Tuesday [3-17]

This one is odd. I was fully awake, but it was kinda like a dream that was happening mentally. This is after I awoke from having dream #1, the only one I remembered from last night:

there was a magic plastic zip lock type bag. anything put into it is preserved. if a wet item is put into it it won't get any other item in the bag wet. Water in it won't get anything placed into it wet. Some friends who are kids share the bag.

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This takes place just after the awake and before I got out of bed.  I was relaxing in bed.  I had woken up extra early and had the above experience as I tried to get back to sleep.  Then I had this one, for both experiences I was fully awake with my eyes usually closed. 

Maribelle was with me here.  We were talking <didn't take notes so not sure what it was about> I realize not only did I love her, but I have sexual feelings for her also and urges.  I do think we were touching horns, but I'm not sure.. 

She says that this is normal.  Though I didn't talk or say my feelings or urges.   I ask: "it is?  But you're a unicorn."

Her: "boy, do you have a lot to learn about unicorns."

Me: "Maybe you can teach and show me." I ask with soe sexual over tones.  She says yes smiling, accepting the sexual overtones and sex in the future indeed is the feel I get, but not casual or lust.  But like that between lvoers or mates.

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I remembered the dream fragment at this point that I typed up in my dream journal.

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Wt touch orns.  our feelings for each other laid bare, no secrets.  Te love each feels for the other  laid bare and kknon and felt by the other.  This connects to a soul level.

me: "mates?"

Her: "yes, forever."

Our souls feel this and are very happy.  this connects through our horns.

<here my notes end and I'll go by memory what happens next.

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She removes her horn from mind and lays her horn across my chest over the center and over where my heart is.  I feel the love we have for each other feel like it's filling my heart center or something.  I feel like it is becoming more complex, or more of it is being filled then was before, more complicated chambers that were dormant before.   Maribelle continues what she is doing.  It feels like the love, or something, fills my heart center till it reaches the maximum amount, then 2 other heart centers I didn't know existed, or were dormant had the love energy or whatever it was flow into them till I had 3 active heart centers.

Then I felt like a connection opened up that was there but was closed and dormant.  I felt total bliss and ecstasy.  Instinctively I somehow knew this was source.  For some reason I talked to it asking some questions.  To summarize the conversation I asked if unicorns are really sexual beings interested in sex, and source said yes.  I felt like an unlimited love, understanding, patience, wisdom.   I also knew somehow that since Maribelle and I wanted to be mates source regards as as mates and that is the final word.  I also remembered that source remembered that she and I had children in the future.  I saw this as a line going on forever.  One line was our future children we had (seems source sees time in non linear, remembering past future and present all as the same thing)

I guess the line with lots of children would be the ones that Maribelle and I will have with her as the mare//mother.  But beside some of these and  in between some of these, but on the 2nd line next to the 1st line.  I think the 2nd line, that had by far the least, maybe were ones that I may have with me as a mare.    I can see see me, though being more comfortable being male, and in the other side, or whatever you call it, I can see that I may want to experience being a mare when the time comes that we decide to have kids, or sometimes we'd sort of change genders and both end up pregnant.  But something like say 75-80% of the time I'd be the stallion and father.  Occasionally a mare, or herm, and at times we both would be pregnant.

From source (or somehow I just know) that the way unicorns reproduce is closer to how souls make new souls.  Both unicorns touch horns.  Both have to be of the intent to have a kid/create a new unicorn.  Just 1 having the intent and desire is not enough, both have to have this intent and desire.  Then they have what some here would see as sex, but it's not like sex here.  the mare will then be pregnant, but not in the way pregnancy here works.  hard to explain what I somehow know or got.   The child I think will be sentient like souls, not like babies here.  But maybe not fully able to pick if it wants to remember the soul parent's memories.  hard to put into words. 

