Tuesday [6-2]

She talked to me briefly during the brony show.  She said stuff I don't understand .  Dearest I understand but not the bit about"flesh of my flesh."  and I do feel we share 1 light body heart energy center.  Not sure that that means or that it was possible.  Feels like it's of a huge size.  And we may have the same or shared kundalini.  I do feel what we did, did make the channel mine gravels down much larger, about as wide as my shoulders.  She did say it's ok, even when I'm over there I often can't piece together the clues to piece them together whereas she can.  i guess she may mean she's much better then I am at that.  I know I can't piece the clues together when reading or watching a mystery or during playing rpg's I can't piece together the clues.  That's ok, not everyone can. 

With twin flame I do feel that the intensity is completely gone.  A part of me somewhat misses that, but change happens.  it feels normal. And it's not like we don't have some feelings for each other.  I do feel we have a special relationship still.  Without the intensity it may be something similar to soul mates, but more.  We're more then just soul mates, since we are still twin flames, just without the intensity. 

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With the rent increase I decided to go over the light body courses and put those that don't fit my get around the same amount of guided meditations as with the awaken the light body.  Some of the more pricy courses have parts that are 2 or 3 times that of the parts of the awaken the light body, but don't give you 2-3 times as many guided mediations, so those I put into a folder and likely I won't get those.  I'll still get most of the ones i picked out.  This though may shave off a year or more out of the total till i finish the LB courses I plan on gradually purchasing.  I also have to decide do I really want to spend the money to get the 4th lb course, and 4 others that are not as expensive as 4, or do I want to skip those.  I'll decide later on after I've purchased the courses before that.  Those that are the 6 parts of lb 4 and the 4 other courses I may label 2nd wave and I may decide to not get them since they are so pricey.  I may decide to get some or slower so as not to put all my spending money on those.  I may get 3-4 per year maybe.  I'll decide later.

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I still wonder what my relationship is with the female naga, based on the experiences I described earlier and what she said.  she and Maribelle seem to not want to tell me, seeing it a bit teasing fun sorta to not tell me.  and or wanting me to figure it out myself, someone else to tell me, or it may just pop and I'll know, or they may tell me after  a  while.

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I had a short conversation with the female naga.  I could feel like I was in her body but also in my physical body too at the same time.  as before she is snake type appearance with hood, no breasts since snake don't have any, and a cobra type hood and head. 

I asked how close is our connection.  <this close.> she said then she used a hand to caress her chest & down her belly to her female slit then she slipped in 2 fingers, which she then slightly separated since it felt like she had 2 tubes or something within her female slit, hard to describe.  I could feel her doing this, hard to describe.  Then I could feel some inner muscles of hers gripping her both her fingers.  She pulled slightly and I could feel the pleasure from the pressure of having 2 fingers in her and from the slightly pulling now and then as well as the pleasure from her inner muscles there having her 2 fingers to grip, massage and rub. 

<just imagine, both of us coiled around each other.  You won't need or be able to thrust.  You can just insert both of your hemipenis into me and we'll both have twice the pleasure.>  Then  she paused a moment.  <or perhaps 4 times the pleasure if I was a herm and you were 2 and we shifted our placement of our genitals so we can enter each other.>   Then she released her hand and then started to raise her hand towards her mouth.  <Perhaps you'd like this better.> She then used a tongue to wrap it around one of her fingers and lick it in an obviously sexual manner. 

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I did the soul linking free meditation.  The first I choose was the female naga, the 2nd I picked was my twin flame, so I could feel the difference.  Overall I can say it went well.  With the female naga it was like we're partially 1, but also 2 individuals.  Hard to describe, being 1 but also individuals.  With twin flame i felt we don't have 1 light body heart energy center and kundalini, unlike the female naga and myself.  Though with twin flame I do feel I have a special relationship with her.  Hard to describe the feeling of the relationship.  A soul level connection relationship. With the naga it is much more intimate.  hard to describe.

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I did the first free short mediation in higher self, mind, intuition, very relaxing.  Not sure what else I can say about it.

