I did the 4th mediation for the first time. it went about average overall. The Dinia I felt decently, better a bit later on. at first the ninia I didn't feel at all any energy going there. The Leow slightly. the dome, have to look up the name, went pretty well. the Ranthia went pretty well also. the kundalini only sent a very slight amount of energy into the dome but I was able to pretty well keep a steady flow of energy from the first 3 energy centers into the dome and into the first ranthia, heart energy center. From there it felt like the first one got full, or maybe it was fully active, not sure which. Felt a slight ache, like something not use to being used being awakened a bit. Later on it felt like the 2nd ranthia either got full or fully active an eventually the 3rd was either mostly full or active, not sure which. not sure if it go full or fully active by the end. I think it may have.
----
I'll be going out very soon to meet some group of spiritual type folks. I hope it goes well. The weather is pretty cold and not very nice. Cold, rainy. and I feel like I should go back to bed. That'll have to wait till this afternoon.
--------------------------------------------------------
Went to the Illumane Dharma meeting. There were only 5 of us there, and 1
kid. I had fun. They showed videos of various things including some
channeled beings, and played some audio. Though the rainy weather and
it being colder then it had been the past few days made it not pleasant
to go there or head home.
-----------------------
Did a short meditation while I was laying down after waking up from my
nap. Asked my aspects in general if they had any messages for me and I
got some from 3. In general it was they liked what I was doing and to
continue doing it. I asked my higher self and it just send me a feeling
of love and unasked Mirabelle sent a <I love you.> I told her
that I lover her also and she said something like <I know, you can't
hide that from me even if you were to try. I need to tell you at times
since where you are you are so insensitive.> she said, not meaning it
in a negative way, but that here things are so dense, and separated
that folks here are not as sensitive as they are normally.
-----------------
I remembered what one of the folks at the Illumne Dharma meeting said. I
forgot his exact words but he was in the same belief that we come here
to learn since where we are from is like paradise.
That doesn't feel quite right. Partially right, but we can and do
continue to learn once we are back home. Or I may be wrong about that.
Just Some come here for fun, and or to learn certain things. Certain
things are easier and or faster to learn here, but one can still learn
everything back home. And I feel just like certain things may be
learned easier or faster here, certain things are learned faster and
easier there. But we do have forever to learn.
I would guess they have the same, though I may be wrong about this also.
The end goal is not to reach perfection or learn all you can then
graduate by returning to source. We are already source. we can just
open that awareness, link or whatever it was that Mirabelle did when She
activated the 3 heart centers that did that for me temporarily. One
can do that permanently I think if one sets that as their goal.
Since one can say the only real end goal is existing and experiencing. Though there is no real end goal. The human custom, beliefs here make one thing there has to be an end goal to everything, even when there is none.
---------------------
I did the 4th mediation for the 2nd time today. It overall went well. Wasn't sure how it would go in the beginning, but I did play around with the energies and angles and such and it went really well. Towards the end I felt a sort of pop, I guess it may have been a blockage in my abdominal area that cleared up. It felt like the Kundalini was also flowing faster, with some energy from that branching off again to go to the mummin, or whatever it's called, to then go to the Ranthia. During part of it I felt a slight ache, that went away after a bit. I think it may be like the energy centers and the dome mimin maybe are not use to being used to much. The slight ache was less and went away fairly quickly . it returned briefly when it felt like the 3rd ranthia was getting filled or activated or whatever. It did feel like I got a very good flow or energy flowing, a lot in fact, to the Dinia through the other 2 into the mummin and to the ranthia. Felt like all 3 got full or fully activated.
-----------------------------
While I was resting and meditating I had an interesting conversation first with Mirabelle, then with mom (unicorn mom) then dad (unicorn dad).
Maribelle basically went into detail on how she would do a certain thing that she had mentioned before, that involving sex we would have.
Then she mentioned that mom does find me as attractive and as a future person she would see as a lover. She said that there is a special relationship between someone adopted into the family and that I am and others in the family like her (meaning mom). I'm still... accept this but I guess it's the human or culture that seems a bit odd, only slightly. Maybe that is something I need to drop, it is pretty close to dropping and I hope it does help since I do want help in getting to become my true self. I did ask Mirabelle if she was sure since I'd guess mom had lovers already. I asked how dad would feel. She said he'd be happy that mom had someone to see to her special needs that was a family member, an adopted one that would allow him (meaning me) to see to her special needs. I guess Mirabelle was meaning some sort of sex, a special type or something, but she'd not go into detail.
Then she came into the conversation to talk a bit. First she touched horns with mine and I can't describe what she did. She then said something like, <having read your essence I can say that I accept you as a future lover>
My adopted unicorn mom that is. She said that there is a special bond between say her and me, a family member who's adopted into the family, but not born or conceived into the family. I asked if she had other lovers for that, she said she had a few, after a brief pause, but the bond we would have as lovers would be a special one. more then as just lovers. She then said, as it felt like she touched her horn to mine, saying she is very subtle in her seduction. She promised that the first few times I'd likely not be aware that I was being seduced till maybe after I had thrust into her, and maybe not even then. I wonder what that'll be like. I guess it's one of those kidding with a touch of being serious.
Then unicorn dad, dad I call him, appeared and touched our horns. then he said he gave his blessing if we should choose to have children together. You meaning me and mom (unicorn mom). I mentioned my surprise to him and is he sure. he said I had given my blessing to Mirabelle to have children with her lovers if she and they choose. I guess this means the same thing. Still a bit surprising. then dad mentioned some dolphins live nearby, and he sent me an image of some dolphins playing in the water. He said, in a joking manner, they'd not be able to keep their phins off of me, especially if once they found out I was a fellow phin, to use a term I had used before. he then said in a joking manner I'd likely have kids with them also. I said let's not rush into things. he said I did have eternity. True. I do. I guess this maybe is them being serious, but also helping me with getting more into my true self and shedding the human personality skin, which I'm grateful. Though I do feel they were being serious also about the stuff like mom and me becoming lovers one day, maybe having kids together, and the dolphins.
As fun as that may be, I'll still do my best to become my true self as much as i can as fast as I can.
-----------------------------------
Forgot to put down. On the bus on the way home I was contemplating, maybe the human personality is but a thin tissue. Thinking now as I type this, maybe I need to but to dissolve it. Maybe instead of yanking it off. Dissolve it bit by bit. I think I am already doing that, but I can do more of a focus on that too.
--------------------------------
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Friday, March 20, 2015
Friday [3-20]
I was talking to my unicorn dad last night a bit as I lay down to sleep.
He still wouldn't say what about me or why he finds me attractive and
sexually attractive. Guess some day they may, or maybe not. He did
also add in an extra thing which I find intriguing. <When it i time
for us to have some fun you'll see me at my most seductive, just the 2
of us.> I mention I hope this isn't a 1 time only thing, that we can
do it more then once and he said, <as often as I like and we both
have time.>
after this I was thinking if dragons expect their descendants, soul children, soul grand children and so on, to find their own way. That if they do help they prefer to do it subtly instead of more like a guide or something along those lines. Or if it's just the way of some dragons.
----------------------------------------------
I did the 2nd meditation of part 2.
It went in between I'd say. The first part went average to below average. I couldn't feel as well the energies of the first 3. the first slightly. 2 not at all, an 3 maybe slightly.
For the dome thing, mummin? that went pretty well, it didn't feel odd like before. and the part of the Ranthia went well. The only thing is after a time or 2 I started to get a scene elsewhere, but I snapped back after a few seconds. Don't remember the scene I was getting. It happened again but I snapped back before I was aware of a scene. It did feel like I was floating or lighter for parts of it.
This finishes the 5th time I've done the first 2, while listening to the audio so later today I'll listen to 3 twice. The 5 times doesn't count the few times I've done the meditation, a simplified version, a few times while not listening to the audio.
------------------------------------------------
I did the 3rd meditation of the 2nd part of awaken the light body today. It was an interesting experience, not what I was expecting. I felt the first energy center slightly. the 2nd not really at all. The 3rd a bit. the mummin I felt pretty well. Then when he moved to the heart center, ranthia, I got an idea. I always saw and felt the heart center as moving in this or that direction, this or that speed. I decided to feel to see how many I had. I found I had 3. 1 was moving in the opposite direction of the other 2. The 2 that were moving in the same direction were rotating in 2 different speeds.
I then did my best, to a pretty decent level of success for a first try at this, of feeling & having energy flow through the first 3 energy centers into the mmumin (I'll have to look up what it's called later and try to memorize the names too). and from there into the Ranthias. I didn't feel much as I tried to have it go into all 3. But it felt like I had better success with having the energy flow through the 3 into the mumin and from there into 1 of the ranthia and then to the other 2 as if they have a link or channel.
So at this point I had energy, felt and did my best to do this. Have energy come into the first energy center, the 2nd and 3rd, flowing from the 1st through the 2nd through the 3rd and into the mummin, like a steady current of energy. From there it did feel like the energy changed it's feel so the energy that flowed into the first rantia had a different feel to the energy flowing into the mummin from the first 3 energy centers. Though I did my best to keep this up as a regular flow of energy with a pretty good success.
After I had been doing this for short bit it felt like the kundlini started to flow faster with more energy in it, and then like the channel widened at and below where my lower back is. I felt a tightness in places of my body and tried to get some of those to relax and loosen up. Then it felt like Maribelle and my unicorn dad were touching horns with me and I was in my unicorn form. The kundalini channel widened up to about the heart level. Then it felt like some of the extra energy branched off and went to the mummin. I tried having it go directly into the first ranthia (heart center) but it felt like it didn't like that a bit so I let it go back to the branch flowing into the mummin and from there the 2 channels of energy flowing into the mummin and into the first ranthia and from there into the other 2.
Then it felt like I was back in my body again with Mirabelle still touching horns with me. Dad had seperated his horn from mine for a few seconds then it felt like he touched the tip of his horn to the side of mine. It felt like he was then taking some of the energy that was flowing from the 2 channels, and using it to have certain tight spots in the abdominal and lower areas loosen up and relax. I did feel pleasure, not aware I was feeling some pleasure till the last part of this. And a bit of a bliss feeling also. The floating sensation was there also.
Think I got a message from Mirabelle to try this mediation again before I listened to the audio version again.
------------------------------------------------------
I successfully did Chi Gong for 10 minutes. Could have gone on longer. An idea I got was to try for 10 minutes daily. Then say around April 1st try to up that to 15 minutes daily. Increasing the length bit by bit till I get to maybe 30 minutes a day.
while doing it I often to feel some sort of energy flow. I do have thoughts but they come more slowly. more thoughts then I'd have later on since some of the thoughts are brief momentary of ok what movement comes next.
I was thinking during my doing this, a brief thought. If I am dragon at the soul level, am I eastern, western, do western or eastern dragons exist. or can I be both. Are western fire and eastern water dragons?
------------------------------------
Read Spirit Guide Sparrow's response to one of my posts earlier. Feels like he, or she, Is partially getting things true and partially not,
Stuff like a horse would not incarnate as a human. that being a new age myth.
