Sunday  [1-18]

Had a bit of a conversation with my soul aspect this morning before I got out of bed.  let's see if I can recall it.  I did ask it to help me remember. 

So I can choose to be a separate soul identity from you.  Will I retain your memories or not? [that is your right if you wish to or not.  I would prefer if you did.  then we'd be equals.  you'd retain all my memories and start your own.  though the final decision is yours.  if you choose not to then I and your immediate soul family would be like guides to you.]

I do prefer to become a separate soul identity from you, once this is over and to retain your memories as well.

[great, that will make you a new/old soul.  new as in your identity didn't exist 50 years ago, but old as in you'll retain all my memories you have now and we'll have a new equal member of our soul family.]

So I already have your memories, just blocked by the veil thing?  In response I had the mental image of a hand lifting a mirror up from below my face level and when it got to sequel to my face level I got a bunch of images, like for an instant remembering who knows how many centuries of memories at once.  that was you lifting the veil? [lifting one corner of it to show that you already retain my memories and with your decision you will continue to even if you do not at present remember them consciously.  Though as is your right you can change your mind at any time.]

I'd rather keep the memories and be a separate soul identity.  We'd be equal, like siblings, twin siblings?  [technically I'd be your soul parent, but I like your idea of twin sibling better.]  I got a type of soul hug at this.

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Had an interesting experience walking around outside today.  I think it was my soul aspect and or some of my immediate soul family showing me what it would be like if I did choose to not retain my soul parent's memories so I would know what that would be like so I could make a more informed decision.

My soul parent in that case would be a loving guide, and the rest of my immediate soul family too, maybe more like soul uncles/aunts sort.

It would be an interesting experience maybe, but no I prefer to be a separate soul identity with full recall of my soul parent's memories up to the point where I become a separate soul identity, then of course I'd have my own memories. So that way I'll be an equal to it and the rest of my immediate soul family.   using it's term, I'll be a new/old soul at the same time.  New in that the individual soul identity didn't exist 50 years ago say, but i have full access to it's memories so I'm also an old soul at the same time.   I don't really want to go through all the new young soul stuff again.  I've done that, back when my energy was one with it's energy before I split off.     If that makes any sense.    Neat that I have the right to decide that.

I did thank them for that, but no, I prefer to be a separate soul identity with full access to my soul parent's memories.  So that would make us all equals.

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Forgot to put this in.  Soul parent, think I'll use that term maybe at times a gentle teasing in a good natured type thing.  But it said we (not it and me but everyone here on this mission) would receive, are receiving, recognition for what they are doing/will do here, ? renown and reward, celebration? as well, perhaps. 

Earlier today it did say I am beginning to remember, I will remember the enormousness of the mission we're doing (we meaning it, me and everyone here on the earth mission). 

Though I think I somehow know that technically it wouldn't be a soul parent and me an individual soul identity till after this incarnation is over and the body eventually dies since I think the way free will and the rules work is this incarnation is the soul aspect's incarnation, but I can be told of the right to be an individual soul identity and to retain it's memories, or I may just know that.  Since this is it's incarnation I can't split off now but only after this incarnation is over.  It's a bit complex thing but I think i do understand it.  Though I can state my intent and preference & desire, as I have done, and i guess get some maybe preparation.  Not sure if those who choose to re-merge have their soul aspects act more like a parent to them, or parent guide.  Mine is more like we're equals, though I'm less experienced and still a part of it, it's incarnation, very close loving friend type thing and the immediate soul family treats me as an equal also and the same loving very close friend/very close family.   and in this unedited blog I'll add in lovers as well since the feel I get and am beginning to realize is the soul I'm part of, and the immediate soul family I'm part of are all very loving and we're like lovers to each other.  Though not to the degree of say a sex fanatic or sex fiend.  Now it makes more sense why my shadow aspect choose that method to start the integration process.  Not sure if I typed it up, but very pleasureful, enjoyable, as well as of course loving too.  Not to mention orgasmic. 

was watching a bit of matt's video again.  It did remind me it's an early indigo (the feel is it's including me in this of course).  Though I'm not 50 and over.  it did mention before that it choose to be very early 2nd wave to take some of the brunt off of me since I'd be it's first earth incarnation/ first human incarnation.

