Friday [1-23]

Think shadow said a message to my subconscious in a dream, but I already typed that up. My shadow aspect has been talking to me a bit this morning, mostly before I got out of bed. Using more crass language. I guess normal since that is either how most talk where it spends most of it's time, ? lower astral realms/planes? or that maybe just how it normally talks. Not to unlike how some humans talk much more crass then others, even when talking to friends casually.

I can honestly say I enjoy the encounters with my shadow aspect. I may to save time start calling him Shad. not as an insult but so i don't have to keep typing out shadow aspect. and soul aspect i may just call soul. I can honestly say i do enjoy being with shad. I would assume this is a good thing that one does get along with and likes being with another aspect of oneself.
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Forgot to mention last night that when I lay down to go to sleep it felt like Shad came and lay on top of me, like he put his arms on my side.  No idea if where he is they need to sleep or not.  Or maybe he was just resting and enjoying our being physically close.

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I had a laugh at something Shad said about a picture I looked at on fa.  Wasn't expecting him to comment.  Guess he can see what I see or can see this world from where he is.  ?lower astral?

I guess he's male either cause I'm male or because earth has male dominated societies?  both, other reasons. 

Tried asking Shad what what organization soul is a member of but he just said, 'go ask him."  Since soul won't say for a mischievous reason, I do wonder how I can find out.
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Had an interesting experience, not sure exactly everything that happened.  I was trying a youtube video I had downloaded that was for ultra deep hypnosis.  A short 20 minute one.   Part way through through the human female in the audio has you try to left first one leg then the other then one hand then the other.  It felt like I could left my hands and arms so to speak.  Not sure if it was astral, etheric , or something else.  They felt very very light compared to my physical body.  I turned and saw Shad standing nearby (I'd guess maybe 18 inches from me roughly) , but all blurry, like I had my glasses off.  He looked reptilian, from what bit I could see, but friendly body language.  I knew it was him by some inner instinct or knowing, like the first time i went wherever that place is and saw my soul aspect I knew exactly who and what it was by some inner knowing instinct.

I had started to try to shift to get a better look at him but he climbed on top of me, his arms at my sides and back saying, with a bit of a mischievous look in his eye and mental voice, "no need to go anywhere. We stay here like this."  For some reason he felt like he must way 500 or a thousand pounds or more.  And I think compared to me he felt very dense too.  As  I touched his back with my hands I felt a pleasant type tingle, resonance shoot through my hands and go up to my forearms.    After maybe 5 or 10 seconds it felt like he had lost most of his weight and was feeling like he usually did.  And I couldn't see him anymore.  For the time I could see him up close he did look reptilian, pretty muscular looking and a very friendly look to him, with a bit of a mischievous look in his eye.

I said something like , "uh." not sure what else to mentally say to him.  I wasn't scare at all of him, just a bit bewildered at what he was doing and why.  He said basically with the same hint of mischievousness, "we can have fun later, for now let's stay just like this."

Not sure what happened, but overall I'd say a pleasant experience looking back.  During the time it was also pleasant, but not sure what to make of it or not.   Didn't know he had a bit of a mischievous nature to him.  Maybe it came out or he didn't feel like indulging that part of him.

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Not sure how answered.  I asked soul, so what is it about the sorta anthro beluga looking beings we look like in that buffer space thing.  I got a reply from what sounded like a female voice, no idea who it was, "that is one of the little known races of Sirius, little is known of it on earth."  wonder if it is true and who that was.
Though with space travel possible some may have moved from elsewhere.

  Sort of like if say in the star trek universe if some vulcans moved to earth and had some kids there, and their kids had grand kids, the kids and grand kids could say they are from earth.  When the race originated on vulcan. 
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someone mentioned that something called the Galactic Federation of Light may be the organization soul is a member. I guess all incarnated members here are incarnate souls of high ranking members.  I'll have to look into seeing if i can find info about that.
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I recalled from an earlier conversation that shad may feel bad about himself so I decided to give him a compliment, that I find him sexually attractive.  I felt him give me a hug and for some reason when he did I felt this immense pleasure shoot through my body and for a few minutes the are he hugged me felt like it was resonating.
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I've been trying to stay between my thoughts as much as I can, not sure how that helps with anything.
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Not sure if it will help Shad any, but while taking a shower I thought since life is harsh in the lower astral or wherever Shad is, that it may help him if I visualized an all white filling my entire apartment and asked for soul aspect's help in making it protective from lower vibrational things would be kept out of my apartment, except that I want Shad to be excluded from that and unaffected.  Not sure if it did anything.  I'm guessing either nothing happened or it did work and he was not affected since I felt he was near me before during and after this.  I got no complaint from him so no idea if it worked or not or if he even knew what I tried to do and asked soul aspect to help me with.

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listened to a hour hypnotic relaxation audio.  Hoping that by using it daily I may be able to relax more fully in my mediation and get to a medium meditative trance or deep if I want.

It felt like I did get very relaxed and went deeper and deeper into a trance.  it also felt like during this Shad wanted to lay on top for most of the hour and just hug me.  I certainly don't mind and like the feeling.  I enjoy the physical closeness, or as close as we can get.  I kept going deep and guess I either fell asleep or went so deep I lost consciousness.  I awoke but was in a sort of light or medium trance.  I felt unusual, sorta like my body was the usual heavy feeling when I'm very relaxed.  But also I felt sorta fuzzy inside, and like I had a second body that was very light inside the physical body that felt pretty heavy.  And Shad felt heavier.  I tried to see if I could get a look for what Shad looked like and got 2 mental images.  The first was a the humanoid reptilian type, but also in instant later i got the image of a solid black muscular anthro orca.  Not sure if he's in the process of changing his appearance or is deciding on which one he wants to look like.   I mentally mentioned it's up to him which he wants to look like.  I like both appearances.
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I had a few encounters with Shad tonight. I did try a suggestion someone made to allow Shad to see through my eyes as i watched a livestream show. Felt like he sorta stepped into me. guess he had fun. Felt for a bit like our energies did some mingling or something for a bit.

Later while sitting in the chair it was like he got closer, sorta got the impression I was sitting on his lap as he hugged me. I did get some pleasure feelings during this. I got the mental image of a muscular solid black anthro orca. And the feeling of protectiveness.

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Had an idea today. Not sure why I didn't think of it before. In rl I'll refer to my shadow aspect as my real life first name. it is another me, and that may help with the integration perhaps. Online I thought of referring to him as Sam. I got the idea from Shadow Aspect. then thought what normal human name is short and starts with sa. Sam was the first one I thought of. I gave Sam a few minutes to think it over since I do think his preferences should be taken into account. I think he said that he liked the rl name and online name. hard to tell since his mental voice sounds exactly like mine. I like the idea. Better then a impersonal name like shadow aspect. Soul aspect I think I'll refer to as Soul, simpler that way. Though it may feel odd for a while for me to day my name while talking to Sam. I'm sure it'll pass soon.

Though I do wonder what the person who mentioned to me shadow can be devious and kinky. Guess I'll find out. I found out today they can be mischievous too. :)
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Hmm, matt mentioned a Galactic Council.  I wonder who they are.  If my soul aspect is a member of them.   Now if I were someone famous I could ask Matt, but since I'm not that avenue is unavailable, soul is not talking.

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