Feeling inside I think the key that he/or she, missed is if the given soul is sentient. There is a difference between say a unicorn soul and a horse soul at the soul level. hard to describe. so a sentient like a unicorn may incarnate as a human on earth, on the Pleiades, Sirius, ect. It blurs a bit since one has to get to what is an incarnation, and what is the soul level. So for example is a unicorn a soul or an incarnation.
I think at this time, the inner feeling is say a unicorn is at the soul level, wear-as Sirius or Pleiades sentient life form would be an incarnation.
Feel like Sparrow is partially right and partially wrong, like he/she gets wisdom and information, but overlooks certain things or ignores certain things either consciously or subconsciously. Not that I'm putting him/her down, but I think we all do this to an extent, some more then others, some less then others.
----------------------------------
Sparrow's post did give me some interesting though. if animal soul groups are part of sentient soul groups. So say a human, does that mean the human is part of a mammal, homid, ape, and monkey soul groups or not. It may be. Or it may be that the dividing line is sentient and non sentient souls. that could be he 2 base types. With the non sentient souls after certain sorts of experiences unlike say sentient souls that are after certain types of experiences. Some overlapping interests, but also perhaps many differences also.
Also it seems like he's saying he has the right answers and I won't till I'm on the other side. I dislike that. not that I'm saying that I'm right and he's wrong. as a teen, one of the first poofs that I got at 15 was that. So I'm not one who'll say I have access to right information and your beliefs are wrong. Since I still believe in the poof thing that I got. That everyone sees the truths through a lens, some are more distorted and tinted then others, but none here can see the truth with perfect clarity, with the lens removed so to speak. Not sure if folks on the other side can see or perceive the truths with out distortion or tinting or if that is just part of existing. though i'd guess if they do have a lens theirs is far less distorted and tinted then those here.
So I'm not one to say I can access the real truth and you can't. I wonder if that is why Maribelle and the others don't give me much information about stuff but keep it vague, so I won't distort stuff then have to unlearn stuff once I'm on the other side. Who knows Maribelle may or may not look like how I have seen her. It's ok either way. Though perceptions being one way I may continue to see her and other unicorns one way, and she may see other unicorns in a different way. Though not a vastly different way I think.
If I do have a dragon soul parent I wonder if it is a western, eastern, another type, or of those labels don't apply. Same with if I have a cetacan soul parent.
and for being sentient I can see to different soul species having individuals who may fall in love with 1 of more who are not of their soul species, that is if soul species is a accurate term, it may not be.
And if their intent is to have a kid together, they can, thus making what I guess may be called a hybrid soul.
----------------------------------------------
I tried the 3rd mediation without listening to the audio. much faster and I did have some pretty good experience with it, with the experience and such. Though I kept having to come back to the meditation since once or twice it was like I was experiencing a controlled dream or something, hard to describe. After a few times of this i thought it enough so stopped with the meditation and also since the kundalini stopped participating, I took that as a good indication to stop also. As before I did get the energy flow to be like a circuit or flow of energy continuously from the 1st energy center up through the 3rd to the dome thing into the first Ranthia, heart center, then to the other 2. The Kundalini started to surge, with more energy, sending off a branch again into the dome. No idea why it does this but I assume it helps somehow.
---------------------------------------------------
I did the 3rd meditation of part 2 for the 2nd time while listening to the audio. The results were average I'd say, maybe some aspects being below average. The first 3 energy centers responded, the 2nd and 3rd the least. The dome (I must look up what that is called) I felt some of the energy going into it at first, then much more. I could do the circuit again or continuous flow, though it felt like less of a flow then before. It felt like the kundalini also was less responsive. The flow didn't increase as much and the side channel going to the dome not anywhere as much as before, especially the first time. Same with filling the first Ranthia and then the other 2. It may be that the body, or entertain energy centers and the storage trans-mutative centers like the dome thing, can only handle a certain amount within a certain amount of time, at the present level of development, or with the amount that in this body. Or perhaps due to the human body being so fragile, like thin glass or fine china, that there is a build in safety mechanism. Overall I'd say it was an average success, so good all around.
---------------------------------------
Not sure if I go the message right, maybe I did. I tried doing very simplified hand movements to see if I could get into the same relaxed trance type as I do at times when I do Qi Gong and it seems I did. I was thinking if part of my soul heritage is dragon, I wonder if it is eastern or western and I thought I heard a mental voice say <eastern>. To test it I mentally said, keeping myself in the same relaxed type trance (hard to explain what it looks like), "ah, you mean western right?" I got, <no, eastern>.
"Then why do I like the images and such of western dragons?"
<part of the reason is cultural programming and ???? memory> i don't remember what the ??? was, it was a concept i didn't quite understand. Something kinda like racial memory, soul racial memory, soul memory, something like that but not quite.
Wonder if it's true and if so, info about eastern type dragons and eastern dragon kin must be very scarce I'd guess.
---------------------------
after this I was thinking if dragons expect their descendants, soul children, soul grand children and so on, to find their own way. That if they do help they prefer to do it subtly instead of more like a guide or something along those lines. Or if it's just the way of some dragons.
----------------------------------------------
I did the 2nd meditation of part 2.
It went in between I'd say. The first part went average to below average. I couldn't feel as well the energies of the first 3. the first slightly. 2 not at all, an 3 maybe slightly.
For the dome thing, mummin? that went pretty well, it didn't feel odd like before. and the part of the Ranthia went well. The only thing is after a time or 2 I started to get a scene elsewhere, but I snapped back after a few seconds. Don't remember the scene I was getting. It happened again but I snapped back before I was aware of a scene. It did feel like I was floating or lighter for parts of it.
This finishes the 5th time I've done the first 2, while listening to the audio so later today I'll listen to 3 twice. The 5 times doesn't count the few times I've done the meditation, a simplified version, a few times while not listening to the audio.
------------------------------------------------
I did the 3rd meditation of the 2nd part of awaken the light body today. It was an interesting experience, not what I was expecting. I felt the first energy center slightly. the 2nd not really at all. The 3rd a bit. the mummin I felt pretty well. Then when he moved to the heart center, ranthia, I got an idea. I always saw and felt the heart center as moving in this or that direction, this or that speed. I decided to feel to see how many I had. I found I had 3. 1 was moving in the opposite direction of the other 2. The 2 that were moving in the same direction were rotating in 2 different speeds.
I then did my best, to a pretty decent level of success for a first try at this, of feeling & having energy flow through the first 3 energy centers into the mmumin (I'll have to look up what it's called later and try to memorize the names too). and from there into the Ranthias. I didn't feel much as I tried to have it go into all 3. But it felt like I had better success with having the energy flow through the 3 into the mumin and from there into 1 of the ranthia and then to the other 2 as if they have a link or channel.
So at this point I had energy, felt and did my best to do this. Have energy come into the first energy center, the 2nd and 3rd, flowing from the 1st through the 2nd through the 3rd and into the mummin, like a steady current of energy. From there it did feel like the energy changed it's feel so the energy that flowed into the first rantia had a different feel to the energy flowing into the mummin from the first 3 energy centers. Though I did my best to keep this up as a regular flow of energy with a pretty good success.
After I had been doing this for short bit it felt like the kundlini started to flow faster with more energy in it, and then like the channel widened at and below where my lower back is. I felt a tightness in places of my body and tried to get some of those to relax and loosen up. Then it felt like Maribelle and my unicorn dad were touching horns with me and I was in my unicorn form. The kundalini channel widened up to about the heart level. Then it felt like some of the extra energy branched off and went to the mummin. I tried having it go directly into the first ranthia (heart center) but it felt like it didn't like that a bit so I let it go back to the branch flowing into the mummin and from there the 2 channels of energy flowing into the mummin and into the first ranthia and from there into the other 2.
Then it felt like I was back in my body again with Mirabelle still touching horns with me. Dad had seperated his horn from mine for a few seconds then it felt like he touched the tip of his horn to the side of mine. It felt like he was then taking some of the energy that was flowing from the 2 channels, and using it to have certain tight spots in the abdominal and lower areas loosen up and relax. I did feel pleasure, not aware I was feeling some pleasure till the last part of this. And a bit of a bliss feeling also. The floating sensation was there also.
Think I got a message from Mirabelle to try this mediation again before I listened to the audio version again.
------------------------------------------------------
I successfully did Chi Gong for 10 minutes. Could have gone on longer. An idea I got was to try for 10 minutes daily. Then say around April 1st try to up that to 15 minutes daily. Increasing the length bit by bit till I get to maybe 30 minutes a day.
while doing it I often to feel some sort of energy flow. I do have thoughts but they come more slowly. more thoughts then I'd have later on since some of the thoughts are brief momentary of ok what movement comes next.
I was thinking during my doing this, a brief thought. If I am dragon at the soul level, am I eastern, western, do western or eastern dragons exist. or can I be both. Are western fire and eastern water dragons?
------------------------------------
Read Spirit Guide Sparrow's response to one of my posts earlier. Feels like he, or she, Is partially getting things true and partially not,
Stuff like a horse would not incarnate as a human. that being a new age myth.
Feeling inside I think the key that he/or she, missed is if the given soul is sentient. There is a difference between say a unicorn soul and a horse soul at the soul level. hard to describe. so a sentient like a unicorn may incarnate as a human on earth, on the Pleiades, Sirius, ect. It blurs a bit since one has to get to what is an incarnation, and what is the soul level. So for example is a unicorn a soul or an incarnation.
I think at this time, the inner feeling is say a unicorn is at the soul level, wear-as Sirius or Pleiades sentient life form would be an incarnation.
Feel like Sparrow is partially right and partially wrong, like he/she gets wisdom and information, but overlooks certain things or ignores certain things either consciously or subconsciously. Not that I'm putting him/her down, but I think we all do this to an extent, some more then others, some less then others.
----------------------------------
Sparrow's post did give me some interesting though. if animal soul groups are part of sentient soul groups. So say a human, does that mean the human is part of a mammal, homid, ape, and monkey soul groups or not. It may be. Or it may be that the dividing line is sentient and non sentient souls. that could be he 2 base types. With the non sentient souls after certain sorts of experiences unlike say sentient souls that are after certain types of experiences. Some overlapping interests, but also perhaps many differences also.
Also it seems like he's saying he has the right answers and I won't till I'm on the other side. I dislike that. not that I'm saying that I'm right and he's wrong. as a teen, one of the first poofs that I got at 15 was that. So I'm not one who'll say I have access to right information and your beliefs are wrong. Since I still believe in the poof thing that I got. That everyone sees the truths through a lens, some are more distorted and tinted then others, but none here can see the truth with perfect clarity, with the lens removed so to speak. Not sure if folks on the other side can see or perceive the truths with out distortion or tinting or if that is just part of existing. though i'd guess if they do have a lens theirs is far less distorted and tinted then those here.
So I'm not one to say I can access the real truth and you can't. I wonder if that is why Maribelle and the others don't give me much information about stuff but keep it vague, so I won't distort stuff then have to unlearn stuff once I'm on the other side. Who knows Maribelle may or may not look like how I have seen her. It's ok either way. Though perceptions being one way I may continue to see her and other unicorns one way, and she may see other unicorns in a different way. Though not a vastly different way I think.