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I wonder why I can never tell how many are in my immediate soul family?  Is it some other reason, I'm not sensitive or developed enough to tell?  they want to keep it a pleasant or fun secret till I'm fully there and they can surprise me with the number as they welcome a new family member? 

Wonder if Since I have an immediate soul family, if that means the soul aspect I'm part of has soul friends I've no knowledge of.  If so sounds like that too could be a pleasant surprise and if they'd consider me a friend also since I'd be an independent soul that split off from their soul friend but has all the same memories as their soul friend. 

I also wonder if some of the implants that were removed helped with projecting since it is a bit different, or is it that it's the same type but the implants made it easier.  I still have no body and am a point of consciousness surrounded by my own energy field (that I can't see), but before when I would project there I'd be fully there.  Now the 2 times I have I feel like I'm in 2 places at the same time, there and here in my body at the same time. 

Twice I've briefly gone between my thoughts and just experienced the love I feel them sending me, or is it they are not sending to me but is always there?  not sure.  Or is it a mix of the 2?

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had an interesting thing happen while I was eating while listening to 1 of matt's videos. 

It was like my physical eyes were turned off for an instant.  Similar to yesterday when I closed my eyes while the soul I'm part of was giving me a frontal hug and I got the mental image of an anthro cetaceean type.  But this time I had my eyes open. 

For the instant I saw some sort of grid and it felt like I was connected to it and anchoring or holding someting to the grid and felt maybe was doing something else also maybe or was changing from one to another thing I was also doing, but the flash was to quick for me to feel what the other thing was or exacty what I was anchoring to the grid. 

Also watching the mat video mat just stopped talking, like he lost his lines and looking a the screen while he was doing that I could diffidently feel like he was doing something.  I even put my face closer to the screen and could feel something he was doing but not any idea what. 

Kinda makes me wonder if that is the clairknowing thing clairfeeling or maybe both that I may have.

also normally I can feel matt is doing something, but I'm not sure what.  Know it's energy something ?  and feels like certain words hold more then the regular words he says?   But I've described the energy before so no need to here. 

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From the flash I got earlier today, like I remembered who knows how many centuries or thousands of years in 1 second. Think bits i can understand. Starships of various sizes and designs maybe. the shooting laser maybe was some sort of laser communications, or maybe an energy thing i read about an theoretical energy system. Solar cells on a satellite that gathers solar energy then at intervals beams the gathered energy to a receiving station on the ground as a laser.

Also the images i got a few weeks ago that I thought maybe were in the future somewhere maybe was the first bits of my remembering some of the soul aspect's memories. Very large ships leaving some world. vaguely humanoidish figures using some device, or some devices to stabilize a star's nuclear furnace, or doing something to lengthen a star's lifespan, or maybe both? The figures I couldn't see in the memory very well.

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From the flash I got earlier today, like I remembered who knows how many centuries or thousands of years in 1 second.  Think bits i can understand.  Starships of various sizes and designs maybe.  the shooting laser maybe was some sort of laser communications, or maybe an energy thing i read about an theoretical energy system.  Solar cells on a satellite that gathers solar energy then at intervals beams the gathered energy to a receiving station on the ground as a laser. 

Also the images i got a few weeks ago that I thought maybe were in the future somewhere maybe was the first bits of my remembering some of the soul aspect's memories.  Very large ships leaving some world.   vaguely humanoidish figures using some device, or some devices to stabilize a star's nuclear furnace, or doing something to lengthen a star's lifespan, or maybe both?  The figures I couldn't see in the memory very well.

