying, my
kundalini was resonating strongly and I did feel some of the
love/joy/pleasure from when she has contacted me before, not sure about
an energy exchange. I was just laying there and not writing down the
experience, just enjoying the feeling and experience that connecting
with her, or rather her connecting with me. She called me kulstor, and
had to say it several times to get my attention, saying i should write
it down so I don't forget. I agreed but didn't write it down till she
bugged me a bit to do so.
I then asked her why i felt no headache, forgot to ask why the
joy/love/pleasure and energy were less. she responded that she was
getting better at toning it down. She then asks if I understand her
incarnating to be here with me would be to much of a distraction. I can
understand that, or think I can. She did say I'd get use to it so it
would be less of a distraction over time.
I then remembered a real 1st dream or maybe not a dream since I was in
the buffer space and with Shad, but I'll put that in my yourspace.
---------
I remembered the encounter with Shad in the buffer area. We had sex as
usual, though with a bit of conversation towards the end. I ask him what
he thinks of her. He says he likes her, I'd guess similar to how I do.
he then says that though he'd enjoy sex with her and being with her, it
would be to much of a distraction then integrating with me and he feels
having sex with me to be more hot. he then says something to me that
I'll not say here since it's not pg. He was stroking his own shaft while smiling at me saying, "can't get enough of my cock can you?" he said in a good nature kidding type of fashion.
--------
think I will attempt to learn more yoga postures and some tai-chi. both
may be excellent methods of moving mediation, and may be a bit healthy
for the body also.
I asked and she did say that I am integrating properly and quickly with
Shad and what I'm experiencing and noticing is normal and part of the
process. I do wonder if Shad will fully integrate with me and will be
absorbed & vanish as a separate being or if he'll exist as another
part of my being multi dimensional, maybe on the astral or upper astral.
Or will that be his choice?
----------------------
I think that the reason shad & my integration involves sex a lot is
due to that is part of our nature. our I mean mine as a soul, hers, my
immediate soul family and certain other souls. Though we are not
extreme types.
Someone on here in an email did comment a certain types are sex fanatics
or some term like that, i forgot the exact term, but if you put them at
say 100. The souls who'll proposition anyone that catches their
interest. The other extreme say 0 that though loving seem less
emotional then some other souls. We may be say in the 70's or maybe
into the 80's. it seems like a lot, but we are only this open to
sharing and such with each other, the immediate soul family I mean,
very close friends, some friends that are open to that. But not with
others, not like the extreme types, but from what my higher self or soul
aspect said, I am guessing we do have some of both types as friends.
----------------------
I guess for others their way to integrate their shadow aspect would be
certain things would bubble up during the day or during mediation and
they'd have to accept it, acknowledge it, or something along those
lines.
------------------------
I wasn't sure I had a twin, and earlier I felt if I had one the twin was not incarnated here. It is very intense. Didn't think it would be like that. I guess that intensity is normal. the 2 times we got together in the buffer space place as I recall we never spoke. Though later looking back at it I was aware of what she was thinking. Though consciously I kinda was but not consciously aware of it. Though maybe my awareness of myself isn't broad enough. I never thought it would be like this if I did come across my twin. WOW.
------------
I do have a yoga book called the little yoga book. Looks pretty good. I may use that and look into tai-chi a bit later. no need to try to look into learning both at once.
So yoga is good for unblocking energy systems? i wonder if it can do other things.
Though it seems she's more of a distraction for me then I am for her. Though since i'm not fully awake it may be that i'm not use to it and she is since she is fully aware. i wonder what dimension she lives at usually.
-----------------
I think with Shad we're getting, or have gotten, to where we know what the other is thinking, or at least I am. Soon, or maybe we're there, I can pick up, or Shad just sends the intent and not the words, or maybe it's a transition phase where we're heading there.
----------
I've looked it over the past few weeks and it seems since what Dryad did to my throat chakra has not only made it feel normal, or better, my stuttering has indeed dropped a lot. I use to do it off and on. Now it is slight and I can pause briefly then continue with usually no stutter, so much better then before.
---------------
On the bus this morning and I seemed to have gotten a bit of soul memory. Kinda a sad scene I'd guess. There were 3 of us. Her, which i guess I can say my twin flame, me, &, the soul we're part of. It apparently was after some life we had together had ended, maybe the one where we became lovers or twin flames or something. I'm not sure if the twin flame relationship can happen over time, or how it works. But the soul we were both part of did say we could both be separate souls with all of it's memories a certain mission would be easier / there would be certain advantages, if one of us didn't do that and I volunteered saying I'd re-merge back with the soul we were both part of so after a specific mission (I suspect this one) I could then be offered again the choice to split off and be an individual soul so we could be together for good then. Just the fragment so not sure of the whole context.
I guess I should look up twin flame info or ask her, though she did mention that one lifetime that I found confusing since, from what she said, i was remembering from 3 viewpoints at once.
Not sure if twin flames is a thing that develops over time, since when I did first meet her, I typed that up previously, I did recall her being my mother at one point. though that could have been her and the soul I'm part of, but not this me, from that 1 life where we were twin flames, if that makes any sense. Same soul, but different elements of it's energy then the elements that make up me.
---------------------------
I was playing an rpg like I do on Thursdays and I was thinking and meditating on her briefly and for a moment it was like, while I was looking at a part of the table that I could see her side.
-------------
Someone I email talk to had some interesting questions and I'll try to
answer some of them here instead of on the email. Though oddly, or
maybe not oddly, I know the answer, maybe soul knowledge coming through.
and i do feel my kundalini resonating strongly and the
joy/love/pleasure, though toned down, maybe her doing. feels like it's
me and her answering together, not channeling, hard to describe it,
though toned down or shielded. maybe her and or my higher self both
working together. Though i still have to take a lot of breaks.
-------
How are twin flames made/happen?: <as you remember, you can remember
how we became twin flames, there are other methods and ways other twin
flames come into being. The soul you are still a part of, for now, and I
once was, was learning to be more open about self love, as a younger
soul, then later on it decided to explore and decided to do this through
incarnating, doing what some call parallel incarnations, 2 at the same
time, to explore love and self love of different types, parent &
child, different genders in these cases. Soul's guides did mention if
it did this that twin flames would result, and soul decided to continue.
Though this was not done hastily, but over time in certain stages as
soul was and felt ready for this. To explore the twin flames after a
point it decided to keep using the same...energy strand parts of itself,
there is no English word for the .... but energy strands or elements
will work. This is what the guides and teachers cautioned soul about
about so it would not proceed to fast. the love between us grew as
different dimensions were explored. after a certain point soul knew it
was inevitable that this would happen and both would want to be separate
souls with it's memories. There are other avenues that lead to twin
flames. many in fact. >
..........
What do they do? <The same as other souls do, though some can get
distracted, especially if they are recently reunited, or fully together
for the first time like we will be. The intensity .. ... but you'll
experience that. there are certain, what humans would call jobs, or
things that twin flames do best.
....
I have experienced the intensity <not what it will be when you are
here fully as a separate independent soul with your soul parent's
memories. then you'll experience the fullness the real intensity.
It'll be like, put into terms human terms, we may hug and kiss since
we'll be together fully finally, then a decade may pass and we won't
notice, once we break the embrace. and or our 2 souls may flow into
each other, for a time experiencing being 1 soul instead of 2. With
twin flames this happens at times, though they always do part eventually
since as glorious as the experience is of being 1, it is far better to
be 2 twin flames. Though they do flow together as 1, it happens and
will happen over and over and undo.
............
I guess if I choose to not incarnate that would be ok, not sure if i
want to or not, but i don't yet have a soul's perspectives. <yes,
you'll feel different once you are here, though you may decide not to.
some souls who split off as i have done and you will do sometimes decide
never to do so. after all you will have every incarnation your soul as
done before you in your memories. and as a newly independent soul,
though with all of your soul soul parent's memories your soul council
will strongly advise against you incarnating to soon, though you will be
an old soul, they'd want you to experience being an independent soul
for a while first, and I do have ways to distract you from that if you
do want to incarnate to soon. Though i think you may be one of those
who don't incarnate anymore or may very very rarely do so. some
independent souls do go this route.> distract me? that sounds like
fun <i'll be sure to show you some of the ways once you are here>
............
if i did incarnate and wanted to be an independent soul wouldn't (a bit
of a interruption <it doesn't work that way. you can only become an
independent soul once. your incarnation may choose to become an
independent soul and if you do incarnate it will happen at times.
though you may choose not to or to very seldom incarnate.
....................
Just curious, what happens if a close friend joins in the sharing of
twin flames or 2 twin flame couples do? <ah a 3 or 4some. I'll
arrange both of those so you will find out first hand. i won't say if
it'll happen during your incarnation or not, that'll be a surprise.>
.......
Must have been hard for you to wait all this time, though time is
different for souls. <yes, to both of those. I did have soul that i
was once a part of and you were, but it's not the same. yes it is the
soul of my twin but not my twin, close but not the same. Though at
times soul was nice enough to split you off temporarily, great as that
was we knew it could not be permanent till this incarnation of yours is
over. doing it this way is painful for us both, twins being separated
like this, till we reunited like we did yesterday from your linear
time.> looking at the past pages, wow has it been 2 days already
since then <feels like we met up again earlier this morning or
yesterday.