If I do have a dragon soul parent I wonder if it is a western, eastern, another type, or of those labels don't apply. Same with if I have a cetacan soul parent.
and for being sentient I can see to different soul species having individuals who may fall in love with 1 of more who are not of their soul species, that is if soul species is a accurate term, it may not be.
And if their intent is to have a kid together, they can, thus making what I guess may be called a hybrid soul.
----------------------------------------------
I tried the 3rd mediation without listening to the audio. much faster and I did have some pretty good experience with it, with the experience and such. Though I kept having to come back to the meditation since once or twice it was like I was experiencing a controlled dream or something, hard to describe. After a few times of this i thought it enough so stopped with the meditation and also since the kundalini stopped participating, I took that as a good indication to stop also. As before I did get the energy flow to be like a circuit or flow of energy continuously from the 1st energy center up through the 3rd to the dome thing into the first Ranthia, heart center, then to the other 2. The Kundalini started to surge, with more energy, sending off a branch again into the dome. No idea why it does this but I assume it helps somehow.
---------------------------------------------------
I did the 3rd meditation of part 2 for the 2nd time while listening to the audio. The results were average I'd say, maybe some aspects being below average. The first 3 energy centers responded, the 2nd and 3rd the least. The dome (I must look up what that is called) I felt some of the energy going into it at first, then much more. I could do the circuit again or continuous flow, though it felt like less of a flow then before. It felt like the kundalini also was less responsive. The flow didn't increase as much and the side channel going to the dome not anywhere as much as before, especially the first time. Same with filling the first Ranthia and then the other 2. It may be that the body, or entertain energy centers and the storage trans-mutative centers like the dome thing, can only handle a certain amount within a certain amount of time, at the present level of development, or with the amount that in this body. Or perhaps due to the human body being so fragile, like thin glass or fine china, that there is a build in safety mechanism. Overall I'd say it was an average success, so good all around.
---------------------------------------
Not sure if I go the message right, maybe I did. I tried doing very simplified hand movements to see if I could get into the same relaxed trance type as I do at times when I do Qi Gong and it seems I did. I was thinking if part of my soul heritage is dragon, I wonder if it is eastern or western and I thought I heard a mental voice say <eastern>. To test it I mentally said, keeping myself in the same relaxed type trance (hard to explain what it looks like), "ah, you mean western right?" I got, <no, eastern>.
"Then why do I like the images and such of western dragons?"
<part of the reason is cultural programming and ???? memory> i don't remember what the ??? was, it was a concept i didn't quite understand. Something kinda like racial memory, soul racial memory, soul memory, something like that but not quite.
Wonder if it's true and if so, info about eastern type dragons and eastern dragon kin must be very scarce I'd guess.
---------------------------
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Thursday [3-19]
I did the 2nd meditation of the 2nd part of the course today. I felt
all the energies. It was an interesting sensation between the first 3
energy centers of the light body, the half dome thing that transmutes
and stores the energy then sends it to the heart center. Felt like I
went to medium trance state or at least I felt very relaxed. Felt like
Mirabelle sent me a tiny bit of energy, as I asked, not that I needed
it, just wanted to see if I could see it and a bit extra energy wouldn't
hurt anything.
Doing doing this I got a few images or something. the 1st was of a side of a cliff or something. It seemed to have extremely thick fog. part of it had what looked like 3 foot high wall made with what looked like rocks maybe. And these were in front of a cliff, or some area that had a sheer drop, with all the fog it was not possible to see how far down it went. The viewpoint seemed to shift, moving and the wall thing came to and end with the land suddenly dropping down, but no wall made of stones to stop one. I did see trees around, but they didn't have leaves, sorta like it was winter and they had dropped their leaves or something.
I saw a 2nd thing, but I don't recall what that is now.
============================
I did the 2nd meditation of part 2 again. Had marginal success I'd say overall. Nothing wrong about that. Can't have a great experience every day. Maybe it's an off day at this time. I felt almost nothing of the Nua, only slightly towards the end. The 2nd I felt nothing, of the 3rd I had the most success of the lower 3. Which is unusual since I usually have the most success with the first 1.
Of the dome thing, still can't remember it's name, I had pretty good success, though it felt odd for some reason. Maybe it's the off day or it's not use to being used much. the heart center also felt a bit odd as well as I did the meditation. Both I could feel the energy win them, but it felt ? more solid, a bit odd, in a way hard explain. No biggie, like I said before, can't expect a super experience very time.
I did feel the energy around the body that came from the heart center and it effecting the upper 3 energy centers to at least a slight degree. I think I can feel my horn but can't place it exactly. Is it between my eyebrows or in the middle of my forehead? or is there something in both?
Didn't' really feel the floating feeling, just a very very slight bit towards the end. I may try this again a 3rd time either tonight or tomorrow morning. The pamphlet says to do the first 2 3-5 times before moving on to the 3-6. I've done both twice each so 4 total, but I think doing 2 once more can't hurt and will be 5 total.
I tried it a a bit quick just now without listening to the audio. felt like a bit more success. The mummin, I think it's called, still felt a bit odd. I asked Mirabelle and my new unicorn family for a slight bit of energy for an experiment, as well as trying to build up energy in the first 3 energy centers. Over all I'd say a better success then when I did it a bit earlier while listening to the audio.
I can feel my horn now in the middle of my forehead. Not all of it, but the base of it and maybe a few inches and the base does fee like it's in the middle of my forehead, the base that is.
-------------------------------------
Felt like Mirabelle wasn't with me once I left the apartment, but she could see and hear through my senses or something. She seemed happy I was having fun at the Thursday rpg group.
----------------------------------
I think instead of picking 6 favorites per course of the 6 parts, I may instead just, the month after I finish the 6th part, just go through and redo the course. picking say 10 out of 12 meditations for each part I'll do, doubling up and doing a different one mediation. Which means over the course of a month I can do 60. That easily comes to 10 per course, leaving out only 2. Not bad.
I think during the month I"ll go over all the, what I call, side Light body courses, pick the ones that interest me, and then see if I can narrow it down to at most 6, but allowing up to 8 if they really do interest me, but trying to keep it at most 6, then buy those. Then I may get the 2nd course. The 3rd may interest me more. but each of those is $200. So that seems better as a end cap, where I may get each course say every 2-4 months, so taking up to 3 years to finish the course, that is IF I do decide to do 3. I may decide to just get a course or 2 and that is it, In that case I may get those before I get 2. I'll decide all that after I've picked out the max of 6 side LB courses I'll get. Plenty of time since that is around 4 months off or so.
I think a short time ago Mirabelle and one of her brothers sent me positive feelings. With the feel of bro's positive energy or something, felt like under the surface, not much under, was he does still fine me sexually attractive and is willing ot have some fun. Plenty of time for that later. I do wonder how many of her family will find me the same way since I'm not related to them, being adopted but not conceived and born into the family.
I do wonder how large her family is. I can understand not introducing me right away to all of them. Plenty of time to gradually do it then poof all at once. I also wonder if more of her family, or friends, will find me sexually attractive and why they do.
-----------------------
Annoying that it seems I'll have to wait till this incarnation is over to see if I know anything about unicorns (except the tiny bit I got from source), dragons, cetaceans non of earth origin, if I am any of those, apart from unicorn, if I have any other purpose being here apart from anchoring that energy thing (whatever that is) for the new wave indigo folks, and awakening, not very important overall and those may be the only 2 reasons I'm here. Still, it's annoying having to wait to find out if I know anything about unicorns, dragons, cetaceans of non earth origin, and if I am any part dragon and non earth cetacean, but nothing i can do about that except to wait.
--------------------
It seem Mr. H and his mate want to talk to me again. No idea why. He lied about something Mirabelle said. Guess he was trying to drive us apart for some evil reason. He is a dark and evil soul I bet. I guess the reason he & his mate wanted to talk to me is due to his wanting to lie again and they want to try to drive Mirabelle and me apart and say how knows what evil things.
As I was thinking that I think I got a poof flash message thing from bro, or one of them. He said <don't believe him.> Then I got. Then I got one from dad, the feel was he was running, no idea if he was running somewhere, or just out for a fun run. The message was <he lies>.
I asked him if he is the leader of unicorns everywhere like he says, dad says, <he's no leader of us.> One of my bros said <Yea.> and sis said, <yuk.> No idea this could be a group chat thing. Wonder if twas telepathic or something else.
------------------------
I asked dad and bro if they really do find me sexually attractive. The 2 of them didn't answer but I got a strong feeling they do, and also they'd be willing to have some sexual fun with me. I then asked other bro and sister and got much the same. They acknowledge they do and are willing ot have some sexual fun, but won't say why they find me sexually attractive, or what about me they find attractive and sexually attractive.
I went and told them I was willing to have some sexual fun with them, they all seemed happy about that for some reason. Sis added in, <oooo.>
---------------------
I feel some inner joy with having been adopted into the family. But they , except for mom, are willing to have sex with me too.
though that makes me wonder how large Mirabelle's family is. As well as if others will find me attractive, as well as sexually attractive and willing to have sex with me. I guess unicorns are very very open about sex.
That may be fun, if the true me isn't to shy. If I do get introduced to all of them, assuming there are more, and they are like dad, bros and sis.
Seems wild that is real. Seems wilder since I am not anyone special. Not putting myself down. Just that I'm average, no one special.
-----------------------
I had an idea of something and asked the dragoness a question and her voice seemed pretty hard to hear, but i do think I got a reply. I asked if she was the one who maybe subtly pointed me to get the Light Body course. She said she had subtly suggested it since they (dan and stan) were not working out.
I was thinking a bit about Dan's reply when I tried the meet your guide guided meditation and Dan popped up saying where I''m considered they (meaning him and Stan) have to be on their best behavior. She did tell me she'd look into it when I mentioned to her they kept telling me I could project and bugging me to try and after a few days I got annoyed.
I was curious after I spoke to her they never tried to contact me. Guess I know why. And if i sent them a message 99% of the time the wouldn't reply, same to this day.
Doing doing this I got a few images or something. the 1st was of a side of a cliff or something. It seemed to have extremely thick fog. part of it had what looked like 3 foot high wall made with what looked like rocks maybe. And these were in front of a cliff, or some area that had a sheer drop, with all the fog it was not possible to see how far down it went. The viewpoint seemed to shift, moving and the wall thing came to and end with the land suddenly dropping down, but no wall made of stones to stop one. I did see trees around, but they didn't have leaves, sorta like it was winter and they had dropped their leaves or something.
I saw a 2nd thing, but I don't recall what that is now.
============================
I did the 2nd meditation of part 2 again. Had marginal success I'd say overall. Nothing wrong about that. Can't have a great experience every day. Maybe it's an off day at this time. I felt almost nothing of the Nua, only slightly towards the end. The 2nd I felt nothing, of the 3rd I had the most success of the lower 3. Which is unusual since I usually have the most success with the first 1.
Of the dome thing, still can't remember it's name, I had pretty good success, though it felt odd for some reason. Maybe it's the off day or it's not use to being used much. the heart center also felt a bit odd as well as I did the meditation. Both I could feel the energy win them, but it felt ? more solid, a bit odd, in a way hard explain. No biggie, like I said before, can't expect a super experience very time.
