Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Tuesday [5-26]

Deleted previous post since I can't really channel and none of it is accurate & don't want to leave it here to accidenty mislead anyone.

---------------------------------------------------

This, the 11th guided mediation for part 4 of awaken the light body was about channeling.  And I got my monad/soul group type.  My monad and their energy. 

I don't recall all the questions or answers, but the general gest is trust myself, be my self, my true self.  the group are my monad group and some are individual souls, some are reflections, higher reflections, of myself.  They include like my the part of me that's not incarnated that I often call soul since it's a handy label, twin flame, my possible future self. My twin ray is not yet included in this.  I may meet her during this incarnation, but perhaps after it is over.  I got the feeling she is incarnated or may be, but either not on the earth or not where we'd meet physically.  I'll meet or encounter her at some point when I'm ready along my growth and evolving. I guess when I've embodied a certain percent of my monad and have gotten close, a certain percentage perhaps roughly, to embodying myself as a monad level being, yet also remaining an individual. 

I'm here and to embody myself, my true self, to become my true self is my goal.  Also found myself thinking of my mates, twin flame and others I don't remember consciously but I could feel are there.  Not here, but there as in my memory or I knew before coming here and will again when this incarnation is over.  

Felt some slight pain on my left lower side but asked and they did manage to dissolve it and replace it with a higher light. the pain was very minor.

Think I'll not do this guided meditation not listening to the audio as I usually do.  I may do an opening to channel meditation so I can get done with the 2nd pass of that audio course this week, then I can start the 2nd pass of the receiving clear guidance audio course.

--------------------------------------------
Since I can't channel at all and whoever and whatever I channel is totally inaccurate I Won't be doing the 11th guided meditation of part 4.  Instead I'll move onto the 12th and last meditation, but since it is the longest one yet, 38 minutes.  I won't do that one while listening to the audio before I eat.  I'll do it without listening to the audio first.  Then when I awaken from my nap if there's time I may do the audio.  If not I'll maybe do it with the non audio  But more likely if there isn't time I'll listen to part of it. 

This one is about imagine your past being rewritten so you were born a master with full awareness and no veil. Only if I were a real master, but since it is the 12th meditation I'll do it, even though I know I'm no master.  No idea how developed I was, but I know if I were a master I sure would not be incarnating here on earth, which feels like a kindergarten school.  Masters don't incarnate here, especially not with viels fully in place witwh the sort of life I had.  Anyway on to the meditation. 

-------------------------

Felt some energy work or something being done on me like usual.  NO idea who are what is doing it or why.  Don't feel like I really care anyway.  Not depressed or down, just don't care.  I stopped my meditation since after i did the reason for it I just stayed in that stage and rested.  I stopped it since my constant tinnitus ringing got pretty loud so couldn't remain relaxed anymore really.  Now to post this and delete the fake channeling from google+.  I don't want any fake channeled stuff up that may mislead someone,  Can't do anything about my channeled thread on Spiritual Forums since I'm not an admin, but oh well. 

===========================================

I feel better now that I have deleted all my fake channeled messages from my Google+.  No one one can be mislead by those fake channeled messages that I thought were real.

I do wonder at my level of development as a soul.  I'd guess not very high since I am incarnated here on this world.  So that is likely one big telling clue.  Another is I'm dead tired of incarnating.  I don't want to be here but back home, whatever home is like.  Though no idea how many hundreds or thousands of incarnations before I can return home and stay there, whatever home is like.

I'll continue doing the awaken the light body courses, and once I finish those.  I'll redo all the 6 parts.  then i'll move onto the light body courses that I have picked out.  That'll take over 2 years to get all the ones I picked out.  I do hope by the time this incarnation is over I can evolve far enough to be finished with incarnating. Not sure if I'll be finished with incarnating by the time this incarnation is finished but I do hope so.

-----------------------------

Seems I'm banned from that spiritual forums I use to go to.  Likely due to my having a channeling thread on there and not knowing that I am unable to really channel and I accidentally mislead some people and the admin banned me for that.  It's ok.  I do hope they deleted that thread so it doesn't accidentally mislead any body. Since I'm banned there I went ahead and deleted all the bookmarks to that site. No sense in keeping them.

-------------------------------

After the awaken the light body course is finished and the month after I go back over the 6 part course again.  I think I may get the intuition course. Not sure if I'll get that or the heart one.  I'll decide later, plenty of time after all, a few months.   I think I'd prefer to get the intuition, higher mind, blending with my divine self, first, then go for the heart, throat, crown ones next. Then the 2nd light body course.


No idea why Orin & Daben keep insisting we are all masters. I only wish I were a master.  if I were a master I'd not be here, that is for sure.
----------------------------------

Also I do wonder what would home be like if I could have whatever home I want to have, when I finish incarnating and no longer need to incarnate anymore.  A great time it'll be indeed when I finish incarnating.

It would be a non physical place, or a place where those living there no longer need to incarnate ever.  Also have it be non physical, but ones can have forms if they want, or if non physicality is not allowed that is ok.

The inhabitants would be dolphins, orcas, unicorns, pegasus (why not), nagas, eastern and western dragons.  I'd have a home bigger on the inside then the outside and the inside would be huge.  Larger then a castle or mansion, maybe the size of a small moon or larger. Also no one will need to eat.  Especially none of the sentient races eating each other. And I can be alone as much as I need or want to be and no one will mind.  Same thing with each of the other sentients who live there.

Also everyone would be immortal and open about sex, why not.  it's only fantasy not what my home is like, so why not imagine it.  No idea what my home will be like.  But I do hope it's great, or at least comfortable.