The many kids may seem like a lot, but it's not like we'd be having kids like a factory.  But say if a unicorn goes from conception/being created to being an adult, say it takes 20 years.  Maribelle and I may have a kid say every 50 or 100 years.  Leaving plenty of time in-between.  So over a thousand years, that is quite a few kids, and if you add in the fact unicorns are immortal, that means a lot.   I don't remember if I just knew that when I connected to source or whatever I did or if I asked source.

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After the conversation was over I just lay there experiencing the bliss and ecstasy.  After a bit Maribelle did a few gentle mental nudges saying I have to get up, I have things to do.  It was very hard to move at first.  The first time I started to move the feeling of bliss and ecstasy went up.  Then as I moved more I went back to normal. 

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Forgot to put in.  Source doesn't see me as say being part unicorn, part orca type being, ect.  It sees me as say 100% unicorn, and 100% whatever other types make up my being at the soul level.  I only know of unicorn at this point.  The other stuff I felt would come up and be revealed in time.  Instead of me being poof all at once.  I assume I'll find out later that I'm also an orca, maybe dolphin and maybe dragon.   I was told that before but I'll find out.  All I knew as as I said. Source sees me as a full unicorn, and other things that make up my being I'm 100% also.  Not like I'm 30% orca, 24% dragon, unicorn, ect.  That is not how source sees it or how it works at the soul level.  Unlike genetics here.

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I do feel the desire to have kids/create unicorns or hybrid souls with Mirabelle is strong, but it's fully asleep at this point.  She agrees with me that first I should and do want to experience and enjoy being a soul, after I am finished here.  Also experience and enjoy us being mates and a couple.  We have an eternity to have our first and other children after all.  So maybe for that reason and we both agree, that desire is fully asleep, for now.

Also i do feel a strong urge to have sex with Mirabelle is mostly asleep.  Since I really can't here, but it is partially asleep maybe since the time is not as far off we we may be able to?

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If 2 does have great developments, which I'll start the 2nd part of the course tomorrow. I'll do the rest. I think after I've bought 6, I'll start looking through all of the side light body courses and see which ones I may want to get, trying to narrow those down to maybe at most 6. Though if I can't go less then 8 that is ok. Then I"ll decide if I want to do the 2nd or 3rd course.

over the next few days I think I"ll pick out the 4-6 favorite meditations, and ones that are regular ones I should do, and as the need arises, and keep those. Then once I've finished course 6 I'll spend say 30-36 days doing the favorite courses, and the ones that I pick out I should do on a regular basis. Before I start getting or doing any of the side ones. Eventually I'll stop getting courses and I'll have who knows how many favorites. it could be 50 or 100 that I'll repeat, doing 1-2 a day maybe.

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I was also thinking how so many say stuff like the goal is to eventually merge with source. I think part of that is for many reasons. Some individual beings will choose to merge with source at some point. But I think some never will. The human mind, I think, can't really conceive of existing forever. that billions of years from now, for example Maribelle and I will still exist, be mates, be perhaps unicorns, or whatever we or I change into at times, with various lovers, friends, ect.

I think the human mind finds i easier to see that there is an end point, merging with source. Some will choose to do that, but i think many beings never will. After all if my experience I had this morning is an indication and if my thinking is correct. If I wanted to 'merge' with source all I'd have to do is take the link, bond, connection that became active for a few minutes this morning, opened up, or whatever the term is, and widen it to say be, for example, wider then my body, and I'd experience being 1 with source. No need to work up to dimension 13 where source is.

I think the human mind, and some beings too, can't conceive of existing forever after the point where they began to exist.

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I think some think that say dimension 12 is better then 4. One may be more able to perceive everything at 12, but I think the full goal is not to fully work like a ladder trying to get to 13 where source is. Some souls will really enjoy incarnating and will incarnate for billions of years. Some may enjoy say the 4th, 6th, 8th dimension and may live there for good,or till their interest has them want to shift. The 12th dimension is not better the the 5th. Just the focus is different I think. Souls there have a different perspective, a different interest and focus. Some will enjoy the 8th or 6th and may remain there for ages. They may, unless I'm wrong, have the understanding of an average 9th dimension soul, but choose to live in the 6th, or may switch between the 2. Living at times in 9 , and at times in 6. Some will have this or that job that has them do that. not cause they have to have a job or source will punish them or they won't get any food. you pick what you want. if you want to, like, sit in a park for a few thousand years, you can do that. you'll learn things, grow, help others, teach others, and most won't think less of you since you are doing what you really want to do, sitting and enjoying being in a park, for a few thousand years, or a few million if you want.