I did feel the energy around the body that came from the heart center and it effecting the upper 3 energy centers to at least a slight degree. I think I can feel my horn but can't place it exactly. Is it between my eyebrows or in the middle of my forehead? or is there something in both?
Didn't' really feel the floating feeling, just a very very slight bit towards the end. I may try this again a 3rd time either tonight or tomorrow morning. The pamphlet says to do the first 2 3-5 times before moving on to the 3-6. I've done both twice each so 4 total, but I think doing 2 once more can't hurt and will be 5 total.
I tried it a a bit quick just now without listening to the audio. felt like a bit more success. The mummin, I think it's called, still felt a bit odd. I asked Mirabelle and my new unicorn family for a slight bit of energy for an experiment, as well as trying to build up energy in the first 3 energy centers. Over all I'd say a better success then when I did it a bit earlier while listening to the audio.
I can feel my horn now in the middle of my forehead. Not all of it, but the base of it and maybe a few inches and the base does fee like it's in the middle of my forehead, the base that is.
-------------------------------------
Felt like Mirabelle wasn't with me once I left the apartment, but she could see and hear through my senses or something. She seemed happy I was having fun at the Thursday rpg group.
----------------------------------
I think instead of picking 6 favorites per course of the 6 parts, I may instead just, the month after I finish the 6th part, just go through and redo the course. picking say 10 out of 12 meditations for each part I'll do, doubling up and doing a different one mediation. Which means over the course of a month I can do 60. That easily comes to 10 per course, leaving out only 2. Not bad.
I think during the month I"ll go over all the, what I call, side Light body courses, pick the ones that interest me, and then see if I can narrow it down to at most 6, but allowing up to 8 if they really do interest me, but trying to keep it at most 6, then buy those. Then I may get the 2nd course. The 3rd may interest me more. but each of those is $200. So that seems better as a end cap, where I may get each course say every 2-4 months, so taking up to 3 years to finish the course, that is IF I do decide to do 3. I may decide to just get a course or 2 and that is it, In that case I may get those before I get 2. I'll decide all that after I've picked out the max of 6 side LB courses I'll get. Plenty of time since that is around 4 months off or so.
I think a short time ago Mirabelle and one of her brothers sent me positive feelings. With the feel of bro's positive energy or something, felt like under the surface, not much under, was he does still fine me sexually attractive and is willing ot have some fun. Plenty of time for that later. I do wonder how many of her family will find me the same way since I'm not related to them, being adopted but not conceived and born into the family.
I do wonder how large her family is. I can understand not introducing me right away to all of them. Plenty of time to gradually do it then poof all at once. I also wonder if more of her family, or friends, will find me sexually attractive and why they do.
-----------------------
Annoying that it seems I'll have to wait till this incarnation is over to see if I know anything about unicorns (except the tiny bit I got from source), dragons, cetaceans non of earth origin, if I am any of those, apart from unicorn, if I have any other purpose being here apart from anchoring that energy thing (whatever that is) for the new wave indigo folks, and awakening, not very important overall and those may be the only 2 reasons I'm here. Still, it's annoying having to wait to find out if I know anything about unicorns, dragons, cetaceans of non earth origin, and if I am any part dragon and non earth cetacean, but nothing i can do about that except to wait.
--------------------
It seem Mr. H and his mate want to talk to me again. No idea why. He lied about something Mirabelle said. Guess he was trying to drive us apart for some evil reason. He is a dark and evil soul I bet. I guess the reason he & his mate wanted to talk to me is due to his wanting to lie again and they want to try to drive Mirabelle and me apart and say how knows what evil things.
As I was thinking that I think I got a poof flash message thing from bro, or one of them. He said <don't believe him.> Then I got. Then I got one from dad, the feel was he was running, no idea if he was running somewhere, or just out for a fun run. The message was <he lies>.
I asked him if he is the leader of unicorns everywhere like he says, dad says, <he's no leader of us.> One of my bros said <Yea.> and sis said, <yuk.> No idea this could be a group chat thing. Wonder if twas telepathic or something else.
------------------------
I asked dad and bro if they really do find me sexually attractive. The 2 of them didn't answer but I got a strong feeling they do, and also they'd be willing to have some sexual fun with me. I then asked other bro and sister and got much the same. They acknowledge they do and are willing ot have some sexual fun, but won't say why they find me sexually attractive, or what about me they find attractive and sexually attractive.
I went and told them I was willing to have some sexual fun with them, they all seemed happy about that for some reason. Sis added in, <oooo.>
---------------------
I feel some inner joy with having been adopted into the family. But they , except for mom, are willing to have sex with me too.
though that makes me wonder how large Mirabelle's family is. As well as if others will find me attractive, as well as sexually attractive and willing to have sex with me. I guess unicorns are very very open about sex.
That may be fun, if the true me isn't to shy. If I do get introduced to all of them, assuming there are more, and they are like dad, bros and sis.
Seems wild that is real. Seems wilder since I am not anyone special. Not putting myself down. Just that I'm average, no one special.
-----------------------
I had an idea of something and asked the dragoness a question and her voice seemed pretty hard to hear, but i do think I got a reply. I asked if she was the one who maybe subtly pointed me to get the Light Body course. She said she had subtly suggested it since they (dan and stan) were not working out.
I was thinking a bit about Dan's reply when I tried the meet your guide guided meditation and Dan popped up saying where I''m considered they (meaning him and Stan) have to be on their best behavior. She did tell me she'd look into it when I mentioned to her they kept telling me I could project and bugging me to try and after a few days I got annoyed.
I was curious after I spoke to her they never tried to contact me. Guess I know why. And if i sent them a message 99% of the time the wouldn't reply, same to this day.
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Wed [3-18]
I was thinking this morning. Assuming that the Nomo are dolphin like beings, and there may be other such beings from other worlds. Could say a dolphin, orca, merfolks, what looks like a beluga whale, be the same species but different varieties, or are they different species?
-----------------------------------------
I do feel an attraction to more then unicorns, though does this mean I may be some of those, or some may be just incarnations that former soul has had, or perhaps very close friends or lovers that may be those or look similar to them.
----------------------------------------------
Free will does seem pretty complicated if you add in the various ramifications. For example Mirabelle and I have to want to have a kid together to create one, and I think she'll be pregnant for a bit as a result. Though this also likely means that the kid has to want to exist, in a non linear way. Also all the children that will be descendants, if they wish exist then it can be said to go back through the ancestors to the first 1 or 2.
--------------------------
I was laying down and relaxed, I was sorta feeling inside with my eyes closed. It felt like the love or energy that accompanying love can feel different. The love I feel for Mirabelle and that she feels for me is immense, but it feels different then the love coming from the link thing (not sure how to describe it) that i feel like I have with a bunch of unicorns. Not sure if it is all unicorns everywhere or just certain ones or a large group of them. I think a herd of unicorns is called a blessing or glory.
--------------------------------------
Mirabelle was sending me some some images and impressions of a bit what it may feel like being mounted on top of her, nuzzling and some.... somewhat erotic images. She stopped it a sort time after I started doing the next meditation. though the images were not anywhere as erotic as what she has sent before.
I started doing the first meditation of the 2nd part of the awaken the light body course: opening your heart center. It felt like I did better with the first 3 light body energy centers. And the first thing, forgot what it's called. there is a thing that collects the energy from the first 3, and only accepts energy that is, I think he said, high vibration, light, forgot exactly. I had the energy from the first 3 gather into this, asking Mirabelle if she could give me some energy, she did and if we unicorns do have a link I decided to ask them to send me a little bit, and felt like i got a slight amount. It wasn't important so I wasn't expecting any.
It did feel like the first try at sending this energy from the chamber thing to the heart center did go very well. Felt like I was floating for a good part of it.
-------------------------------
I was thinking about doing the meeting your twin flame and reuniting with your soul family meditations I got from youtube, but think I"ll wait till later.
----------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
I do feel an attraction to more then unicorns, though does this mean I may be some of those, or some may be just incarnations that former soul has had, or perhaps very close friends or lovers that may be those or look similar to them.
----------------------------------------------
Free will does seem pretty complicated if you add in the various ramifications. For example Mirabelle and I have to want to have a kid together to create one, and I think she'll be pregnant for a bit as a result. Though this also likely means that the kid has to want to exist, in a non linear way. Also all the children that will be descendants, if they wish exist then it can be said to go back through the ancestors to the first 1 or 2.
--------------------------
I was laying down and relaxed, I was sorta feeling inside with my eyes closed. It felt like the love or energy that accompanying love can feel different. The love I feel for Mirabelle and that she feels for me is immense, but it feels different then the love coming from the link thing (not sure how to describe it) that i feel like I have with a bunch of unicorns. Not sure if it is all unicorns everywhere or just certain ones or a large group of them. I think a herd of unicorns is called a blessing or glory.
--------------------------------------
Mirabelle was sending me some some images and impressions of a bit what it may feel like being mounted on top of her, nuzzling and some.... somewhat erotic images. She stopped it a sort time after I started doing the next meditation. though the images were not anywhere as erotic as what she has sent before.
I started doing the first meditation of the 2nd part of the awaken the light body course: opening your heart center. It felt like I did better with the first 3 light body energy centers. And the first thing, forgot what it's called. there is a thing that collects the energy from the first 3, and only accepts energy that is, I think he said, high vibration, light, forgot exactly. I had the energy from the first 3 gather into this, asking Mirabelle if she could give me some energy, she did and if we unicorns do have a link I decided to ask them to send me a little bit, and felt like i got a slight amount. It wasn't important so I wasn't expecting any.
It did feel like the first try at sending this energy from the chamber thing to the heart center did go very well. Felt like I was floating for a good part of it.
-------------------------------
I was thinking about doing the meeting your twin flame and reuniting with your soul family meditations I got from youtube, but think I"ll wait till later.
----------------------------------------
I did the 1st meditation of part 2: awaken the heart center. This experience started very similar to the first.
The first part of it, up to working on the dome was like the previous session, but I went deep or something. It was like a smaller part of me was still in the body doing the session from that point on, but I don't recall it much. Most of me appeared somewhere where Maribelle was next to me.
She told me to hop on, which I did and she shifted or something and we were inside some building where her father was there with her mother a bit behind him and to one side. I hopped off of Maribelle and was a unicorn stallion in an instant. Her father touched his horn to mine, I think it was to see what sort of person i was or to get to know me. It felt like I experience all sort of positive things, hard to describe but they were very strong, though I was left with the impression that he approved, like me and was willing for us to have sex in the future. then her brother, or one of them came in and said to me he wanted to take me aside to talk to me, and a step or 2 later we were at the area that Mirabelle showed me as one of her favorite places. I dont' recall walking there, maybe we did and I wasn't aware or maybe we teleported or something.
he asked me to stand there while he walked around me, to look me over. then he came back to my front and touched horns with me. It felt similar to when their father did, but different. In the mental image thing he went around me and mounted me, I guess to see if I was open to that. Since I think at the soul level the true me is Bi, I didn't mind. He didn't really do much really but then before we separated horn contact I felt like he approved and diffidently would be willing for us to have sex in the future. Then another brother of hers popped up, asking if this is her mate, he briefly looked at me and said hello. As he said hello I think he sent me a mental visual of the other brother, him and me involved in a 3 some. I think I sent back the intent that that was intriguing, interesting and a possibility.