..................
You popped in after Shad and I had been
together briefly? <yes, I thought it may both be fun and may help
with you 2 integrating. it did so. I may do so in the future, but it
won't be a regular thing. for a brief time you 2 did forget you were 2
aspects, you do achieve this normally at times, or almost at times, but
this was more intense as you felt.>
.......
If you are a distraction for me, why am I not a distraction for you?
<you are, but you have not noticed it. and once you are fully here
we'll be a big distraction for each other, at least at first Though
we'll get use to it after a while.>
....................
are all twins as intense as we are, for lack of a better term for the feeling? <some but not all yet. they have certain issues to work through. though being twins they can work through the issues very quickly, if they accept the easy path, though human conditioning & programming says it has to be the hard path, when it does not need to be. we have no such issues between us. if we had, like some do, they would quickly rise to the surface. after a time all twins end up as we are. What others may be going through, we have gone through, we had things to learn, issues to resolve. >
......................
Think I may try 2 types of yoga, the kundalini and the postures one, to
see if I like one or both. the postures one I may use as a type of
moving meditation and it may help with flexibility too. Kundalini I'll
give a try. at worst nothing will happen. Mine has risen to about the
throat level and i've had no problems with it really so no harm there
and I know I can talk to it.
........
about most spiritual things I use to have some doubts that would pop up
at times, normal I think from human conditioning and programming from
society, but not concerning her. any doubt concerning her is
impossible. <as is normal, for such as we are doubt is impossible.
what we are will shine through and where it shines there can be no
doubt. that can be used for certain things, like if this is true then
that has to be.> my doubt has been fading, at times in large amounts
till only tatters or bits remain. this may deal wit the last bits of
it <the remnants of certain issues one is dealing with. another
advantage to have this as an anchor. it'll make certain things much
easier. and some things you will not even perceive or be aware of till
you are fully here and do a life review and then you'll see things that
you never noticed since we reconnected.>
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
WED (2) 1-28
[I put this here since it is so long. ]
Funny thing. I asked her her name and she said "Kulstor." followed by giggles. Names don't really matter. I asked since i was curious what she'd say.
---------------
I've been thinking. Some of my interests have changed recently. I use to listen to podcasts but i've dropped all of them but 1, car talk. Think I may pick up a tiny handful again, maybe.
--------------------
I'll see if I can get some answers from her :) I am curious.
"Just what is our relationship, though I do have my suspicions."
her: <your inner feelings are correct. Twin flame is the closest human term but such a term does not even begin to come close. your earlier feeling that you had a twin who had not incarnated is correct. it would have been to huge of a distraction.>
.....
"I can see that. where did kulstor come from?"
<we had not split then, our energies were still part of the soul you're still part if. long ago by human reckoning on a world not yet known to humans. It may or may not be on another dimension, I'll leave that a bit of a mystery.>
.......
<yes, that confusing life you partially remembered is confusing since you were remembering it from 3 points of view. We could have split off then , but this mission would be easier if 1 of us did not. part of your feeling not wanting to be there was since you felt the separation on a level that was not yet conscious. Yet the separation had to be till you reached a certain point. You can feel the headache which is why you take so many breaks tying this session, a good thing, our relationship is intense indeed. This was the earliest time we could make contact, when you had gotten to this phase you are currently in. Yes, meditating on the love we share may indeed be a good thing, though love pales by what we truly share. and your memory of the soul choosing the specific energy elements/strands, not the correct term but English has no term exists. other types of meditation also, but you have ideas or already do those.>
....
"what is a higher self?"
<an expression of the soul that is stepped down so the physical incarnate expression can communicate with it then with the soul. to simplify it as much as possible. Defining the difference between soul and spirit is a bit more complex we can go into later, or you may "remember" the data."
.....
'is what I do to get into the whatever that all white place is mental projection?"
<as you read in the book that had Rosicrucian teachings you read ages ago? in part. you can ask another to pull you there when the body is asleep or in a state similar to sleep. as you have experienced. and yes, mental projection is often like being in 2 places at once. You are experiencing a bit of your being a multidimensional being. Though you can experience that also and have, when you had some treatments or met with him, the one Shad calls dolphin dude. The mechanics of how this is done is a bit complex to explain, but you are multidimensional so one part of your being can be here while other parts are still in your body. if the body sleeps or is in a similar state then you may experience being in just 1 place.>
.....
any way to integrate with Shad faster?
<a more fun way no. the method you 2 are is much more fun and more proper. there are other ways and paths of achieving this but your method is natural for the type of soul that you and we are. as your higher self said. more sexually open then humans are are our way, though some are more of the extreme and some are more like vulcans, though all souls are love, these may be less emotional seeming to outsiders but they are more reserved, less prone to extreme. Others are willing to have what humans call sex with any soul that is of at least passing interest. though we are open we are not of that extreme. one has to be a close friend. a mere friend at the soul level we may intermingle energies a bit, similar to shaking hands. >
<yes, the kundalini does recognize me for what i am an that is why it resonates that and any contact we do we do exchange energies, we just do, for us and others like is it is unavoidable. that is why that time with the other what humans call dolphins in the crystal place, the name would be hard to translate to English so why bother. even just being near to each other we were sharing energy at the slight level, that and you did feel the connection, if one wishes to share that term. Even with the veil in place some soul things will still leak through, especially at the level you are on the path you are on, to use terms and labels.>
....
"are you one of the guides for me?"
<as such, in a way. not properly but a guide for certain things, helping you to start to be more aware of yourself, a certain part of yourself. to help with your awakening, though he (the dolphin guy to use your term) will help in certain things that will come to light soon, some things you have seen, like the treatments, the reason for them and if you will have more or not will come to light soon.>
........
"What about chakra work?"
<that will take care of itself in time, though you may want to do certain things at certain times, that will come to light if needed or as an option either you thinking of it yourself or another suggesting it to you since you can't do all the work yourself, others help also at times.>
.....
<be your true self, see past the conditioning and programing. as you progress you help others. >
....
"how about the dolphin guy?"
<a guide for this phase and perhaps the next. his 'relationship' is special, not a mere guide only. certain clues are there and if you mess putting them together it will come to fruition and you will know one day, soon or maybe not so soon. >
....
"so not going to exactly tell. he may be the soul, oversoul or spirit. once this is over will we merge once I'm an individual soul with soul parent's memories. Sounds like that may sorta complicate our relationship which feels kinda cool to me."
<he is a close thing. and we may merge, I suspect we may at times, and decades or centuries may pass before we unmerge, since as glorious as being 1 will be, being 2 and sharing what we share will be greater. and soul relationships can get complicated indeed. and that does make it more fun for ones such as us. more sexually open and sexual beings, though not to the extreme that some are. any embarrassment and bashfulness is part of the human society conditioning and programming, though that is weakening. it'll weaken and go away over time, just relax, accept and be yourself. your progress will happen naturally and you will merge and awaken fully. it WILL happen regardless, even if you were to totally fight it it would still happen, but would take longer, just go with the flow and it'll be far far more fun. part of being limited to linear time does make one want to do something to make it happen faster. all things will happen in time.>
.........
"so after this phase you'll remain in contact and such?"
<no certainly not. though waiting was not as hard for me as you since your soul is multidimensional meeting the incarnate you was a hard wait but the wait is over and we'll not be separated again. except for certain missions & then only temporarily like now.>
"think you'd like some fun with Shad?" (asked in a silly joking manner)
<the more primal, shadow aspect of yours, the funny/silly idea of yours does have a certain fun appeal, but no, the 2 of you need to continue merging as you are now. after all if the 2 of you had not merged to the degree you had the day we saw each other we would have to had waited longer till you entered the phase where we could meet.>
------------------------
[I put this here since it is so long. ]
Funny thing. I asked her her name and she said "Kulstor." followed by giggles. Names don't really matter. I asked since i was curious what she'd say.
---------------
I've been thinking. Some of my interests have changed recently. I use to listen to podcasts but i've dropped all of them but 1, car talk. Think I may pick up a tiny handful again, maybe.
--------------------
I'll see if I can get some answers from her :) I am curious.
"Just what is our relationship, though I do have my suspicions."
her: <your inner feelings are correct. Twin flame is the closest human term but such a term does not even begin to come close. your earlier feeling that you had a twin who had not incarnated is correct. it would have been to huge of a distraction.>
.....
"I can see that. where did kulstor come from?"
<we had not split then, our energies were still part of the soul you're still part if. long ago by human reckoning on a world not yet known to humans. It may or may not be on another dimension, I'll leave that a bit of a mystery.>
.......