--------------------------------------------


I do wonder how many incarnations I have to do before I'm fully finished & how long this one will go on for.  If I could wish it I'd wish that both this incarnation is my last and I won't live past the mid 50's.  not since I'm depressed, but I feel I don't want to live past that age and I diffidently don't want to incarnate anymore and diffidently don't want to be here.  Though as a kid soul I likely have hundreds or thousands ahead of me.  Yuk.

-----------------------------

I do wonder if I have a home other then incarnating here and what it's like. I hope its like I said in an earlier post.  or like that place Michael Newton said and I use to visit  before I ever heard of Michael Newton.  That I had been visiting since I was 17 back 30 years ago.  No idea where it is or what it is.  it's where everyone looks like balls of colored light.  Wish I knew where and what that was.  Can't go there since i can't project anymore. 

-------------------------------
I wonder if I'll be more developed and what I'll be like once I've finished the awaken the light body course and have gone over the whole course. 

I also wonder how developed and what I'll be like a year from now in June 2016.  I'd have long since finished the awaken the light body course, the intuition, higher mind, blending with my divine self, ceremonies of initiation (heart, throat, crown) and I'd have started the 2nd light body course.  I can only guess.  But I'll find out a year from now in July of 2016.  I do hope I'm more developed then now.  Maybe even an old soul how has earned the right to never incarnate again.  Maybe even earn the right to return home for good forever.  I'll have to wait and see and hope.

----------------------------------

I am having fun with the Tuesday livestream.  Been going on for about an hour now.

-----------------------------------


I do feel an attraction or connection, not sure which, for dolphins, orcas, western & eastern dragons, reptilian nagas (not the half human ones), Unicorns. 

Also I think pegasi,

I wonder why I feel a connection or attraction for them.  Maybe I'll find out one day.  also feels, now and then, like I have a horn, I can faintly feel at times that comes from my forehead.

------------------------

I wonder if I'll have a body of some sort once I'm done with incarnations. However far in the future that'll be. Or will I be a ball of light of some color.  Unless those experiences were lies too. 

----------------------------

I feel an inner connection to some like dolphins, orcas, unicorns, I do think eastern and western dragons, and perhaps reptilian nagas too.  Perhaps pegasus too?  and others maybe, but less so.  Not sure. I do wonder why, if there is a reason. 

--------------------------------

Again I do hope this incarnation ends in my mid 50's at the latest and that it's my last incarnation.  if home is better then here. 

I can only go with the light body courses since I've no idea what else may be lies and what may not be.  Not that all the Orin & Daben stuff works since I bought and tried their Lucid dreaming guided meditation and it did nothing at all. So at least 3 of their stuff doesn't work. The lucid dreaming is just a single 20, or so, minute course that I think cost $7, so not to much.  Much more worthless and useless was the opening to channel and receiving clear guidance since what I thought i was getting  was channeling the part of me not incarnated here, twin flame, future possible self, 1 then a 2nd mate , a unicorn and pegasus, the unicorn's family, or at least her parents.  and had 1 encounter with 2 of her brothers and younger sister.  Likely all lies, as well as the so called monad soul group that I'm working on embodying since stupidly that is the next level of my development since I had reached the soul level.  I knew I was soul, but me and the non incarnated part of me are the same being.  so supposedly since I realized that and that supposedly means I've reached soul level or embodied my soul being or merged or something, I wasn't clear on that, but supposedly I didn't need to consciously understand it.   I thought that the channeling was way to easy for me.  That as cause it wasn't real channeling.  I wasn't really channeling the part of me not incarnated, nor any of the other higher beings.

yea sure.  if I was at the stage where I had soul realization, realizing my soul and I were one or whatever.  and was working on the next stage of monad realization, becoming 1 with my monad, merging with my monad or whatever it means.  yea sure.  if i was that high I would not be here incarnating.  I'd be back home, whatever home is.  I wonder how many incarnations I have to go through before I'm allowed to stop incarnating.  yea, like I could get to soul realization, or whatever it was, that quick, in a period of 5 months, 4 months after I start the Awaken The Light Body Course, sure.

I wish I were that far along.  That would be cool.  not as cool as being a master, certainly not as cool as whatever comes after being a master.  But one day maybe.

--------------------------

I've already said what I'd like home to be like.   Though I think I may not mind if home was where everyone is balls of colored light around points of consciousness.  or if I could have more then 1 home.  That could be cool. 

As would being a starseed on my first & last mission here. 

---------------

I think once I finish the 2nd pass of the 4th part of awaken the light body, I think I'll go through and do the long free guided meditations form the Orin & Daben web site.  Those are meditations that are at least 15 minutes long. 

Then if I have time left, I'll do the longer ones at say 1 a day twice a day.  If I have time left I'll go through the short meditations and do several of those.  I'll do 2-3. Doing 1, type up my experience.  do the next ect, till I do around 3.  I wonder what I'll get from doing those free meditations again.  Some I never have done. So by Wednesday evening of next week I'll have done all the free meditations that Orin & Daben website has, long and short ones.  Neat. 

------------------

I did the 12th meditation for part 4 of the awaken the light body again.  it's one where you visualize being born a master with the veil never coming down on you ever.  I did that, and added in that i was working on becoming a monad level being and most folks were helping to teach me.  Except for a few that were here just as friends to have run with, and a few friends were maybe teaching me very minorly.  and I came here to get up to being a monad level being, and then go past that.   

after I stopped doing the meditation, which I stopped since I reached the modern day.  after a bit I did feel like i was floating.  no idea what it means. I can somewhat feel that floating feeling still.  Still no idea what it means nor any way to find out.   

I know no one's reading this, but that is ok.  I just do this blog so i can help organize my thoughts , feelings, and experiences and by doing so I may realize something or remember something I may normally have forgotten.  So it's ok that no one reads this.  if some do, that would be great. 

No comments:

Post a Comment