Then a sister popped up, and , I'm not sure if he was kidding, but she said in a sorta kidding but also maybe a bit serious that the 2 of them share everything, and I could somehow knew she meant she wanted her sister to share me with her, not as her as a mate to but her as a lover or someone she would be having sex with.
Then her father came up, saying since I had no unicorn family since I wasn't born into one, he and his mate had decided to adopt me into their family. I was to refer to him as dad and her as mom. Though I felt his intent was also leaving in the possibility of sex as still a possible thing in the future.
Then I seem to have blacked out or something and was coming out of trance in the body and the meditation was almost over. At first I totally didn't remember any of this till later. Not sure if it happened or was a dream. I see how Mirabelle could have used some of ability to pull me out if I was pretty deep meditation trance wise to take me to meet her family. Before it happened i do recall I was around medium trance or maybe past medium.
Not sure what to make of it. Did it happen or not. Did she pull me out to meet her family? I can see that as happening. Though I can't recall any colors at all for some reason. I did ask her I thought you were going to wait till we consummated our mateship before we were going to meet your family and she said, <I was kidding silly.> I thought at the time when she said it, and I think I put that down, that it felt like she was kidding, with maybe some seriousness in it.
The first part of it, up to working on the dome was like the previous session, but I went deep or something. It was like a smaller part of me was still in the body doing the session from that point on, but I don't recall it much. Most of me appeared somewhere where Maribelle was next to me.
She told me to hop on, which I did and she shifted or something and we were inside some building where her father was there with her mother a bit behind him and to one side. I hopped off of Maribelle and was a unicorn stallion in an instant. Her father touched his horn to mine, I think it was to see what sort of person i was or to get to know me. It felt like I experience all sort of positive things, hard to describe but they were very strong, though I was left with the impression that he approved, like me and was willing for us to have sex in the future. then her brother, or one of them came in and said to me he wanted to take me aside to talk to me, and a step or 2 later we were at the area that Mirabelle showed me as one of her favorite places. I dont' recall walking there, maybe we did and I wasn't aware or maybe we teleported or something.
he asked me to stand there while he walked around me, to look me over. then he came back to my front and touched horns with me. It felt similar to when their father did, but different. In the mental image thing he went around me and mounted me, I guess to see if I was open to that. Since I think at the soul level the true me is Bi, I didn't mind. He didn't really do much really but then before we separated horn contact I felt like he approved and diffidently would be willing for us to have sex in the future. Then another brother of hers popped up, asking if this is her mate, he briefly looked at me and said hello. As he said hello I think he sent me a mental visual of the other brother, him and me involved in a 3 some. I think I sent back the intent that that was intriguing, interesting and a possibility.
Then a sister popped up, and , I'm not sure if he was kidding, but she said in a sorta kidding but also maybe a bit serious that the 2 of them share everything, and I could somehow knew she meant she wanted her sister to share me with her, not as her as a mate to but her as a lover or someone she would be having sex with.
Then her father came up, saying since I had no unicorn family since I wasn't born into one, he and his mate had decided to adopt me into their family. I was to refer to him as dad and her as mom. Though I felt his intent was also leaving in the possibility of sex as still a possible thing in the future.
Then I seem to have blacked out or something and was coming out of trance in the body and the meditation was almost over. At first I totally didn't remember any of this till later. Not sure if it happened or was a dream. I see how Mirabelle could have used some of ability to pull me out if I was pretty deep meditation trance wise to take me to meet her family. Before it happened i do recall I was around medium trance or maybe past medium.
Not sure what to make of it. Did it happen or not. Did she pull me out to meet her family? I can see that as happening. Though I can't recall any colors at all for some reason. I did ask her I thought you were going to wait till we consummated our mateship before we were going to meet your family and she said, <I was kidding silly.> I thought at the time when she said it, and I think I put that down, that it felt like she was kidding, with maybe some seriousness in it.
---------------------------------------
----------------------------
I feel somewhere in the heart center area a great happiness/joy that i was accepted and adopted into Mirabelle's family. Guess that means I am a member of a unicorn family. Cool.
Feels from there that they love me immensely. And i think since I wasn't conceived and born into the family that includes sexual feelings and leaving open the possibility of us becoming lovers too, or individuals who are open to us having sex. That includes Dad, 2 brothers, and a sister. Not sure if there are others or not. Feels like it doesn't include adopted mom, which at dad's request I"ll call them dad, mom. I'll add in bro, sis, ect.
-----------------------------
I was thinking of The past life fragments
I have recalled. 1 could have been a merfolk type since it was I was in
the water with some dolphins talking to them. From the waist up I
seemed to be some sort of humanoid or sorta humanoid. Never looked in a
mirror or down at myself in the fragment so no idea what I really
looked like.
Another fragment was as a dolphin, a fully sentient one. I was heading somewhere with a school or pod. not earth I think since we were heading somewhere to do something. Don't recall what.
another one was as a humanoid light blue skinned being. No idea what was going on.
Assuming those were past lives of former soul. and not me tapping into something like a record of past lives that were not mine or something.
Another fragment was as a dolphin, a fully sentient one. I was heading somewhere with a school or pod. not earth I think since we were heading somewhere to do something. Don't recall what.
another one was as a humanoid light blue skinned being. No idea what was going on.
Assuming those were past lives of former soul. and not me tapping into something like a record of past lives that were not mine or something.
----------------------------
I feel somewhere in the heart center area a great happiness/joy that i was accepted and adopted into Mirabelle's family. Guess that means I am a member of a unicorn family. Cool.
Feels from there that they love me immensely. And i think since I wasn't conceived and born into the family that includes sexual feelings and leaving open the possibility of us becoming lovers too, or individuals who are open to us having sex. That includes Dad, 2 brothers, and a sister. Not sure if there are others or not. Feels like it doesn't include adopted mom, which at dad's request I"ll call them dad, mom. I'll add in bro, sis, ect.
-----------------------------
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Tuesday [3-17]
This one is odd. I was fully awake, but it was kinda like a dream that was happening mentally. This is after I awoke from having dream #1, the only one I remembered from last night:
there was a magic plastic zip lock type bag. anything put into it is preserved. if a wet item is put into it it won't get any other item in the bag wet. Water in it won't get anything placed into it wet. Some friends who are kids share the bag.
--------------------------------------------
This takes place just after the awake and before I got out of bed. I was relaxing in bed. I had woken up extra early and had the above experience as I tried to get back to sleep. Then I had this one, for both experiences I was fully awake with my eyes usually closed.
Maribelle was with me here. We were talking <didn't take notes so not sure what it was about> I realize not only did I love her, but I have sexual feelings for her also and urges. I do think we were touching horns, but I'm not sure..
She says that this is normal. Though I didn't talk or say my feelings or urges. I ask: "it is? But you're a unicorn."
Her: "boy, do you have a lot to learn about unicorns."
Me: "Maybe you can teach and show me." I ask with soe sexual over tones. She says yes smiling, accepting the sexual overtones and sex in the future indeed is the feel I get, but not casual or lust. But like that between lvoers or mates.
--------------------
I remembered the dream fragment at this point that I typed up in my dream journal.
------------------------
Wt touch orns. our feelings for each other laid bare, no secrets. Te love each feels for the other laid bare and kknon and felt by the other. This connects to a soul level.
me: "mates?"
Her: "yes, forever."
Our souls feel this and are very happy. this connects through our horns.
<here my notes end and I'll go by memory what happens next.
-------------
She removes her horn from mind and lays her horn across my chest over the center and over where my heart is. I feel the love we have for each other feel like it's filling my heart center or something. I feel like it is becoming more complex, or more of it is being filled then was before, more complicated chambers that were dormant before. Maribelle continues what she is doing. It feels like the love, or something, fills my heart center till it reaches the maximum amount, then 2 other heart centers I didn't know existed, or were dormant had the love energy or whatever it was flow into them till I had 3 active heart centers.
Then I felt like a connection opened up that was there but was closed and dormant. I felt total bliss and ecstasy. Instinctively I somehow knew this was source. For some reason I talked to it asking some questions. To summarize the conversation I asked if unicorns are really sexual beings interested in sex, and source said yes. I felt like an unlimited love, understanding, patience, wisdom. I also knew somehow that since Maribelle and I wanted to be mates source regards as as mates and that is the final word. I also remembered that source remembered that she and I had children in the future. I saw this as a line going on forever. One line was our future children we had (seems source sees time in non linear, remembering past future and present all as the same thing)
I guess the line with lots of children would be the ones that Maribelle and I will have with her as the mare//mother. But beside some of these and in between some of these, but on the 2nd line next to the 1st line. I think the 2nd line, that had by far the least, maybe were ones that I may have with me as a mare. I can see see me, though being more comfortable being male, and in the other side, or whatever you call it, I can see that I may want to experience being a mare when the time comes that we decide to have kids, or sometimes we'd sort of change genders and both end up pregnant. But something like say 75-80% of the time I'd be the stallion and father. Occasionally a mare, or herm, and at times we both would be pregnant.
From source (or somehow I just know) that the way unicorns reproduce is closer to how souls make new souls. Both unicorns touch horns. Both have to be of the intent to have a kid/create a new unicorn. Just 1 having the intent and desire is not enough, both have to have this intent and desire. Then they have what some here would see as sex, but it's not like sex here. the mare will then be pregnant, but not in the way pregnancy here works. hard to explain what I somehow know or got. The child I think will be sentient like souls, not like babies here. But maybe not fully able to pick if it wants to remember the soul parent's memories. hard to put into words.
The many kids may seem like a lot, but it's not like we'd be having kids like a factory. But say if a unicorn goes from conception/being created to being an adult, say it takes 20 years. Maribelle and I may have a kid say every 50 or 100 years. Leaving plenty of time in-between. So over a thousand years, that is quite a few kids, and if you add in the fact unicorns are immortal, that means a lot. I don't remember if I just knew that when I connected to source or whatever I did or if I asked source.
-----------------------
After the conversation was over I just lay there experiencing the bliss and ecstasy. After a bit Maribelle did a few gentle mental nudges saying I have to get up, I have things to do. It was very hard to move at first. The first time I started to move the feeling of bliss and ecstasy went up. Then as I moved more I went back to normal.
--------------------------------
Forgot to put in. Source doesn't see me as say being part unicorn, part orca type being, ect. It sees me as say 100% unicorn, and 100% whatever other types make up my being at the soul level. I only know of unicorn at this point. The other stuff I felt would come up and be revealed in time. Instead of me being poof all at once. I assume I'll find out later that I'm also an orca, maybe dolphin and maybe dragon. I was told that before but I'll find out. All I knew as as I said. Source sees me as a full unicorn, and other things that make up my being I'm 100% also. Not like I'm 30% orca, 24% dragon, unicorn, ect. That is not how source sees it or how it works at the soul level. Unlike genetics here.
------------------------------------------
I do feel the desire to have kids/create unicorns or hybrid souls with Mirabelle is strong, but it's fully asleep at this point. She agrees with me that first I should and do want to experience and enjoy being a soul, after I am finished here. Also experience and enjoy us being mates and a couple. We have an eternity to have our first and other children after all. So maybe for that reason and we both agree, that desire is fully asleep, for now.