<yes, that confusing life you partially remembered is confusing since you were remembering it from 3 points of view. We could have split off then , but this mission would be easier if 1 of us did not. part of your feeling not wanting to be there was since you felt the separation on a level that was not yet conscious. Yet the separation had to be till you reached a certain point. You can feel the headache which is why you take so many breaks tying this session, a good thing, our relationship is intense indeed. This was the earliest time we could make contact, when you had gotten to this phase you are currently in. Yes, meditating on the love we share may indeed be a good thing, though love pales by what we truly share. and your memory of the soul choosing the specific energy elements/strands, not the correct term but English has no term exists. other types of meditation also, but you have ideas or already do those.>
....
"what is a higher self?"
<an expression of the soul that is stepped down so the physical incarnate expression can communicate with it then with the soul. to simplify it as much as possible. Defining the difference between soul and spirit is a bit more complex we can go into later, or you may "remember" the data."
.....
'is what I do to get into the whatever that all white place is mental projection?"
<as you read in the book that had Rosicrucian teachings you read ages ago? in part. you can ask another to pull you there when the body is asleep or in a state similar to sleep. as you have experienced. and yes, mental projection is often like being in 2 places at once. You are experiencing a bit of your being a multidimensional being. Though you can experience that also and have, when you had some treatments or met with him, the one Shad calls dolphin dude. The mechanics of how this is done is a bit complex to explain, but you are multidimensional so one part of your being can be here while other parts are still in your body. if the body sleeps or is in a similar state then you may experience being in just 1 place.>
.....
any way to integrate with Shad faster?
<a more fun way no. the method you 2 are is much more fun and more proper. there are other ways and paths of achieving this but your method is natural for the type of soul that you and we are. as your higher self said. more sexually open then humans are are our way, though some are more of the extreme and some are more like vulcans, though all souls are love, these may be less emotional seeming to outsiders but they are more reserved, less prone to extreme. Others are willing to have what humans call sex with any soul that is of at least passing interest. though we are open we are not of that extreme. one has to be a close friend. a mere friend at the soul level we may intermingle energies a bit, similar to shaking hands. >
<yes, the kundalini does recognize me for what i am an that is why it resonates that and any contact we do we do exchange energies, we just do, for us and others like is it is unavoidable. that is why that time with the other what humans call dolphins in the crystal place, the name would be hard to translate to English so why bother. even just being near to each other we were sharing energy at the slight level, that and you did feel the connection, if one wishes to share that term. Even with the veil in place some soul things will still leak through, especially at the level you are on the path you are on, to use terms and labels.>
....
"are you one of the guides for me?"
<as such, in a way. not properly but a guide for certain things, helping you to start to be more aware of yourself, a certain part of yourself. to help with your awakening, though he (the dolphin guy to use your term) will help in certain things that will come to light soon, some things you have seen, like the treatments, the reason for them and if you will have more or not will come to light soon.>
........
"What about chakra work?"
<that will take care of itself in time, though you may want to do certain things at certain times, that will come to light if needed or as an option either you thinking of it yourself or another suggesting it to you since you can't do all the work yourself, others help also at times.>
.....
<be your true self, see past the conditioning and programing. as you progress you help others. >
....
"how about the dolphin guy?"
<a guide for this phase and perhaps the next. his 'relationship' is special, not a mere guide only. certain clues are there and if you mess putting them together it will come to fruition and you will know one day, soon or maybe not so soon. >
....
"so not going to exactly tell. he may be the soul, oversoul or spirit. once this is over will we merge once I'm an individual soul with soul parent's memories. Sounds like that may sorta complicate our relationship which feels kinda cool to me."
<he is a close thing. and we may merge, I suspect we may at times, and decades or centuries may pass before we unmerge, since as glorious as being 1 will be, being 2 and sharing what we share will be greater. and soul relationships can get complicated indeed. and that does make it more fun for ones such as us. more sexually open and sexual beings, though not to the extreme that some are. any embarrassment and bashfulness is part of the human society conditioning and programming, though that is weakening. it'll weaken and go away over time, just relax, accept and be yourself. your progress will happen naturally and you will merge and awaken fully. it WILL happen regardless, even if you were to totally fight it it would still happen, but would take longer, just go with the flow and it'll be far far more fun. part of being limited to linear time does make one want to do something to make it happen faster. all things will happen in time.>
.........
"so after this phase you'll remain in contact and such?"
<no certainly not. though waiting was not as hard for me as you since your soul is multidimensional meeting the incarnate you was a hard wait but the wait is over and we'll not be separated again. except for certain missions & then only temporarily like now.>
"think you'd like some fun with Shad?" (asked in a silly joking manner)
<the more primal, shadow aspect of yours, the funny/silly idea of yours does have a certain fun appeal, but no, the 2 of you need to continue merging as you are now. after all if the 2 of you had not merged to the degree you had the day we saw each other we would have to had waited longer till you entered the phase where we could meet.>
------------------------
WED (1-28)
I was watching a video that said it was from someone called asket of the league of light. Wonder if they are tied into the galactic federation of light or a rebel group or a subgroup. She did mention a thing I disagree with, that earth is the home of those here. To me it feels like it's not my home, that I'm just here for a mission. my real home feels, elsewhere, or I may have more then one. perhaps where those dolphins are where there are those crystalline structures that sorta sing, but one quickly gets use to it where they can't here it anymore. or that may be one of several permanent homes I live at for various lengths of time. There may be a mission home I hang out at during a mission, or the soul or higher self/spirit, whatever and I may visit and stay at the dolphin crystal place for various lengths of time.
----------------------
think I'll just not bother to go back to capitalize something that should be if I missed it. I'll correct typos and misspellings, but not missed capitalization if I miss then the first time, to much of a bother.
--------------------
I did mentally say to shad and the dolphins and the dolphin guy if any of them wanted time with me to talk or something it would be ok.
had 2 interesting encounters in the white buffer space thing. is that an aspect of me, some sort of inner space somewhere, or something else? I don't know what or where it is. It is all white and I can make stuff appear there. Though the furniture is always white, never did try to change it's color. Food has color. gravity also only effects me as much as I want. i can lay back on nothing and remain in place. neat.
-----
the 2 encounters I had there were interesting. the first was shad, like happened before, was already there before I got there. We mainly had sex, speaking a bit. though it still felt a bit different. Like for him it was a bit more spiritual also and not physical, or maybe I'm becoming more aware of things. Though at some point I went to sleep so maybe it was for the first time I was able to experience being fully there instead of 10% there and 90% in this body.
First he looked like an anthro dolphin, then switched to a shark, then for the 3rd time back to a dolphin. Then he went off some distance saying he needed to rest and I could see him seemingly go to sleep in the distance.
------
after this the female dolphin appeared and I don't think we said a single thing to each other. it was as if we didn't need to. Though looking back at it later I did get the impression she was thinking something like, the wait is over, now is the first proper time in a while, something along those lines.
We shared our being, in a more soul/spirit sharing type sex. At the time it felt like we had done this very often, we were close enough to not need to talk all the time. Almost as if a lot of time had passed, but also no time at all, since we were last together. She was a dolphin looking form at first, switching to an anthro looking dolphin after a while. I switched to a dolphin form like she had after a bit. No idea how long this lasted that we shared our being, in what some may call a soul/spiritual type sex. it seemed to go on for a timeless amount of time. I did feel the kudalini responding and the usual type experience when souls share some of their very essence. hard to describe.
later after I awoke and had been awake for an hour or so i did send a question to her hoping we could do that again in the future, more then once and when she responded with a (certainly/yes). for some reason i felt, from the mental contact message she sent for some reason sent a wave of pleasure through my body and my kundalini started to resonate for a while.
Then a short time after this i had a 2nd question i sent to her. I asked her that when I am a separate soul with all (I was going to finish saying, of my soul parent's memories what would our relationship be, if it would change) but she interrupted with a: (then I'll have another.) with the same wave of pleasure wash through me from her message and my kundalini responding, for some reason. i got the same when I then kidding and half serious said to her, maybe then we can do a 3 some. I meant her, my soul aspect and myself once I'm a separate soul. I got the impression of her giggling at this, liking the idea and the same wash of pleasure and my kundalini responding. i do wonder why I get these 2 reactions when she contacted me those times.
------------------
I got an idea, not sure if it occurred to me or someone sent me the idea. Perhaps I'll learn more yoga postures and maybe study a bit of tai chi. I do have a small yoga book, and I'm sure I can find some good educational tai chi videos on youtube.
-------
watching a video and felt like the energy they were sending were a sort of fussy warm love type feel to it.
--------------
How to describe what the experience with her was like, the being that looks usually like a type of female dolphin. Sharing one's very being, which is what we did, sharing our very being with each other. Saying what we did was sharing soul/spirit sex isn't close, using the term that my immediate family call sharing is closer, sharing, intermingling energies, that is pleasurable, but the experience with her went far deeper. We didn't merge, wasn't our intent so that didn't happen, but we did share our being.
------------
got a fragment of a memory, don't recall if I was anthro, non anthro dolphin, or a humanoid. Maybe they can change the way they look. I was talking to 2 others, a female and male dolphin. the sky i didn't pay much attention to in the memory, but it didn't look like earth's sky. the water was maybe multi colored I think. I do remember various colors either the water, sky or both. maybe the sky was a darker color then earth, violet or something maybe. Not sure. i was focused on talking to the 2 and didn't fully look at the sky during the conversation.