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I did the 11th meditation, being the master.  was a bit distracted since it felt like I had some sort of link to unicorns somewhere and at least some or most of them were aware of me and looking at me, as if they were aware I was aware of the link or bond and aware of them.  Also felt like they were sending me love, though at a low level to not be to distracting, or maybe I'm  not to sensitive, or perhaps both.  It felt also like Maribelle was standing on my right side, maybe an inch or 2 from me.  Hard not to reach up a hand to caress her side and neck, or hug her.  Though I don't since I know I can't touch her so it would be pointless.

And then during the guided meditation the master I am working with and am supposed to summon felt like he appeared on my left side, but not as close as Mirabelle is.  It felt like they sorta looked at each other and nodded.  And during this I still felt the other unicorns, link, thing as I mentioned before.  I went pretty deep this time.  not sure if the name but it was very very deep, not asleep but maybe the stage where you are aware but close to going to light sleep, or maybe it was just very very deep asleep.  I don't consciously remember much.  But then i slowly came out of it and back to a medium and then a light then regular type state.  I do feel my horn as I type this,  somewhere in the center of my forehead straight, but angled upward, hard to describe what I mean.  Feels like Mirabelle is maybe as close as before and the master guy is a short distance off maybe.  

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 I talked to Mirabelle. Seems I can sometimes get a reply and sometimes not.  I did in this case.  I asked her in a kidding joking manner, if she is going to introduce me to her parents.  I was curious what it may be like to talk to other unicorns.

She said, <after we have consummated our relationship, meaning our mateship.>  Then a bit later she added in, <the next day, we will need time to rest.>

That does have me intrigued, from that and what she said earlier.

With the good matured joking & kidding, a good deal of it erotic.  i wonder what it'll be like once i'm fully there on the other side with her.

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I then a bit later asked her if she was still willing to show me all the ways we unicorns can have fun (meaning sexual fun).  I felt the impression she was smiling as she said <mmhmm>. and also that she had some surprises in store and some plans.

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Not sure what Mirabelle did.I felt like a surge of energy and the love was intense, mixed with some pleasure, or positive something. It felt so great that literally I relaxed in my chair and had to close my eyes.  Think I may have rolled my eyes upwards.  not sure why she did that, to share some pleasure and love, or if she is seeing what some of my buttons are.

It felt like she touched her lips or tip of her muzzle to my lips, not in a human kiss but more of a nuzzle type thing.  It felt like less potent version of when she's touched her horn to mine. Enjoyable.

Then it felt like she touched her cheek to mine maybe.  Interesting experience, and enjoyable.  it felt... very relaxing, contentedness, hard to describe.

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I did the 12th meditation of part 1 of the course.   I went pretty deep again. To the same stage where I wasn't asleep, but I was very deep.  Then for the last 18 or 15 minutes i wasn't able to stay very deep since something with my left knee kept bugging me.  It was like some pressure or energy or something would build up and I'd have to let the leg jerk itself. 

I did get the feel the Mirabelle was very close to me.  her legs and top of chest were almost touching my body. 

During part of the meditation they have a bit where you can ask about something non emotional.  Since I was so distracted I decided to ask about what I am part of. I got diffidently Unicorn.  No surprise there.  I also got orca, and dolphin, dolphin and orca like beings.  Unicorn and orca strongly, slightly less strongly dolphin, and faintly dragon, not sure of that.  Not sure of this since I was very distracted, but not important.  I will find out sooner or later.  I knew somehow without needing to ask, that I would find out or know within a year.