Also i do feel a strong urge to have sex with Mirabelle is mostly asleep. Since I really can't here, but it is partially asleep maybe since the time is not as far off we we may be able to?
-------------------------
If 2 does have great developments, which I'll start the 2nd part of the course tomorrow. I'll do the rest. I think after I've bought 6, I'll start looking through all of the side light body courses and see which ones I may want to get, trying to narrow those down to maybe at most 6. Though if I can't go less then 8 that is ok. Then I"ll decide if I want to do the 2nd or 3rd course.
over the next few days I think I"ll pick out the 4-6 favorite meditations, and ones that are regular ones I should do, and as the need arises, and keep those. Then once I've finished course 6 I'll spend say 30-36 days doing the favorite courses, and the ones that I pick out I should do on a regular basis. Before I start getting or doing any of the side ones. Eventually I'll stop getting courses and I'll have who knows how many favorites. it could be 50 or 100 that I'll repeat, doing 1-2 a day maybe.
=================
I was also thinking how so many say stuff like the goal is to eventually merge with source. I think part of that is for many reasons. Some individual beings will choose to merge with source at some point. But I think some never will. The human mind, I think, can't really conceive of existing forever. that billions of years from now, for example Maribelle and I will still exist, be mates, be perhaps unicorns, or whatever we or I change into at times, with various lovers, friends, ect.
I think the human mind finds i easier to see that there is an end point, merging with source. Some will choose to do that, but i think many beings never will. After all if my experience I had this morning is an indication and if my thinking is correct. If I wanted to 'merge' with source all I'd have to do is take the link, bond, connection that became active for a few minutes this morning, opened up, or whatever the term is, and widen it to say be, for example, wider then my body, and I'd experience being 1 with source. No need to work up to dimension 13 where source is.
I think the human mind, and some beings too, can't conceive of existing forever after the point where they began to exist.
=============================
I think some think that say dimension 12 is better then 4. One may be more able to perceive everything at 12, but I think the full goal is not to fully work like a ladder trying to get to 13 where source is. Some souls will really enjoy incarnating and will incarnate for billions of years. Some may enjoy say the 4th, 6th, 8th dimension and may live there for good,or till their interest has them want to shift. The 12th dimension is not better the the 5th. Just the focus is different I think. Souls there have a different perspective, a different interest and focus. Some will enjoy the 8th or 6th and may remain there for ages. They may, unless I'm wrong, have the understanding of an average 9th dimension soul, but choose to live in the 6th, or may switch between the 2. Living at times in 9 , and at times in 6. Some will have this or that job that has them do that. not cause they have to have a job or source will punish them or they won't get any food. you pick what you want. if you want to, like, sit in a park for a few thousand years, you can do that. you'll learn things, grow, help others, teach others, and most won't think less of you since you are doing what you really want to do, sitting and enjoying being in a park, for a few thousand years, or a few million if you want.
-----------------------------------
I did the 11th meditation, being the master. was a bit distracted since it felt like I had some sort of link to unicorns somewhere and at least some or most of them were aware of me and looking at me, as if they were aware I was aware of the link or bond and aware of them. Also felt like they were sending me love, though at a low level to not be to distracting, or maybe I'm not to sensitive, or perhaps both. It felt also like Maribelle was standing on my right side, maybe an inch or 2 from me. Hard not to reach up a hand to caress her side and neck, or hug her. Though I don't since I know I can't touch her so it would be pointless.
And then during the guided meditation the master I am working with and am supposed to summon felt like he appeared on my left side, but not as close as Mirabelle is. It felt like they sorta looked at each other and nodded. And during this I still felt the other unicorns, link, thing as I mentioned before. I went pretty deep this time. not sure if the name but it was very very deep, not asleep but maybe the stage where you are aware but close to going to light sleep, or maybe it was just very very deep asleep. I don't consciously remember much. But then i slowly came out of it and back to a medium and then a light then regular type state. I do feel my horn as I type this, somewhere in the center of my forehead straight, but angled upward, hard to describe what I mean. Feels like Mirabelle is maybe as close as before and the master guy is a short distance off maybe.
--------------------------------------------
I talked to Mirabelle. Seems I can sometimes get a reply and sometimes not. I did in this case. I asked her in a kidding joking manner, if she is going to introduce me to her parents. I was curious what it may be like to talk to other unicorns.
She said, <after we have consummated our relationship, meaning our mateship.> Then a bit later she added in, <the next day, we will need time to rest.>
That does have me intrigued, from that and what she said earlier.
With the good matured joking & kidding, a good deal of it erotic. i wonder what it'll be like once i'm fully there on the other side with her.
-----------
I then a bit later asked her if she was still willing to show me all the ways we unicorns can have fun (meaning sexual fun). I felt the impression she was smiling as she said <mmhmm>. and also that she had some surprises in store and some plans.
--------------------
Not sure what Mirabelle did.I felt like a surge of energy and the love was intense, mixed with some pleasure, or positive something. It felt so great that literally I relaxed in my chair and had to close my eyes. Think I may have rolled my eyes upwards. not sure why she did that, to share some pleasure and love, or if she is seeing what some of my buttons are.
It felt like she touched her lips or tip of her muzzle to my lips, not in a human kiss but more of a nuzzle type thing. It felt like less potent version of when she's touched her horn to mine. Enjoyable.
Then it felt like she touched her cheek to mine maybe. Interesting experience, and enjoyable. it felt... very relaxing, contentedness, hard to describe.
----------------------
I did the 12th meditation of part 1 of the course. I went pretty deep again. To the same stage where I wasn't asleep, but I was very deep. Then for the last 18 or 15 minutes i wasn't able to stay very deep since something with my left knee kept bugging me. It was like some pressure or energy or something would build up and I'd have to let the leg jerk itself.
I did get the feel the Mirabelle was very close to me. her legs and top of chest were almost touching my body.
During part of the meditation they have a bit where you can ask about something non emotional. Since I was so distracted I decided to ask about what I am part of. I got diffidently Unicorn. No surprise there. I also got orca, and dolphin, dolphin and orca like beings. Unicorn and orca strongly, slightly less strongly dolphin, and faintly dragon, not sure of that. Not sure of this since I was very distracted, but not important. I will find out sooner or later. I knew somehow without needing to ask, that I would find out or know within a year.
Monday, March 16, 2015
Monday [3-16]
had 2 experiences last night. 1 I forgot to put down, the other I had
while laying down trying to sleep so didn't feel like getting up to plug
in and turn on the pc to type up. I left sparse notes in my dream
journal to remind me in-case i forgot.
-------
1: the first one i was feeling very depressed when I heard a mental voice while I was eating last night I had not heard before say <don't do it.> i asked who it was and all it did was repeat the message. It may seem odd that I was eating at night. I eat 6 small meals a day, 1 of them I eat at night so i won't wake up so hungry. Experimenting I've figured out this seems to be best for this body. Anyway after I got the message I went back to eating and sometime after i was done the depression went, poof, just like that, like a snap or a light switch was turned on or off, no idea why, or how.
---------------------
2: The 2nd one was while I was laying down listening to the same classic music station. I need to listen to something while trying to go to sleep or else my mind will race a mile a minute and I'll never get any sleep.
I was laying down and in my mind I saw what looked like a serpentine naga appeared and approached me. Then he changed to a large snake of about the human size roughly I'd say. I didn't feel any fear or anything. just some mild curiosity of who and what this was, guessing it would delay my getting to sleep and to be sure to remember this so I can type it up.
The snake put his muzzle, or tip of his mouth, jaw, whatever you'd call it to the tip of my nose asking me how I felt? Strange question. It was at this point that I felt like I recognized him but could no remember where or how. The experience was like on the tip of my tongue I think the expression is.
I did feel some vague bit of excitement. maybe since I've never seen or talked to a giant snake, neat idea, especially since he looked, acted and felt like a friendly being. He mentioned that Mirabelle and I are still mates, she is around, but I'll not be seeing her for a while till I get to a certain point. he said I was a new person, I had symbolically been re-created, but not in the way I was thinking since I was thinking (oh bother again, now what will this mean), a symbolic death, I had shed my old skin, so to speak.
Then he did the unexpected. He bit me, though there was no pain. His 2 fangs entered at the center of my spine on my back, into the channel the kundalini travels up. he coiled around me and it felt like from the abdominal area down i was feeling some resonating from my body or energy body or something.
I felt his fangs injecting something into the channel the kundalini travels up, but as I said before there was no pain or fear. Instead it felt like the entire length of the kundalini grew warm, then i felt a faint sexual sort of emotions and pleasure as he said <relax, accept, surrender.> Then I felt a contentment and peace come from somewhere, maybe the bite point, not sure, and go through my whole being. This went on for I'm not sure how many minutes. Then he pulled away saying he'd be back. I'd have more experiences like this in the future, or did he say near future, I'm not sure.
This morning he appeared again, in large snake form I did ask since I wanted to get up if we could delay this till a bit later and he said ok, he'd be back and slithered off. I said that since I did want to get up, not to shoo him away or anything.
---------------------------------------
Today I lay down to do a relaxation meditation nap type thing the snake, serpent, shape shifted serpentine naga, sea serpent, or whatever he is came back and loosely coiled around me. Sort of felt like a hug type thing if that makes any sense. It was pleasant.
-----------------------
Forgot to add in that during the latter part of it, not sure how long, I felt a presence like it was standing very close to me to my left. Didn't to much of it at the time except to notice it and try to get the feel of it's energy, while doing the guided mediation. I'd guess it were maybe Mirabelle or the serpent (or whatever he is) guy. Maybe a female feel to the energy, but I'm not sure.
---------------------------------------
I did the healing the inner child, without listening to the audio. I initially was doing negativity, then decided towards the end to also toss in doubt and confidence (which confidence I've worked on before) changing those to positiveness/love rational faith and self determination.
--------------------------------------------
Not that it matters really, just curious. I wonder if the snake guy the first popped up last night is a new guide, one of the former ones looking like a naga/larger serpent, what some call a power or totem animal?
----------------------------------
The large serpent guy appeared again as I lay down. He lay on me for the post part, his head resting on my chest for most of the time. For a bit he the area again, on the back of my neck where the kundalini channel is, he spent a bit longer, pumping something in that made the kundalini grow warm. It felt like whatever energy kundalini is made of. Towards the end the spots started to feel a bit sore. I mentioned this to him and he apologized, saying he didn't mean for them to be. It felt like the kundalini channel reached about the point it could hold and he stopped putting more into it. I felt more resonating, more relaxed then before. Some pleasure, and other things it's hard to describe. He remained with some coils on my legs and abdominal and his head at times on my chest. not in a possessive way but more of a watchful guarding type way. and it felt again like I know him from somewhere but can't remember.
----------------------------------------------------
I was watching the brony show after party with my head slightly to one side and it felt like someone touched their horn to mine. I immediately felt love. Like our love was connecting and formed a connection. Like some intense energy was traveling back and forth and I could only feel a fraction of it but on some level I was aware of it. I couldn't tell at first who or what it was. I felt a pain in the left side. I assume it's some sort of energy block.