-------------------------
I was thinking about her. Was she that soul i merged with that one time when I was over wherever that place is that I've projected to all those times? Also did she use to be a part of the same soul that I'm part of but choose to to be a separate soul with all of it's memories?
I also wonder about that dolphin guy. he would not admit to much. We are both aspects of the same oversoul, he is one of my guides for this next phase I'm in, whatever the next phase is, no one's telling me what it is. he did say I'm very close when i asked if he's my higher self, soul, or oversoul.
---------------------------
I was watching a video that said it was from someone called asket of the league of light. Wonder if they are tied into the galactic federation of light or a rebel group or a subgroup. She did mention a thing I disagree with, that earth is the home of those here. To me it feels like it's not my home, that I'm just here for a mission. my real home feels, elsewhere, or I may have more then one. perhaps where those dolphins are where there are those crystalline structures that sorta sing, but one quickly gets use to it where they can't here it anymore. or that may be one of several permanent homes I live at for various lengths of time. There may be a mission home I hang out at during a mission, or the soul or higher self/spirit, whatever and I may visit and stay at the dolphin crystal place for various lengths of time.
----------------------
think I'll just not bother to go back to capitalize something that should be if I missed it. I'll correct typos and misspellings, but not missed capitalization if I miss then the first time, to much of a bother.
--------------------
I did mentally say to shad and the dolphins and the dolphin guy if any of them wanted time with me to talk or something it would be ok.
had 2 interesting encounters in the white buffer space thing. is that an aspect of me, some sort of inner space somewhere, or something else? I don't know what or where it is. It is all white and I can make stuff appear there. Though the furniture is always white, never did try to change it's color. Food has color. gravity also only effects me as much as I want. i can lay back on nothing and remain in place. neat.
-----
the 2 encounters I had there were interesting. the first was shad, like happened before, was already there before I got there. We mainly had sex, speaking a bit. though it still felt a bit different. Like for him it was a bit more spiritual also and not physical, or maybe I'm becoming more aware of things. Though at some point I went to sleep so maybe it was for the first time I was able to experience being fully there instead of 10% there and 90% in this body.
First he looked like an anthro dolphin, then switched to a shark, then for the 3rd time back to a dolphin. Then he went off some distance saying he needed to rest and I could see him seemingly go to sleep in the distance.
------
after this the female dolphin appeared and I don't think we said a single thing to each other. it was as if we didn't need to. Though looking back at it later I did get the impression she was thinking something like, the wait is over, now is the first proper time in a while, something along those lines.
We shared our being, in a more soul/spirit sharing type sex. At the time it felt like we had done this very often, we were close enough to not need to talk all the time. Almost as if a lot of time had passed, but also no time at all, since we were last together. She was a dolphin looking form at first, switching to an anthro looking dolphin after a while. I switched to a dolphin form like she had after a bit. No idea how long this lasted that we shared our being, in what some may call a soul/spiritual type sex. it seemed to go on for a timeless amount of time. I did feel the kudalini responding and the usual type experience when souls share some of their very essence. hard to describe.
later after I awoke and had been awake for an hour or so i did send a question to her hoping we could do that again in the future, more then once and when she responded with a (certainly/yes). for some reason i felt, from the mental contact message she sent for some reason sent a wave of pleasure through my body and my kundalini started to resonate for a while.
Then a short time after this i had a 2nd question i sent to her. I asked her that when I am a separate soul with all (I was going to finish saying, of my soul parent's memories what would our relationship be, if it would change) but she interrupted with a: (then I'll have another.) with the same wave of pleasure wash through me from her message and my kundalini responding, for some reason. i got the same when I then kidding and half serious said to her, maybe then we can do a 3 some. I meant her, my soul aspect and myself once I'm a separate soul. I got the impression of her giggling at this, liking the idea and the same wash of pleasure and my kundalini responding. i do wonder why I get these 2 reactions when she contacted me those times.
------------------
I got an idea, not sure if it occurred to me or someone sent me the idea. Perhaps I'll learn more yoga postures and maybe study a bit of tai chi. I do have a small yoga book, and I'm sure I can find some good educational tai chi videos on youtube.
-------
watching a video and felt like the energy they were sending were a sort of fussy warm love type feel to it.
--------------
How to describe what the experience with her was like, the being that looks usually like a type of female dolphin. Sharing one's very being, which is what we did, sharing our very being with each other. Saying what we did was sharing soul/spirit sex isn't close, using the term that my immediate family call sharing is closer, sharing, intermingling energies, that is pleasurable, but the experience with her went far deeper. We didn't merge, wasn't our intent so that didn't happen, but we did share our being.
------------
got a fragment of a memory, don't recall if I was anthro, non anthro dolphin, or a humanoid. Maybe they can change the way they look. I was talking to 2 others, a female and male dolphin. the sky i didn't pay much attention to in the memory, but it didn't look like earth's sky. the water was maybe multi colored I think. I do remember various colors either the water, sky or both. maybe the sky was a darker color then earth, violet or something maybe. Not sure. i was focused on talking to the 2 and didn't fully look at the sky during the conversation.
-------------------------
I was thinking about her. Was she that soul i merged with that one time when I was over wherever that place is that I've projected to all those times? Also did she use to be a part of the same soul that I'm part of but choose to to be a separate soul with all of it's memories?
I also wonder about that dolphin guy. he would not admit to much. We are both aspects of the same oversoul, he is one of my guides for this next phase I'm in, whatever the next phase is, no one's telling me what it is. he did say I'm very close when i asked if he's my higher self, soul, or oversoul.
---------------------------
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
I AM
Got the idea from a video I watched on youtube. Still no idea why videos pop up from this or that subgroup of the federation of light, this or that archangel of the federation of light or once the galactic federation. and apparently I'm working with 1 or more cosmic or multidimensional non earth dolphins. Cool but no idea why me. Though I am missing something obvious with this and dolphins & cetaceans being so common in my recent mystical experiences.
I'll try to list facts about myself that I think are below or outside the programming & conditioning.
I'm a soul (or whatever the proper term is) that is a multidimensional being with an immortal lifespan.
I'll be able to choose to be an independent soul with all of my soul parent's memories. Thus both a new & old soul at the same time.
Love/joy is part of my being.
I'm a sexual being, though sexual in the soul/spiritual upper planes sense, not the human connotations. and not to the extreme that some upper plane soul are, though i do have some of those as friends.
I'm not an earth soul, though i have visited earth in the past and been a guide once, or so some multidimensional dolphins said.
My soul has incarnated on various worlds, systems, galaxies, not restricting myself to one world, ect, ect.
I came here to experience awakening, as well as anchor some sort of energy for some waves who would come after me. Though I choose to be very early 2nd wave instead of first since this would take some or a little of the brunt off of the incarnate since he would be my first incarnate on earth.
I have some sort of very very strong connection to multidimensional dolphins. (cool)
I'm integrating with my shadow aspect who is named Shaddington, nicknamed by me Shad, and he doesn't mind the nickname. I trust we are still integrating and it has not stopped.
I am still trying to keep going between my thoughts and remain there as well as try to get aware and increase my awareness that I'm not just this incarnation in a human body. I intellectually know, but as of yet am unable to feel or experience being more, like being the shadow aspect, being the soul with separate aspects I want to integrate with.
I have no idea how or what to do to increase what I'm doing or if I am doing well and doing the best and fastest I can do.
It seems I've had some sort of very very close special relationship with a soul/being that is usually in a dolphin form.
I'll try to list facts about myself that I think are below or outside the programming & conditioning.
I'm a soul (or whatever the proper term is) that is a multidimensional being with an immortal lifespan.
I'll be able to choose to be an independent soul with all of my soul parent's memories. Thus both a new & old soul at the same time.
Love/joy is part of my being.
I'm a sexual being, though sexual in the soul/spiritual upper planes sense, not the human connotations. and not to the extreme that some upper plane soul are, though i do have some of those as friends.
I'm not an earth soul, though i have visited earth in the past and been a guide once, or so some multidimensional dolphins said.
My soul has incarnated on various worlds, systems, galaxies, not restricting myself to one world, ect, ect.
I came here to experience awakening, as well as anchor some sort of energy for some waves who would come after me. Though I choose to be very early 2nd wave instead of first since this would take some or a little of the brunt off of the incarnate since he would be my first incarnate on earth.
I have some sort of very very strong connection to multidimensional dolphins. (cool)
I'm integrating with my shadow aspect who is named Shaddington, nicknamed by me Shad, and he doesn't mind the nickname. I trust we are still integrating and it has not stopped.
I am still trying to keep going between my thoughts and remain there as well as try to get aware and increase my awareness that I'm not just this incarnation in a human body. I intellectually know, but as of yet am unable to feel or experience being more, like being the shadow aspect, being the soul with separate aspects I want to integrate with.
I have no idea how or what to do to increase what I'm doing or if I am doing well and doing the best and fastest I can do.