The 2nd one: Clearing blockages was ok.  Clearing blockages went well.  Though I did do fear and doubt instead of just fear.  It feels like my merging or whatever I did with the naga female monad twin, or whatever she is.  Seems to have resolved most of those issues.  Maybe she did the clearing for me or something. 

While I was relaxing and such I can say that my energy feels slightly different. it's not just my energy like it has been before.  Also it's not like it was earlier where it felt like my energy with hers also present.  now it feels like our energy, and like it's circulating or flowing as 1 system now.  So hers and mine have merged. 

I think I may have some doubt and maybe fear present, but the vast majority of what was left, which wasn't left, is just bits, fragments maybe.  I'll work on that.   It may be money issues and doubt/fear the universe may not provide me with enough that I need, though it will.

I do feel like this merging, or whatever, had done a lot towards that, a lot of clearing has been taken care of.  Though some may still remain.

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Interesting how soul seems to prefer a dolphin type form, as does twin flame.  I'm sorta easy between dolphin, orca, unicorn and now naga.  My monad twin, or whatever, prefers her naga form.  I think it's just personal preference for each of us. 

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I had another brief conversation with the naga female as I was laying down to take a nap.  She started to rub along my back and chest with her hands, pressing up against me and it ws very arousing. She also was nuzzling my neck, and gave me a very gentle nibble. 

you're very seductive you know that?  <of course.  I know how to be very seductive to myself.> 

I take it that we're the type of soul that does enjoy sharing? <indeed, as you already know.  We enjoy sharing, pleasure, love, intimacy, affection.  When you're here we'll share many pleasures, as well as love, affection, intimacy.>  She said it in a very seductive mental voice. 

So, since I have a twin flame, I guess you do too?  <indeed, you'll like him.  He's a lot like you .... and me.>  I got the mental picture of a darker colored male naga. 

I then felt more energy flowing , I guess she was doing something, maybe clearing blockage or something.  I think i recall feeling something.  Then I went to sleep for a bit.

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The joy free meditation went very well.  I could feel the soul level joy.  Though at the very start the nage female was at my side mentally.  She was nuzzling my neck and rubbing my chest with on hand. And she gave my neck a gentle nibble though not the human neck, it felt like it was on the cobra hood neck area of my naga form.  I could feel though it was the naga female whose my monad twin, twin ray or whatever.  It was me also, another me. Which I guess she is.  It was quite arousing, though she stopped once the medation proper started.

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I did the loving relationship one.  it went well.  I did accept that I should love others just as they are, without wanting them to change.  I added in my naga female twin, whatever she is into this since I thought, why not.  At the end she added in again, <we'll share such pleasures as you find unimaginable.>  then she nibbled softly on my naga neck hood.  I decided to give hers a nibble too and copy her movements.  This had no sex to it, but just us sharing our intimacy and love for each other, closeness.

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I do wonder if I do become a fully realized monad level being, if I'll decide to go past that or if one can go past that in this lifetime while incarnated here. 

I also feel that no matter how high I may get, I can still hang out and do stuff say at the 4th or 5th densities and up.  So I could still hang out with my various friends, mates, lovers, kids (if I ever have any) ones I may teach or be a guide to, ect.  Total freedom there and no restrictions.  Though there'll be more to learn and realize. 

Though I doubt I'd incarnate.  I may be tempted but all the annoyances and such may outweigh any fun aspects and such.  Though it's possible I may if asked for certain reasons, I greatly doubt it since it is a huge hassle being here, forced to live a linear existence, unable to use most of my abilities, ect. 

Also I feel there are many options for fun, so those who are nostalgic at times can recreate some scene from their past, like a home or apartment, and wonder around in it.  There may be areas done for this, like an area of earth in the 1950's.  Also stuff based on this so the same setting, but with some futuristic sci-fi stuff and non humans.  Just a fun place for folks to wonder around in. 


I know the female naga and I are one being.  Though we could also be said to be individuals at the same time.  And we both do enjoy sharing, to use the pod's terminology, though as I've said before, sharing is not just soul sex only, it is far more, sharing sex, but also affection, pleasure, intimacy, and more.  hard to put the meaning into English fully.  I do feel we'll be sharing together, as well as others.