After a bit our horns separated then touched again and i could tell it was a female. and I do believe she felt familiar. After our horns were touching for a while I saw a mental flash of a beautiful white unicorn head with a white mane, and a bit of her neck too. The whitest White I've seen. I felt a strong love for her. Is it Mirabelle? It felt like I could feel her whole body next to mine, where I could reach out and touch her, if we were both physical. I resisted a strong urge to reach out and caress her neck and back, since I knew my hand would just go through her.
I could feel some sort of intense energy flowing between us, we both were giving and receiving at an equal rate. I also felt some pleasure, like it was there but I only became aware of it then. We never spoke any words. It was a wonderful experience. I hope to experience it again.
-------
1: the first one i was feeling very depressed when I heard a mental voice while I was eating last night I had not heard before say <don't do it.> i asked who it was and all it did was repeat the message. It may seem odd that I was eating at night. I eat 6 small meals a day, 1 of them I eat at night so i won't wake up so hungry. Experimenting I've figured out this seems to be best for this body. Anyway after I got the message I went back to eating and sometime after i was done the depression went, poof, just like that, like a snap or a light switch was turned on or off, no idea why, or how.
---------------------
2: The 2nd one was while I was laying down listening to the same classic music station. I need to listen to something while trying to go to sleep or else my mind will race a mile a minute and I'll never get any sleep.
I was laying down and in my mind I saw what looked like a serpentine naga appeared and approached me. Then he changed to a large snake of about the human size roughly I'd say. I didn't feel any fear or anything. just some mild curiosity of who and what this was, guessing it would delay my getting to sleep and to be sure to remember this so I can type it up.
The snake put his muzzle, or tip of his mouth, jaw, whatever you'd call it to the tip of my nose asking me how I felt? Strange question. It was at this point that I felt like I recognized him but could no remember where or how. The experience was like on the tip of my tongue I think the expression is.
I did feel some vague bit of excitement. maybe since I've never seen or talked to a giant snake, neat idea, especially since he looked, acted and felt like a friendly being. He mentioned that Mirabelle and I are still mates, she is around, but I'll not be seeing her for a while till I get to a certain point. he said I was a new person, I had symbolically been re-created, but not in the way I was thinking since I was thinking (oh bother again, now what will this mean), a symbolic death, I had shed my old skin, so to speak.
Then he did the unexpected. He bit me, though there was no pain. His 2 fangs entered at the center of my spine on my back, into the channel the kundalini travels up. he coiled around me and it felt like from the abdominal area down i was feeling some resonating from my body or energy body or something.
I felt his fangs injecting something into the channel the kundalini travels up, but as I said before there was no pain or fear. Instead it felt like the entire length of the kundalini grew warm, then i felt a faint sexual sort of emotions and pleasure as he said <relax, accept, surrender.> Then I felt a contentment and peace come from somewhere, maybe the bite point, not sure, and go through my whole being. This went on for I'm not sure how many minutes. Then he pulled away saying he'd be back. I'd have more experiences like this in the future, or did he say near future, I'm not sure.
This morning he appeared again, in large snake form I did ask since I wanted to get up if we could delay this till a bit later and he said ok, he'd be back and slithered off. I said that since I did want to get up, not to shoo him away or anything.
---------------------------------------
Today I lay down to do a relaxation meditation nap type thing the snake, serpent, shape shifted serpentine naga, sea serpent, or whatever he is came back and loosely coiled around me. Sort of felt like a hug type thing if that makes any sense. It was pleasant.
-----------------------
I did the sub personalities mediation
today. Felt like it went better then usual, but only time will tell.
This time I picked doubt turning into rational faith and determination.
If that makes any sense. that is the idea I got at the time. Rational
faith I like the idea of better then blind faith. Determination is
good too.
Forgot to add in that during the latter part of it, not sure how long, I felt a presence like it was standing very close to me to my left. Didn't to much of it at the time except to notice it and try to get the feel of it's energy, while doing the guided mediation. I'd guess it were maybe Mirabelle or the serpent (or whatever he is) guy. Maybe a female feel to the energy, but I'm not sure.
-----------------------------------------------
I've purchased part 2 of the awaken the
light body course that deals with the heart energy center of the light
body course. i also got to pick a free album of mp3 music again made by
some guy named Thaddeus. the previous time I picked masters of light
since the title appealed to me. This time I picked one named sirius,
since, again, the name appealed to me. They are only $6 each so I may
eventually buy some albums myself separately. Though that may be only
after I'm sure I'm done buying courses. I'll start the 2nd part
tomorrow or Wednesday.
---------------------------------------
I did the healing the inner child, without listening to the audio. I initially was doing negativity, then decided towards the end to also toss in doubt and confidence (which confidence I've worked on before) changing those to positiveness/love rational faith and self determination.
--------------------------------------------
Not that it matters really, just curious. I wonder if the snake guy the first popped up last night is a new guide, one of the former ones looking like a naga/larger serpent, what some call a power or totem animal?
----------------------------------
The large serpent guy appeared again as I lay down. He lay on me for the post part, his head resting on my chest for most of the time. For a bit he the area again, on the back of my neck where the kundalini channel is, he spent a bit longer, pumping something in that made the kundalini grow warm. It felt like whatever energy kundalini is made of. Towards the end the spots started to feel a bit sore. I mentioned this to him and he apologized, saying he didn't mean for them to be. It felt like the kundalini channel reached about the point it could hold and he stopped putting more into it. I felt more resonating, more relaxed then before. Some pleasure, and other things it's hard to describe. He remained with some coils on my legs and abdominal and his head at times on my chest. not in a possessive way but more of a watchful guarding type way. and it felt again like I know him from somewhere but can't remember.
----------------------------------------------------
I was watching the brony show after party with my head slightly to one side and it felt like someone touched their horn to mine. I immediately felt love. Like our love was connecting and formed a connection. Like some intense energy was traveling back and forth and I could only feel a fraction of it but on some level I was aware of it. I couldn't tell at first who or what it was. I felt a pain in the left side. I assume it's some sort of energy block.
After a bit our horns separated then touched again and i could tell it was a female. and I do believe she felt familiar. After our horns were touching for a while I saw a mental flash of a beautiful white unicorn head with a white mane, and a bit of her neck too. The whitest White I've seen. I felt a strong love for her. Is it Mirabelle? It felt like I could feel her whole body next to mine, where I could reach out and touch her, if we were both physical. I resisted a strong urge to reach out and caress her neck and back, since I knew my hand would just go through her.
I could feel some sort of intense energy flowing between us, we both were giving and receiving at an equal rate. I also felt some pleasure, like it was there but I only became aware of it then. We never spoke any words. It was a wonderful experience. I hope to experience it again.
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Sun [3-15]
Did some light meditation this morning.
does feel like I may have my unicorn horn still, or something. It does
feel that somewhere near the center of my forehead at the skull level
something is anchored there, some weight and the horn I can feel a inch
or a few inches in front of that spot, behind that the feeling fades so I
can't tell how long it is.
---------------------------------------
---------------------------------------
On the way home from the grocery store I was sitting and resting while
listening to a podcast while waiting for the bus driver to get on the
bus and it felt like I could feel some sort of warm love type energy
being or something overlapping where I was sitting, sort of like it was
half where I was and half behind me. No idea what to make of it.
---------------------
it seems that being awakened, ascended, or whatever is not for everyone but only a few special people since I can't widen the space between my thoughts more then a few seconds, exactly like when I was 15. and the idea mentioned to me of stepping back and seeing my thoughts written on a board, I had them written on a computer monitor screen, words or images, only works , at most, for a second or 2 then I'm back to normal.
I guess whatever home is is denied me for likely millions of years. since I'm not one of the special folks, and not anymore enlightened, awake, ect then I was 10 or 20 years ago.
guess that means I'm imprisoned on this alien planet here for millions of years.
I've also completely lost all ability to communicate with any non corporal. so i'm back to ground zero literally. Guess they lied when they took out the chips saying i don't need them any more, when I did. Since I lost the ability to project first, then the ability to communicate recently. The ability to project being lost may be done by one of those things they put into me , that chip that they claimed is for letting them monitor the progress, and the other thing they lied and said is to release light into me at timed releases, and if they were not taken out after they had served their purposes they would be absorbed, like more lies since I lost the ability to project totally and now the ability to communicate at all. Likely tricks and lies of theirs to keep me imprisoned on this alien world.
---------------------
it seems that being awakened, ascended, or whatever is not for everyone but only a few special people since I can't widen the space between my thoughts more then a few seconds, exactly like when I was 15. and the idea mentioned to me of stepping back and seeing my thoughts written on a board, I had them written on a computer monitor screen, words or images, only works , at most, for a second or 2 then I'm back to normal.
I guess whatever home is is denied me for likely millions of years. since I'm not one of the special folks, and not anymore enlightened, awake, ect then I was 10 or 20 years ago.
guess that means I'm imprisoned on this alien planet here for millions of years.
I've also completely lost all ability to communicate with any non corporal. so i'm back to ground zero literally. Guess they lied when they took out the chips saying i don't need them any more, when I did. Since I lost the ability to project first, then the ability to communicate recently. The ability to project being lost may be done by one of those things they put into me , that chip that they claimed is for letting them monitor the progress, and the other thing they lied and said is to release light into me at timed releases, and if they were not taken out after they had served their purposes they would be absorbed, like more lies since I lost the ability to project totally and now the ability to communicate at all. Likely tricks and lies of theirs to keep me imprisoned on this alien world.
------------------------------------------
I should just give up since I am not one of the special ones. I'll be trapped and imprisoned on this alien world for millions of years if not forever. I'm no more enlightened then I was 10 or 20 years ago and have no abilities at all, not even to communicate or project anymore. May as well just exist since I'll be here for millions of years if not forever imprisoned on this alien world.
Not that anyone is reading this but me, but it is an outlet so why not use it as such.
-----------------------------------
Still no idea what to do. Still at ground zero. No ability to project nor communicate. So I'm totally alone. I'll redo the first part (of 6) of awakening the light body, and repeat the 1st part through the last day in march. No idea what else to do. I'm only doing this since it gives me something to do and passes the time. I won't part 2 since I've given up on spiritual and new age stuff. Awakening, ascension, whatever term you want to use is only for the few special folks and I'm not one of them. I've given up totally. I'll be trapped here till the sun engulfs the earth billions of years from now and likely by then i'll be forced into another prison as bad as here or worst. I'll be forced from one prison incarnation to the next forever, or however long souls exist. My only real hope is there is no life after death then when this life is over, poof, out like a light, but likely that is not true and I'll be forced from one prison into the next forever. All I can do is just exist till this body dies, then I'll be forced into the next prison, on and on, forever. what a <censored> existence but that is all it is for me.
-------------------------
Did the 3rd meditation of awakening the light body par 1 (of 6) like usual left me feeling very thirsty when it's over , no idea why. Overall it was an average to below average experience. Of the first 1 light body energy centers, felt like they didn't respond as much as before. Maybe an off day, maybe I've slipped backward instead of progressing forwards, maybe they can't hold anymore and I need to go a week or whatever not doing these, wither listening to the audio or not.