It seems I've had some sort of very very close special relationship with a soul/being that is usually in a dolphin form.
Tuesday [1-27]
This was a lucid dream and towards the end the body woke up but part of me was still there so I thought I'd post it in my dream thread and here also. Didn't realize the length of it.
not sure how this one started. From what I can remember it took place in what looked like it had crystalline structures of various colors. Like what i call the soul realms (no idea what it is really or where), where the colors seem alive, & the colors here are pale dead imitations by comparison. I didn't remember much, just a bit, but i did ask if I could have help remembering this as I typed.
As I recall there was a type of ? singing or tone? ? crystal singing? were the crystals singing in a thing you are not aware of unless you really try to listen to it. Like a thing you quickly get unaware of since you feel or hear it all the time.
There was a group of what looked like dolphins before me. I don't recall the exact number and the dialog will perhaps not be in order. and the exact dialog may not be written down right, but the general gist will be correct.
----------------------
I look around and recognize it, some part of me does. "I've been here ? before ?"
One of the dolphins: "this certainly isn't your first time here. You've spend time here on this side of things."
-------------------
Me: "At least some of you are .... sonic ?engineers?, not the exact term. and I do know you somehow." I said, I did feel I knew them somehow but couldn't remember exactly how.
Dolphin:"accessing that bit of your soul knowledge excellent."
----
"i've been here, sometimes for more then short visits. ? long visits? living here for periods of time? Not as a sonic engineer or healer..." I say not exactly sure where i'm going.
another dolphin: "actually you were usually ...." it starts to say but gets the equivalent of an elbow nudge.
another one: "Yes, you have lived here as one of us before."
me looking at that one dolphin that seemed to almost let something slip. "that wasn't really you almost letting something slip was it. it was some sort of test?" i said concentrating on him.
that dolphin: "maybe."
----------------
me: "My soul aspect said it's incarnated on various worlds, doesn't restrict itself to one world, system, galaxy or universe. A wanderer I guess."
Dolphin: "not a wanderer nor a nomad. Usually you go where the mission takes you to. The mission you pick that is. Though no one does just missions all the time."
-------------------------
"and I guess you can look like however you like here?"
Dolphin: "due to where we are and the dynamics and properties of this area/place certainly. These forms are more comfortable to use and many of us have had forms similar to this in most of our incarnations. We're not limited to 1 form or appearance unlike those in the 3rd dimension such as you humans are."
Me: "I'm not a human. I am incarnated in the body of one, but I'm not a human."
Another dolphin: "non assimilation is to be expected. He is not a human soul after all. & this is his first time incarnating as a human."
yet another one: "yes, he's visited earth before, but never incarnated there, till now."
yet another one: "though he has been a guide before to at least 1 person on earth before."
----------------------
I then look at one of the dolphins, feeling a stronger connection and recognition with ? her ? then the others.
"I do know you, a stronger connection then with most of those here." I say to her.
Female dolphin: "you feel our stronger connection. That is a good sign indeed." She says as she comes up to put her hands or flippers on my shoulders (not sure which she did).
me: "You were my mother in at least 1 incarnation".... I say, an image appearing, "not necessarily in a form like this... humanoid, skin not dark blue... light or medium."
female dolphin: "ah, the veil thins. yes, one of the races of sirius."
me: "not always as mother, but in other ways and forms. at least once in bodies that look like yours."
female dolphin: "yes, and at least once I was one of your guides. We've shared many relationships."
--------------
I can see that pretending to almost let something slip being a pre arranged thing. Like one of them saying something like "hey, i'll pretend to let something slip and one of you stop me before I do." and maybe another saying, that won't work, he'll be able to tell. maybe the first one saying something next like, let it be a sort of test.
and that one referring to me as a human. Looking back at the scene I think he did it on purpose, another test perhaps. I say he but except for the one dolphin that did feel female to me, the others I'm not sure, maybe androgynous? Didn't think of it at the time and really it's not important.
-------------------------------
Had another dream this afternoon. It was of a type of mediation I may try. I was mentally saying to myself "I love myself." I've done it before, but I've not felt anything happening. Though the effects may be more below the surface.
Then I did another type, a visualization. In this type of meditation I visualized the different aspects of myself being drawn towards each other, and at the same time there was a circle around the aspects, and as the aspects were drawing each other towards each other. The circle was decreasing in size, also pushing them towards each other.
Not sure what this means, but I'll try these 2. and I'll also try adding them together and saying to myself "I love myself." as I do the visualization, see if anything happens.
-------------------------
I forgot, when I woke up I felt a strong resonating along from the end of my spine all the way to the top of the spine. Along the entire length. No idea what was up with that.
i tried the mediation but it didn't seem to do anything. Also likely unrelated i do feel a pain in my abdominal area, no idea why. no biggie I guess.
-------------------------------------------
? is the being I called soul aspect really my higher self? What is the difference between higher self, soul, and spirit.
? who and what is that dolphin guy to me?
? am I doing perfectly, not to well, or is there a way to progress faster along the path of integrating and fully awakening?
------------------------------------
Think maybe another impression of a memory popped up. THink I may meditate on this later.
It was about the dolphins I encountered in wherever that place is I mentioned before is. ? I've been a member of them before? Or I spend time as a member of their group at times?
-----------------
This was a lucid dream and towards the end the body woke up but part of me was still there so I thought I'd post it in my dream thread and here also. Didn't realize the length of it.
not sure how this one started. From what I can remember it took place in what looked like it had crystalline structures of various colors. Like what i call the soul realms (no idea what it is really or where), where the colors seem alive, & the colors here are pale dead imitations by comparison. I didn't remember much, just a bit, but i did ask if I could have help remembering this as I typed.
As I recall there was a type of ? singing or tone? ? crystal singing? were the crystals singing in a thing you are not aware of unless you really try to listen to it. Like a thing you quickly get unaware of since you feel or hear it all the time.
There was a group of what looked like dolphins before me. I don't recall the exact number and the dialog will perhaps not be in order. and the exact dialog may not be written down right, but the general gist will be correct.
----------------------
I look around and recognize it, some part of me does. "I've been here ? before ?"
One of the dolphins: "this certainly isn't your first time here. You've spend time here on this side of things."
-------------------
Me: "At least some of you are .... sonic ?engineers?, not the exact term. and I do know you somehow." I said, I did feel I knew them somehow but couldn't remember exactly how.
Dolphin:"accessing that bit of your soul knowledge excellent."
----
"i've been here, sometimes for more then short visits. ? long visits? living here for periods of time? Not as a sonic engineer or healer..." I say not exactly sure where i'm going.
another dolphin: "actually you were usually ...." it starts to say but gets the equivalent of an elbow nudge.
another one: "Yes, you have lived here as one of us before."
me looking at that one dolphin that seemed to almost let something slip. "that wasn't really you almost letting something slip was it. it was some sort of test?" i said concentrating on him.
that dolphin: "maybe."
----------------
me: "My soul aspect said it's incarnated on various worlds, doesn't restrict itself to one world, system, galaxy or universe. A wanderer I guess."
Dolphin: "not a wanderer nor a nomad. Usually you go where the mission takes you to. The mission you pick that is. Though no one does just missions all the time."
-------------------------
"and I guess you can look like however you like here?"
Dolphin: "due to where we are and the dynamics and properties of this area/place certainly. These forms are more comfortable to use and many of us have had forms similar to this in most of our incarnations. We're not limited to 1 form or appearance unlike those in the 3rd dimension such as you humans are."
Me: "I'm not a human. I am incarnated in the body of one, but I'm not a human."
Another dolphin: "non assimilation is to be expected. He is not a human soul after all. & this is his first time incarnating as a human."
yet another one: "yes, he's visited earth before, but never incarnated there, till now."
yet another one: "though he has been a guide before to at least 1 person on earth before."
----------------------
I then look at one of the dolphins, feeling a stronger connection and recognition with ? her ? then the others.
"I do know you, a stronger connection then with most of those here." I say to her.
Female dolphin: "you feel our stronger connection. That is a good sign indeed." She says as she comes up to put her hands or flippers on my shoulders (not sure which she did).
me: "You were my mother in at least 1 incarnation".... I say, an image appearing, "not necessarily in a form like this... humanoid, skin not dark blue... light or medium."
female dolphin: "ah, the veil thins. yes, one of the races of sirius."
me: "not always as mother, but in other ways and forms. at least once in bodies that look like yours."
female dolphin: "yes, and at least once I was one of your guides. We've shared many relationships."
--------------
I can see that pretending to almost let something slip being a pre arranged thing. Like one of them saying something like "hey, i'll pretend to let something slip and one of you stop me before I do." and maybe another saying, that won't work, he'll be able to tell. maybe the first one saying something next like, let it be a sort of test.
and that one referring to me as a human. Looking back at the scene I think he did it on purpose, another test perhaps. I say he but except for the one dolphin that did feel female to me, the others I'm not sure, maybe androgynous? Didn't think of it at the time and really it's not important.
