Thursday [6-18]

I did the 2nd guided mediation for part 5 as part of the 2nd pass. Running the energies went ok to good. Not surprised it wasn't excellent since I'm not fully awake. I'd normally get more sleep but the Thursday rpg group is such that I can't do that. That is ok since I do have fun.

Feelt like the fullonia, 1st light body center, has increased in size again maybe. Feels huge, taking up the room I'm in in my apartment and a bit beyond the room too. Overall it went very well considering I don't feel fully awake.

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I did the 2nd awakening the light body mediation for part 5 of that course.  When i did the running the energies for the first 3 lb energy centers instead of normal it felt like the energy was also running up my legs as well.  My heart lb energy center felt like it is larger again.  Maybe down to mid though level and a bit above my head, as I sit. My throat one may have increased a bit, not sure.

My fullonia feels about the same size, but maybe a bit different.  lighter, harder for me to feel maybe?  not sure.  may also be since I've not had a nap all day.

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now for the experiences today.  last night I had what felt like some neutral or positive being surround my physical body or go into it, not sure, and it felt like it as making it's energy in ripples or something.  I wasn't scared.  I felt no fear.  For a few seconds I did nothing, since I wasn't sure what was going on or what to do. I finally just decided to use all my will power and force it out and away from me.  But as i said it felt neutral or positive.  Like it wasn't really trying to do anything, but did that for some reason and did the rippling energy thing to get my attention maybe. 

I went back to sleep, after asking for some of my mates to come by.  A bit after I awoke the being a first seemed be shy and unsure.  Said it was some sort of test and it was of the light and it was a test to see if i was worthy of protecting.  I got the mental image of what looks like a dragonlance draconian.  an anthro dragon type.  Then it didn't talk any more apart from saying that it was one of the good draconians of the light.  Said the sun and Gaia kept at him and turned him towards light eventually.  Then he didn't talk anymore for a while.  Then a bit later in the morning it said it was a test and while I could have done better I did excellent.  I could feel a loving feeling coming from this being.  Like it was by nature loving but had been shielding it, or I had not noticed it before.  I still felt no fear.  Emotionally I was still fairly neutral.   It said that that persona was not a lie, but a past life that it had done, it's venture into the dark since one cann't really understand the light unless one ventures at least briefly into the dark and that I had done so briefly, but there was no need for me to remember that while I was here.  And that it agreed with Gaia and the sun and that I'd make an excellent star, if I should choose to incarnate between being a planet or a star.

on the bus I decided to talk to my dragon soul mother.  one of the 4 who recreated me.  She said it was one of our soul group, one that she likes to kiddingly call her sister.  Though the energy did have a sort of male feel to it. mostly neutral but maybe slightly male.  She said it was a sort of test that he wanted to do to show that I had done well. While true I could have done a bit better, I did excellent, and should be proud of that.  Also, considering my soul heritage being recreated, I could be said to be in several soul groups since I'm of more then 1 soul lineage.  Before I was primarily of the pod.  And I may feel closes to those as a result.  She said it was a bit unexpected for Gaia to approach me this fast to start to teach and guide and help me get up to becoming a conscious member of her soul group, but she had seen it would eventually very likely happen and did agree that I'd make an excellent star, but i'd not like being a planet much, if I were to choose between those.  And indeed I'm here for 1 mission only then I'm out.  I did indeed want to go from one extreme, being a sleeper, to being fully aware with no veil and able to access as much of my soul memories and knowledge, as I could, given the limitations of the human body.

She said her sister's not usually like that, but saw that a test would help me at that point.  and i had reached a point for the test.  I think she means more like I'd think it over and it would have positive benefits, maybe for my confidence or something.  She also said I'm fully clear and at this point I primarily need to start setting about changing my habit thoughts since I had those certain issues I'm use to thinking certain things in certain ways, an inset habit and I need to work on changing that next.  Just do so gradually.  think more positive, more higher resonance thoughts.  Also watch your thoughts.  No need to put yourself mentally into the future or past really as many humans have a habit of doing.  Thinking some may be ok, but many develop the habit of doing that much more then is needed.

Not sure what to make of all this.  Not sure what any of the rest of you

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I channeled Gaia a but and she confirmed what was said.   it was a good time to test.  interesting.  not sure if i like the guide's style, but i do recall Gaia mentioned I'd warm up to him over time.  I can feel his love for me.  She said he can partially shield his love for me, and if I feel for it I can feel i dimly, he helped out with this I think.  I do wonder if we will be come more like friends over a short time.

Gaia did confirm i am at the stage where the emotional is cleared out. I'm at the stage where i need to work on my thoughts at this point.  Positive affirmations, some light self hypnosis.  I do have good ideas of what to do.  My mates and such have stepped back slightly to give me space to work on my thoughts and pass this stage. 

Like mentioned before I think at least part of this is habit thinking.  When I had the issues I got into the habit of thinking in certain ways have to break that and think in positive ways, to think as my true self.  I'll also add in not thinking of the future or past as much.  try to be more present.  I think this is likely a habit thing.  I do hope it progresses fast.  I'm sure and have confidence it well progress very fast.

Think I may do the changing your thoughts meditation a few times in in the next week.  As well as maybe a few short ones. 

when I relax I I can feel energy streaming into me, resonating.  not sure what the source is.  I'd guess one of my family, guides, mates, or a mix of those.

PS: a short time ago I asked GAIA if she is one of my guides and she said In a way certainly.  I asked since she is a planet could she teach me all to get up to her level, and she said certainly the basics. and more.  I can learn some planet stuff.  Some basic planet stuff.  Though I'd need to go under the guidance/tutorship of 1 or more stars to learn star stuff.  Even if I did not intend to ever incarnate as a star or Planet I could learn the planet basics from her the star basics from 1 or more.  I'd be a full soul group member, or close to it by then. I'd then be able to pick if I wanted to study and focus on star stuff, planet. I could do both but it is best to pick 1 and get into the advanced stuff before I study more then teh basics of the other.  Even if I didn't intend to be a star, she suggested I should at least do the basic stuff and thinks I'd be a natural at even the advanced star stuff.  She doesn't think the planet stuff would interest me much, but I could learn the rediments to see.