---------
the neighbors playing music where I can here it, for over the past hour, is annoying, but nothing I can do about that.
----------------
I was thinking before, and perhaps best to just try to get unemotional about being here, since I'll be here in this prison world forever, being shoved into one body prison to the next, never to leave this prison ever. Since there is no hope of reaching enlightenment, awakening, or whatever the term is, and no hope if ever being allowed out of this prison world since I'm not one of the special ones I should just be unemotional about being here. Since I'll be in this prison world forever. Shoved into one prison body to the next. Never to leave ever. it would make existing tolerable, being unemotional about it. cant enjoy being here. The world is just to icky feeling, to loud, to cold usually, at times to hot, way to light and bright, except at night, then the car headlights are way to bright, these prisons they call bodies that exist within this prison world feel like they weigh millions of pounds. breathing does feel like a lot of work, though it is automatic. Though my breathing isn' any harder then anyone else. I have to take ginko or I'll get lots of migraines. This body is intolerant to many many types of foods.
Those so called guides and such just toy with us here who are trapped and imprisoned inside these bodies inside this prison world, forever. Perhaps we only exist for their sinister amusement.
---------------------------------
Not sure how long, or if I can ever, get to where I am neutral about being here trapped in this prison body in this prison world. it may take days, weeks, years, or maybe I''ll never get to that point.
I will continue to do it since I'm imprisoned in this prison body, in this alien prison world, as horrible as this alien prison world is. I"ll be here forever, shoved from one prison body into the next, and once the sun engulfs this horrible alien prison world I'll be forced into another prison body in some other horrible alien prison world. I bet this has been going on since before the earth could support life. That world died and I was forced into a new horrible prison world, this one, once it could support life enough to be a new prison for me. No idea why those sinister beings do it, and toy with us for their own sinister fun. I'll likely never know. but if I can get unimotional about being in this horrible alien prison world in this horrible prison body. It may be easier to exist till this horrible prison body dies nd I'm shoved into the next one. and likely remove some of their sinister fun since I'll be unemotional about all of it. Though that means likely they'l end this body's life since in the next oen I'll be starting over again and likely won't remember to be unemotional about it.
If there is anything like enlightenment, ascension, awaking, or whatever it's called, its' for the very special few, which i am not. they toyed with me for decades, even with the chips,then when they started to tire of me removed the chips, toyed with me a bit then tossed me to the side. They'll likely pick up when they get new ideas of what sinister fun to have with me. Though hopefully by then I'll be unemotional about it and they'll leave me faster. They only let their special chosen leave this prison, and their special chosen are awarded and given ascension, awakening, ect, or they are like matt kahn, one of the sinister jailers having fun with us here. his smile was very snister and mawking. Me, I'll never be free. I accept that and have been working on being unemotional about it. about being trapped in this horrible prison alien body in this horrible alien prison world.
------------------------
and those lies. I bet I'm not even part orca, dragon, unicorn or dolphin. perhaps some other monstrosity instead. and Mirabelle has likely forgotten bout me by now, since she does have scores of lovers. fake twin flame sure does I'm sure since she's not really contacted me in a long time and doesn't' care about me at all. she was one of the fakers toying with me for her own amusement
------------------------------
I still dislike being here quite a bit. But I am closer to the being neutral to being here. Since this place is an eternal prison for me, and when it is no longer habital by these flesh prisons i'll be forced into others forever, I may as well get neutral to being in a flesh prison since I'll be in them in these flesh prisons and prison worlds, forever.
The only plus is those sinister beigns who pretended to be guides, my twin flame, mirabelle the unicorn mare, have no interest in me currently so maybe they grew bored of me and tossed me to the side. Perhaps this will be for good, though I highly doubt it.
we are all just playthings for those jailers. the majority being fully asleep and the nearly lucky ones. the trully lucky special chosen are allowed to leave here once the current flesh prison dies, though I'm not one of those special awarded ones. no idea why they do this, keeping us all in these flesh prisons on this prison world. I would assume it is for their entertainment. maybe they get some sort of energy off of us too. That i'm not sure about.
I hate existance, but nothing i can do about it. total nonexistance when this phyiscal body dies would be a blessing, but i bet that is not allowed, they'll not want ot loose one fo their toys, their playthings, those sinister beings.
---------------------
this world is hell. I wonder if I was created just to be in these flesh prisons forever, one after the other, created by the sinister jailers to be their playtoy forever. there is no hope in ever being free of this prison world or these flesh prisons, ever. I'll be in this horrible alien prison world forced into one flesh prison after the other and i bet forced to becoming partially awake so they can tease me.
as for kundalini fully rising leading to awakening, ascention, it's all a lie, mine is fully risen, has been for a month or 3, and I'm no more awake then before it started to rise, it's all a lie.
This is all hell. this world, these flesh prisons, it's all hell.
------------------------------
I should just give up since I am not one of the special ones. I'll be trapped and imprisoned on this alien world for millions of years if not forever. I'm no more enlightened then I was 10 or 20 years ago and have no abilities at all, not even to communicate or project anymore. May as well just exist since I'll be here for millions of years if not forever imprisoned on this alien world.
Not that anyone is reading this but me, but it is an outlet so why not use it as such.
-----------------------------------
Still no idea what to do. Still at ground zero. No ability to project nor communicate. So I'm totally alone. I'll redo the first part (of 6) of awakening the light body, and repeat the 1st part through the last day in march. No idea what else to do. I'm only doing this since it gives me something to do and passes the time. I won't part 2 since I've given up on spiritual and new age stuff. Awakening, ascension, whatever term you want to use is only for the few special folks and I'm not one of them. I've given up totally. I'll be trapped here till the sun engulfs the earth billions of years from now and likely by then i'll be forced into another prison as bad as here or worst. I'll be forced from one prison incarnation to the next forever, or however long souls exist. My only real hope is there is no life after death then when this life is over, poof, out like a light, but likely that is not true and I'll be forced from one prison into the next forever. All I can do is just exist till this body dies, then I'll be forced into the next prison, on and on, forever. what a <censored> existence but that is all it is for me.
-------------------------
Did the 3rd meditation of awakening the light body par 1 (of 6) like usual left me feeling very thirsty when it's over , no idea why. Overall it was an average to below average experience. Of the first 1 light body energy centers, felt like they didn't respond as much as before. Maybe an off day, maybe I've slipped backward instead of progressing forwards, maybe they can't hold anymore and I need to go a week or whatever not doing these, wither listening to the audio or not.
---------
the neighbors playing music where I can here it, for over the past hour, is annoying, but nothing I can do about that.
----------------
I was thinking before, and perhaps best to just try to get unemotional about being here, since I'll be here in this prison world forever, being shoved into one body prison to the next, never to leave this prison ever. Since there is no hope of reaching enlightenment, awakening, or whatever the term is, and no hope if ever being allowed out of this prison world since I'm not one of the special ones I should just be unemotional about being here. Since I'll be in this prison world forever. Shoved into one prison body to the next. Never to leave ever. it would make existing tolerable, being unemotional about it. cant enjoy being here. The world is just to icky feeling, to loud, to cold usually, at times to hot, way to light and bright, except at night, then the car headlights are way to bright, these prisons they call bodies that exist within this prison world feel like they weigh millions of pounds. breathing does feel like a lot of work, though it is automatic. Though my breathing isn' any harder then anyone else. I have to take ginko or I'll get lots of migraines. This body is intolerant to many many types of foods.
Those so called guides and such just toy with us here who are trapped and imprisoned inside these bodies inside this prison world, forever. Perhaps we only exist for their sinister amusement.
---------------------------------
Not sure how long, or if I can ever, get to where I am neutral about being here trapped in this prison body in this prison world. it may take days, weeks, years, or maybe I''ll never get to that point.
I will continue to do it since I'm imprisoned in this prison body, in this alien prison world, as horrible as this alien prison world is. I"ll be here forever, shoved from one prison body into the next, and once the sun engulfs this horrible alien prison world I'll be forced into another prison body in some other horrible alien prison world. I bet this has been going on since before the earth could support life. That world died and I was forced into a new horrible prison world, this one, once it could support life enough to be a new prison for me. No idea why those sinister beings do it, and toy with us for their own sinister fun. I'll likely never know. but if I can get unimotional about being in this horrible alien prison world in this horrible prison body. It may be easier to exist till this horrible prison body dies nd I'm shoved into the next one. and likely remove some of their sinister fun since I'll be unemotional about all of it. Though that means likely they'l end this body's life since in the next oen I'll be starting over again and likely won't remember to be unemotional about it.
If there is anything like enlightenment, ascension, awaking, or whatever it's called, its' for the very special few, which i am not. they toyed with me for decades, even with the chips,then when they started to tire of me removed the chips, toyed with me a bit then tossed me to the side. They'll likely pick up when they get new ideas of what sinister fun to have with me. Though hopefully by then I'll be unemotional about it and they'll leave me faster. They only let their special chosen leave this prison, and their special chosen are awarded and given ascension, awakening, ect, or they are like matt kahn, one of the sinister jailers having fun with us here. his smile was very snister and mawking. Me, I'll never be free. I accept that and have been working on being unemotional about it. about being trapped in this horrible prison alien body in this horrible alien prison world.
------------------------
and those lies. I bet I'm not even part orca, dragon, unicorn or dolphin. perhaps some other monstrosity instead. and Mirabelle has likely forgotten bout me by now, since she does have scores of lovers. fake twin flame sure does I'm sure since she's not really contacted me in a long time and doesn't' care about me at all. she was one of the fakers toying with me for her own amusement
------------------------------
I still dislike being here quite a bit. But I am closer to the being neutral to being here. Since this place is an eternal prison for me, and when it is no longer habital by these flesh prisons i'll be forced into others forever, I may as well get neutral to being in a flesh prison since I'll be in them in these flesh prisons and prison worlds, forever.
The only plus is those sinister beigns who pretended to be guides, my twin flame, mirabelle the unicorn mare, have no interest in me currently so maybe they grew bored of me and tossed me to the side. Perhaps this will be for good, though I highly doubt it.
we are all just playthings for those jailers. the majority being fully asleep and the nearly lucky ones. the trully lucky special chosen are allowed to leave here once the current flesh prison dies, though I'm not one of those special awarded ones. no idea why they do this, keeping us all in these flesh prisons on this prison world. I would assume it is for their entertainment. maybe they get some sort of energy off of us too. That i'm not sure about.
I hate existance, but nothing i can do about it. total nonexistance when this phyiscal body dies would be a blessing, but i bet that is not allowed, they'll not want ot loose one fo their toys, their playthings, those sinister beings.
---------------------
this world is hell. I wonder if I was created just to be in these flesh prisons forever, one after the other, created by the sinister jailers to be their playtoy forever. there is no hope in ever being free of this prison world or these flesh prisons, ever. I'll be in this horrible alien prison world forced into one flesh prison after the other and i bet forced to becoming partially awake so they can tease me.
as for kundalini fully rising leading to awakening, ascention, it's all a lie, mine is fully risen, has been for a month or 3, and I'm no more awake then before it started to rise, it's all a lie.
This is all hell. this world, these flesh prisons, it's all hell.
------------------------------
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