-------------------------------
Had another dream this afternoon. It was of a type of mediation I may try. I was mentally saying to myself "I love myself." I've done it before, but I've not felt anything happening. Though the effects may be more below the surface.
Then I did another type, a visualization. In this type of meditation I visualized the different aspects of myself being drawn towards each other, and at the same time there was a circle around the aspects, and as the aspects were drawing each other towards each other. The circle was decreasing in size, also pushing them towards each other.
Not sure what this means, but I'll try these 2. and I'll also try adding them together and saying to myself "I love myself." as I do the visualization, see if anything happens.
-------------------------
I forgot, when I woke up I felt a strong resonating along from the end of my spine all the way to the top of the spine. Along the entire length. No idea what was up with that.
i tried the mediation but it didn't seem to do anything. Also likely unrelated i do feel a pain in my abdominal area, no idea why. no biggie I guess.
-------------------------------------------
? is the being I called soul aspect really my higher self? What is the difference between higher self, soul, and spirit.
? who and what is that dolphin guy to me?
? am I doing perfectly, not to well, or is there a way to progress faster along the path of integrating and fully awakening?
------------------------------------
Think maybe another impression of a memory popped up. THink I may meditate on this later.
It was about the dolphins I encountered in wherever that place is I mentioned before is. ? I've been a member of them before? Or I spend time as a member of their group at times?
-----------------
Monday, January 26, 2015
I still wonder if all the dolphins in my recent mystic experiences mean anything. shadow aspect looking like an anthro one. In the buffer space place I was one. That dolphin in that white place with crystalline structure. and videos showing up on my suggested to watch thing including some from galactic federation of light, or I guess certain subgroups of them. If any of this is meaningful I'm missing it. No biggie.
---------------------------------------------------
Was being between my thoughts while preparing a small meal when I got a message, I guess it was one. First it was a mental image of the dolphin saying: "you're missing" then some other male mental voice, or was it the dolphin changing the way his mental voice sounded, whichever it is it finished the sentence, "the obvious." I went between a short time later and got the same mental image of that dolphin with a mental giggling like he was enjoying some joke i was missing. then just as i was typing this the same dolphin smiling humorously. the same one from whatever that white place is with crystalline structures. Think I got the feeling he can change his appearance to have a more anthro appearance or do that with parts of his body but doesn't usually bother? I'm still missing the obvious, no biggie, seems someone somewhere is getting a laugh out of it.
--------------
Just had a strange experience while I was eating. I felt a presence appear behind me. I asked Shad if it as him but he said no it wasn't him. I tried to feel the presence, it felt vaguely dolphin shaped, sort of like my ability to feel is very blunt, crude, and not very well done at present. maybe that dolphin I have seen before over there and that sent me the 2 messages? It felt like it had arms. it rested a hand on each shoulder. I felt a strange sensation. Sorta like there is an energy body inside this physical body just below the skin and it shook or part of it shook or that was the sensation. Kundalini did grow warm just after this for a minute or so. then a few minutes after this I felt some sort of energy burst from inside me somewhere and ripple through my body quickly. odd, I wonder what all that was about.
-------------------
Hmm, wonder if this is part of the next phase. I felt some sort of energy wash or pour in from above and into my body. It has left me feeling like I'm resonating and feel warmer. I do wonder what is going on, out of curiosity.
And yet another burst from within that washed over all through my body, more potent then the previous one.
------------------------
I do wonder if my fully awakening, getting to an abiding awakening is not one of the main reasons I'm here, but a side reason that will happen regardless of what I do. If my main reasons for being here maybe are to anchor the energy for the new indigo folks. And maybe to help the collective, so to speak as well.
-----------------
I am also wondering, like I was before, if the one I called soul aspect was that. was he maybe my higher self and the dolphin guy is my soul, or is he my spirit, and what is the difference between higher self, soul and spirit. and just who and what is the dolphin guy, & what is the next phase he mentioned.
---------------------------
Had an interesting thing happen. I was getting ready to lay down to rest or take a nap when Shad said to me "the dolphin dude wants to talk to you next." wasn't expecting that. Wonder if it's symbolic or something Shad telling me instead of the dolphin guy. I did ask Shad if he knew who the dolphin guy was he said he's not telling. I asked, but you do know. He said with a bit of humor to his mental voice, "yes, but I'm not telling."
I then lay down down to rest and mentally said to the dolphin, "If you want to talk to me i do give you permission to either partially pull me out or whatever like you did yesterday, or to do it fully so I can concentrate on our conversation fully. I relaxed and at some point I was in some place just the 2 of us, it seemed an all black place. I'll try to recreate our conversation as much as i can below. he did give a bit more info, but was also being evasive. I may not remember the exact order my questions were in but that is ok.
....................
I look around a bit. "So what is this place?" i ask.
Dolphin guy: "it's an inbetween sort of place."
....................
"I do hope I can remember this for later." I say.
Dolphin: "you'll remember at lest the general gist, which is the important thing." (not sure he may have said part instead of thing.)
.......................
No reason why I asked him if he's of he light, the question just popped out without my knowing why.
Dolphin (giggles a bit as i recall) : "i'm as much of the light as you are." Guess that means he is? I remember, and had forgotten before, no idea when but i asked Shad that, also with no idea of why i did and forgot i had. Shad had answered that he wanted to be of the light.
........................
"So just who and what are you?"
Dolphin: "what do you think and feel?"
.............................
I reached out to touch him with my right hand and feel my kundalini start to resonate as well as my hand. Also faintly like we're mingling energies somehow.
Dolphin: "you can feel your kundalini responding, what does that mean to you?"
.........................
"It recognizes you." I said.
Dolphin: "yes."
......................
"It knows who and what you are." I say further.
Dolphin: "yes."
..................................
"Are we both aspects of the same oversoul?" i ask, figuring I'll not get a clear answer from exactly who and what he is.
Dolphin: "yes."
"are you a guide?" I ask him.
............................
.....He doesn't answer but I get the answer that it's sorta yes/no, he can't really answer that question the way I phrased it.
"are you here to be one of my guides during this next phase thing you mentioned?"
Dolphin: "yes."
...............................
"are you another aspect of me. My oversoul, spirit, soul or something a few steps, or more, so to speak, from me?" I ask.
the dolphin put his hands on my shoulders, or I had the impression he did. maybe he can shapeshift. "you are very close to the truth, closer then you know." he said.
.........................
"are you me?" I ask.
Dolphin does like waving his arms: "All are me." he says. I think meaning everyone is really separate identities of each other, or of the one, depending on how one wants to phrase it.
.....................................
"are you and I going to integrate like Shad and I are doing now?"
Dolphin: "not exactly. Not in the same way that your shadow aspect and you are integrating but we'll eventually do something something similar. But you need to mainly focus on integrating with your shadow aspect. We'll be doing some stuff mainly behind the scenes, so to speak, but you'll know and feel some stuff we are doing at times."
..................................
"You could be an aspect sent by the oversoul specifically to help me during this phase or part."
Dolphin (he smiled mischievously): "I could have been."
...........................
"Will I ever know who and what you are?"
Dolphin: "certainly you will."
................................
"within a year?"
Dolphin: "Maybe, depends."
..........................
"before this incarnation ends?"
Dolphin: "certainly."
..........................
"There is a strong connection of some sort. I do feel some sexual desire with regards to you, but less then with Shad. It could be that that is due to this phase i should focus on integrating on Shad and other stuff takes a secondary roll to that, for now. and right I think that is why my sex desire is currently mainly tied into only other aspects of me."
Dolphin: "That should be your primary focus for now. And you have come across another bit of information concerning me." and he smiles.
do wonder how if I conjure a glass of liquid to awaken me it works. Though I can't taste it much. Or is it just placebo?
--------------------
Also got what i think is a message from the dolphin guy who said he can shapeshift and i got an image of a dolphin that was all silver like a mirror.
------------
maybe being to self critical, thinking I am not any better at going and remaining between my thoughts and when I do think trying to think in the concept or intent rather then using words.
maybe I'll be fully awake eventually regardless of what I do. It may be more of a side effect of what I'm doing and what is being done to me and why I'm here, rather then the main focus. I do hope i will be fully awaken & have a abiding awakening, if the path I'm on is where that'll eventually happen and I'll be as fully integrated as possible.
-------------------
Not sure if what happened is a daydream or not. Shad said it did happen. Sorta odd thing. I was feeling a bit out of it and thought Shad said the dolphin dude wanted me for something, while I was watching The Brony Show Livestream.
I mentally said ok, you can take me out fully or partially if so. I sat back in the chair and relaxed while listening to the brony show and closed my eyes part way through this. It seemed like to me it took less then a minute, no idea how long it really took.
I was somewhere else. I still wonder how can that dolphin guy just have me be partially or fully somewhere else? How does that work?
Anyway I was somewhere where there were some large crystals around me. I had the impression of some ? dolphins ? nearby doing some sort of sonic, or ? singing? and the crystals around me were starting to resonate in response. I was in a ? booth or something with large crystals? I only had a moment to see it since then i saw the dolphin guy from before. For some reason my attention was drawn to his eyes and that is all I could see was just his eyes. He said something like "relax." then the next moment I know I'm in another room.
Looking around I saw a another, but his form was indistinct and I couldn't see it very well. I knew him/her? from somewhere, I knew it. I pointed at the figure saying, "i know you, but why can't I see you very well?"
the figure answered: "The reason you can't see me very well is because....." the figure went on with an explanation for a sentence, but I can't recall that was said. Then I was back in this body fully wondering if that really happened or I just daydreamed it. Shad said it really happened and I'd have another treatment later, that was just a short one.
Strange. What happened, if it did happen and why? What sort of being can pull folks partially or fully where they are. Partially I guess is since I'm multidimensional. But how does he pull me partially or fully there and what kind of being an do that. And why is Shad the one who tells me when he wants to see me and the dolphin guy doesn't contact me. I think a few minutes later my body did start to slightly resonate. My lower half of the body more then the upper half for some reason. Odd, if it did happen. Though before it happened I was mentally out of it and afterwards I was mentally alert in less then a minute. So I'll just have faith whatever it was did happen.
----------------------
---------------------------------------------------
Was being between my thoughts while preparing a small meal when I got a message, I guess it was one. First it was a mental image of the dolphin saying: "you're missing" then some other male mental voice, or was it the dolphin changing the way his mental voice sounded, whichever it is it finished the sentence, "the obvious." I went between a short time later and got the same mental image of that dolphin with a mental giggling like he was enjoying some joke i was missing. then just as i was typing this the same dolphin smiling humorously. the same one from whatever that white place is with crystalline structures. Think I got the feeling he can change his appearance to have a more anthro appearance or do that with parts of his body but doesn't usually bother? I'm still missing the obvious, no biggie, seems someone somewhere is getting a laugh out of it.
--------------
Just had a strange experience while I was eating. I felt a presence appear behind me. I asked Shad if it as him but he said no it wasn't him. I tried to feel the presence, it felt vaguely dolphin shaped, sort of like my ability to feel is very blunt, crude, and not very well done at present. maybe that dolphin I have seen before over there and that sent me the 2 messages? It felt like it had arms. it rested a hand on each shoulder. I felt a strange sensation. Sorta like there is an energy body inside this physical body just below the skin and it shook or part of it shook or that was the sensation. Kundalini did grow warm just after this for a minute or so. then a few minutes after this I felt some sort of energy burst from inside me somewhere and ripple through my body quickly. odd, I wonder what all that was about.
-------------------
Hmm, wonder if this is part of the next phase. I felt some sort of energy wash or pour in from above and into my body. It has left me feeling like I'm resonating and feel warmer. I do wonder what is going on, out of curiosity.
And yet another burst from within that washed over all through my body, more potent then the previous one.
------------------------
I do wonder if my fully awakening, getting to an abiding awakening is not one of the main reasons I'm here, but a side reason that will happen regardless of what I do. If my main reasons for being here maybe are to anchor the energy for the new indigo folks. And maybe to help the collective, so to speak as well.
-----------------
I am also wondering, like I was before, if the one I called soul aspect was that. was he maybe my higher self and the dolphin guy is my soul, or is he my spirit, and what is the difference between higher self, soul and spirit. and just who and what is the dolphin guy, & what is the next phase he mentioned.
---------------------------
Had an interesting thing happen. I was getting ready to lay down to rest or take a nap when Shad said to me "the dolphin dude wants to talk to you next." wasn't expecting that. Wonder if it's symbolic or something Shad telling me instead of the dolphin guy. I did ask Shad if he knew who the dolphin guy was he said he's not telling. I asked, but you do know. He said with a bit of humor to his mental voice, "yes, but I'm not telling."
I then lay down down to rest and mentally said to the dolphin, "If you want to talk to me i do give you permission to either partially pull me out or whatever like you did yesterday, or to do it fully so I can concentrate on our conversation fully. I relaxed and at some point I was in some place just the 2 of us, it seemed an all black place. I'll try to recreate our conversation as much as i can below. he did give a bit more info, but was also being evasive. I may not remember the exact order my questions were in but that is ok.
....................
I look around a bit. "So what is this place?" i ask.
Dolphin guy: "it's an inbetween sort of place."
....................
"I do hope I can remember this for later." I say.
Dolphin: "you'll remember at lest the general gist, which is the important thing." (not sure he may have said part instead of thing.)
.......................
No reason why I asked him if he's of he light, the question just popped out without my knowing why.
Dolphin (giggles a bit as i recall) : "i'm as much of the light as you are." Guess that means he is? I remember, and had forgotten before, no idea when but i asked Shad that, also with no idea of why i did and forgot i had. Shad had answered that he wanted to be of the light.
........................
"So just who and what are you?"
Dolphin: "what do you think and feel?"
.............................
I reached out to touch him with my right hand and feel my kundalini start to resonate as well as my hand. Also faintly like we're mingling energies somehow.
Dolphin: "you can feel your kundalini responding, what does that mean to you?"
.........................
"It recognizes you." I said.
Dolphin: "yes."
......................
"It knows who and what you are." I say further.
Dolphin: "yes."
..................................
"Are we both aspects of the same oversoul?" i ask, figuring I'll not get a clear answer from exactly who and what he is.
Dolphin: "yes."
"are you a guide?" I ask him.
............................
.....He doesn't answer but I get the answer that it's sorta yes/no, he can't really answer that question the way I phrased it.
"are you here to be one of my guides during this next phase thing you mentioned?"
Dolphin: "yes."
...............................
"are you another aspect of me. My oversoul, spirit, soul or something a few steps, or more, so to speak, from me?" I ask.
the dolphin put his hands on my shoulders, or I had the impression he did. maybe he can shapeshift. "you are very close to the truth, closer then you know." he said.
.........................
"are you me?" I ask.
Dolphin does like waving his arms: "All are me." he says. I think meaning everyone is really separate identities of each other, or of the one, depending on how one wants to phrase it.
.....................................
"are you and I going to integrate like Shad and I are doing now?"
Dolphin: "not exactly. Not in the same way that your shadow aspect and you are integrating but we'll eventually do something something similar. But you need to mainly focus on integrating with your shadow aspect. We'll be doing some stuff mainly behind the scenes, so to speak, but you'll know and feel some stuff we are doing at times."
..................................
"You could be an aspect sent by the oversoul specifically to help me during this phase or part."
Dolphin (he smiled mischievously): "I could have been."
...........................
"Will I ever know who and what you are?"
Dolphin: "certainly you will."
................................
"within a year?"
Dolphin: "Maybe, depends."
..........................
"before this incarnation ends?"
Dolphin: "certainly."
..........................
"There is a strong connection of some sort. I do feel some sexual desire with regards to you, but less then with Shad. It could be that that is due to this phase i should focus on integrating on Shad and other stuff takes a secondary roll to that, for now. and right I think that is why my sex desire is currently mainly tied into only other aspects of me."
Dolphin: "That should be your primary focus for now. And you have come across another bit of information concerning me." and he smiles.
do wonder how if I conjure a glass of liquid to awaken me it works. Though I can't taste it much. Or is it just placebo?
--------------------
Also got what i think is a message from the dolphin guy who said he can shapeshift and i got an image of a dolphin that was all silver like a mirror.
------------
maybe being to self critical, thinking I am not any better at going and remaining between my thoughts and when I do think trying to think in the concept or intent rather then using words.
maybe I'll be fully awake eventually regardless of what I do. It may be more of a side effect of what I'm doing and what is being done to me and why I'm here, rather then the main focus. I do hope i will be fully awaken & have a abiding awakening, if the path I'm on is where that'll eventually happen and I'll be as fully integrated as possible.
-------------------
Not sure if what happened is a daydream or not. Shad said it did happen. Sorta odd thing. I was feeling a bit out of it and thought Shad said the dolphin dude wanted me for something, while I was watching The Brony Show Livestream.
I mentally said ok, you can take me out fully or partially if so. I sat back in the chair and relaxed while listening to the brony show and closed my eyes part way through this. It seemed like to me it took less then a minute, no idea how long it really took.
I was somewhere else. I still wonder how can that dolphin guy just have me be partially or fully somewhere else? How does that work?
Anyway I was somewhere where there were some large crystals around me. I had the impression of some ? dolphins ? nearby doing some sort of sonic, or ? singing? and the crystals around me were starting to resonate in response. I was in a ? booth or something with large crystals? I only had a moment to see it since then i saw the dolphin guy from before. For some reason my attention was drawn to his eyes and that is all I could see was just his eyes. He said something like "relax." then the next moment I know I'm in another room.
Looking around I saw a another, but his form was indistinct and I couldn't see it very well. I knew him/her? from somewhere, I knew it. I pointed at the figure saying, "i know you, but why can't I see you very well?"
the figure answered: "The reason you can't see me very well is because....." the figure went on with an explanation for a sentence, but I can't recall that was said. Then I was back in this body fully wondering if that really happened or I just daydreamed it. Shad said it really happened and I'd have another treatment later, that was just a short one.
Strange. What happened, if it did happen and why? What sort of being can pull folks partially or fully where they are. Partially I guess is since I'm multidimensional. But how does he pull me partially or fully there and what kind of being an do that. And why is Shad the one who tells me when he wants to see me and the dolphin guy doesn't contact me. I think a few minutes later my body did start to slightly resonate. My lower half of the body more then the upper half for some reason. Odd, if it did happen. Though before it happened I was mentally out of it and afterwards I was mentally alert in less then a minute. So I'll just have faith whatever it was did happen.
----------------------
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Sunday (2) 1-25
Very interesting experiences I've had today. I do wonder what they mean. I also wonder what that all white bright white crystalline place really is, is it a plane or something. Also is the male dolphin there, or he looked pretty much like a dolphin, as i said above, is he a guide of mine, a guide of my soul aspect, some immediate family member, some aspect of mine?
Wonder if the reason Shad looks like an anthro dolphin and was in the buffer space a sign his vibration is higher then it was before, and or if we've absorbed some traits from each other, or we have integrated past a certain point so his appearance changed and he get go to the buffer space anytime he wants.
-------------------------
Hmm, wonder if it's chance or not. But on youtube lately sometimes there have been short videos popping upon my what to watch that are I guess channeled messages to different people who post messages that say they are from something called the galactic federation of light. Sometimes they'll add into the title this or that group. I've watched a few of them. not sure if someone is trying to give me a message of some sort. If I had to guess what the message is I'd guess either I have some connection to whatever the galactic federation of light is, and or one of the sub groups, or since the messages have been mainly positive, that I'm doing well and continue as I'm doing. or if it's multiple messages.
-----------------------------------
I was thinking of the dolphin. I do wonder if he is another aspect I don't know of, higher self, soul or spirit. I don't know if the 3 are interchangeable or not. Just like what I've been calling my soul aspect, is that what it is, or is it one of the other 2, spirit or higher self, and just what is the difference between those 3?
There is some connection there, kinda annoying and that I feel it like the tip of my tongue, and there is some connection there. Not a weak connection, maybe a strong one, a medium one?
Also why do dolphins and cetaceans keep popping up recently. Not that I mind, just curious. if it is symbolic, or means something.
--------------------------
Went to the white space, still don't feel like I'm there much when I am there. Felt like I was less there then before. Guess I'm loosing my awareness and getting worst. Shad was there before I was there. The encounter left me a bit of a discomfort in my throat that is pretty quickly passing and i was feeling like i was resonating all over my entire body. I lost the experience and was fully here. Though with the feeling of resonating all over and all through my body and the slight discomfiture in my throat. But as I type sentence, taking over 5 attempts to get the typos out. It feels basically back to normal.
-----------------------
The large ships, or many ships leaving some world. yesterday got a bit more from the stabilizing the nuclear furnace of a star. stellar engineers. One thing they can do is delay or lengthen a star's life by a certain amount, say by a million years or less, and it can be done for a number of reasons, like a promising race given more time to get up to interstellar travel technology, or other reasons. it takes a certain number of ships positioned at certain points around a star... not sure if details nor where any of this is coming from.
Non human figures, but I still can't clearly see them, though some have eyes that are a bit larger then humans and a bit farther apart.
? dolphin or dolphin type beings with some sort of sonic technology? can shapeshift?
I was also thinking that I've not lost the love/joy and the feeling of love being sent from somewhere. It's a natural part of me that I don't realize it. Though i do get other emotions too that are at times on top of this.
-----------------------
I wonder how long till I get into 5d fully. and how long till I"m fully awake.
-----------------------
Very interesting experiences I've had today. I do wonder what they mean. I also wonder what that all white bright white crystalline place really is, is it a plane or something. Also is the male dolphin there, or he looked pretty much like a dolphin, as i said above, is he a guide of mine, a guide of my soul aspect, some immediate family member, some aspect of mine?
Wonder if the reason Shad looks like an anthro dolphin and was in the buffer space a sign his vibration is higher then it was before, and or if we've absorbed some traits from each other, or we have integrated past a certain point so his appearance changed and he get go to the buffer space anytime he wants.
-------------------------
Hmm, wonder if it's chance or not. But on youtube lately sometimes there have been short videos popping upon my what to watch that are I guess channeled messages to different people who post messages that say they are from something called the galactic federation of light. Sometimes they'll add into the title this or that group. I've watched a few of them. not sure if someone is trying to give me a message of some sort. If I had to guess what the message is I'd guess either I have some connection to whatever the galactic federation of light is, and or one of the sub groups, or since the messages have been mainly positive, that I'm doing well and continue as I'm doing. or if it's multiple messages.
-----------------------------------
I was thinking of the dolphin. I do wonder if he is another aspect I don't know of, higher self, soul or spirit. I don't know if the 3 are interchangeable or not. Just like what I've been calling my soul aspect, is that what it is, or is it one of the other 2, spirit or higher self, and just what is the difference between those 3?
There is some connection there, kinda annoying and that I feel it like the tip of my tongue, and there is some connection there. Not a weak connection, maybe a strong one, a medium one?
Also why do dolphins and cetaceans keep popping up recently. Not that I mind, just curious. if it is symbolic, or means something.
--------------------------
Went to the white space, still don't feel like I'm there much when I am there. Felt like I was less there then before. Guess I'm loosing my awareness and getting worst. Shad was there before I was there. The encounter left me a bit of a discomfort in my throat that is pretty quickly passing and i was feeling like i was resonating all over my entire body. I lost the experience and was fully here. Though with the feeling of resonating all over and all through my body and the slight discomfiture in my throat. But as I type sentence, taking over 5 attempts to get the typos out. It feels basically back to normal.
-----------------------
Interesting I tried to do the light body
activation and crystal chakra cleansing. it seems Shad was effected as
well, more strongly then I was. Funny thing was during the guided
meditation he gave a running commentary. During part of it i did feel
like this body was resonating, but Shad, who felt like he was very
close, behind and to one side, felt like he was resonating even more
strongly then I was. I think from his commentary he liked it. During
part of it he hugged me which got me to start resonating again.
Overall an interesting experience. Extra benefit that he was there, as
well as liking it and having some sort of beneficial effect on him. His
commentaries added a lot of humor to the experience. ;)
------------
------------
------------------
Can't edit the encounter I had in the white space before this entry. I forgot to put in that he gave me what looked like a fish to eat. It looked like a normal fish, but had no bones. He said it as a purgative. guess to help remove some negative stuff. Also he looked like he was a dark color, then changed to have more of the coloring close to that of a common dolphin. I was able to briefly switch viewpoints to see through his eyes, he didn't seem to mind my doing that. I did that and saw I was an anthro dolphin that was mainly a dark black sorta color, but had some white on. the Black seemed to come to a point on the sides of the chest, so to speak. Don't recall the rest of the pattern. I'd say from my memory overall I was half white and half some dark maybe black color. It was some very dark color. Though in an interesting pattern. I could have been indigo or midnight blue or some other very dark color like that.
I tried to make food appear and at the same time it was a fish and angel food with vanilla frosting, like it was multi dimensional and had the same looks both at once. I'm less aware maybe since both had no taste to me.
-------------------
More soul memories, or am I tapping into some data files? No idea where this is coming from.Can't edit the encounter I had in the white space before this entry. I forgot to put in that he gave me what looked like a fish to eat. It looked like a normal fish, but had no bones. He said it as a purgative. guess to help remove some negative stuff. Also he looked like he was a dark color, then changed to have more of the coloring close to that of a common dolphin. I was able to briefly switch viewpoints to see through his eyes, he didn't seem to mind my doing that. I did that and saw I was an anthro dolphin that was mainly a dark black sorta color, but had some white on. the Black seemed to come to a point on the sides of the chest, so to speak. Don't recall the rest of the pattern. I'd say from my memory overall I was half white and half some dark maybe black color. It was some very dark color. Though in an interesting pattern. I could have been indigo or midnight blue or some other very dark color like that.
I tried to make food appear and at the same time it was a fish and angel food with vanilla frosting, like it was multi dimensional and had the same looks both at once. I'm less aware maybe since both had no taste to me.
-------------------
The large ships, or many ships leaving some world. yesterday got a bit more from the stabilizing the nuclear furnace of a star. stellar engineers. One thing they can do is delay or lengthen a star's life by a certain amount, say by a million years or less, and it can be done for a number of reasons, like a promising race given more time to get up to interstellar travel technology, or other reasons. it takes a certain number of ships positioned at certain points around a star... not sure if details nor where any of this is coming from.
Non human figures, but I still can't clearly see them, though some have eyes that are a bit larger then humans and a bit farther apart.
? dolphin or dolphin type beings with some sort of sonic technology? can shapeshift?
I was also thinking that I've not lost the love/joy and the feeling of love being sent from somewhere. It's a natural part of me that I don't realize it. Though i do get other emotions too that are at times on top of this.
-----------------------
I wonder how long till I get into 5d fully. and how long till I"m fully awake.
-----------------------
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