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Tried doing a light mediation to see if I could remember basics that I needed to remember.  No idea if i did or not.   I did some remembering, then worked a bit backwards.  Not sure if this is the basics i need to remember or if it's not and I may still forfeit.  Also wanted to see since Soul aspect said my veil is being dissolved if I could remember more. 

The place I usually project to where immediate soul family seems to be hanging out is a ? between? place where some souls hang out.  ? do some types of work too? 

Incarnated on a number of other worlds becoming here with a large group on a mission?  a large number of worlds soul aspect had incarnated on.  different galaxies? systems? 

Soul aspect came here?  there was a request at the soul level to help earth and others here with the coming shift/change that they want to happen and want help with.  ? evolved enough to be one of the initial ones, not part of new wave?  Choose to be very early 2nd wave, barely not 1st wave, since it would take the brunt off of incarnation since incarnation would be first one on earth, but not overall.   Wanted to experience awakening fully as a human.  High degree of chance the incarnation would choose to split off as an individual soul and keep it's memories so soul family would have another new member, an equal member?  not first time this happened? no first time soul aspect has been a soul parent?     ? chosen mission to help anchor?  energy?  something to help the new wave who would come later , and later wave too.  ? other, clearing?  just experiencing?  Not sure.  Requested some sirius type etheric implants be inserted to help with communicating and projecting, to be removed later once incarnate got to a certain ? level?  then they would be removed?  they would help but at a certain point if not removed they would hamper his development and growth?  They would be inserted ? at a young age?  pre 5?    find the veil annoying but it is a local law.    ? immediate soul family would help too, but would not incarnate?  Would remain ? there? 

Not sure if I got any of that right and some of it is vague.

+ immediate soul family like the idea there may result in a new family member as a result of this who'll be an equal.  another one to have fun/pleasure with and to share with...  Chances high he'll choose to retain soul parent's memory like previous one did.  Hope he does too.  Soul & family do hope he does.   Imagine the welcome he'll get once here fully. 

was watching a bit of matt's video before I go to lay down and a line of his had ? soul aspect or immediate family member.  matt's like was something like: trusting every instinct as the highest authority of divine will.   I got the mental image of a ? anthro cetacean type hugging me and the message kiddingly [yea like us sharing pleaure]  made me laugh.  Had to put that here.

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I was laying down to rest since i felt the need.  I had a few things/realizations. 

I was thinking over how my immediate soul family seems to enjoy sharing pleasures of various types soul sex and otherwise, and remembering what matt said about faith decided I'll accept that as right.  then I got a message from either my soul aspect or another member of my immediate soul family.  I'm not sure who and it doesn't really manner, it was a [mmmmmmm] and it felt like a seduction intermixed with joking in a good naturedly way. 

i was also thinking and feeling how, assuming that ascended masters do exist, that some seem to show them a huge amount of reverence and worship.  And I feel, not sure why, that some inner instinct says to treat them as beign not more important then me or over reverence.  like if Buddha (forgot his name) not to bow to him as many would if he walked into the room but instead my inner instinct says the ? better? right? way and what my inner instinct says to do is to smile, wave and say hey  (name of ascended master) how are you doing.

Then I was thinking on the mmmm I got earlier and mentally said to whoever it was, soul aspect or immediate soul family "I accept." meaning both terms of the message as I said. 

I then got a mental image of the 2 of us, it hugging me from the back.  My hands on it's hands as we swayed to some music we could hear.  Simply sharing in the pleasure/Ecstasy of simply being.  The immediate soul family does like to share mingling energies, sometimes we may flow together to partially or fully merge at times.  but the underlying reason isn't being after what some would call soul sex, though that is pleasurable and fun, there is a more underlying deeper reason, pleasure, celebrating and sharing pleasure, even if it is just the pleasure and ecstasy of simply being.    Looking at it at first I thought the forms were sexless, but looking at it now they were either androgynous or perhaps hermaphrodite, and not being human, more humanoid with cetacean traits.  Maybe influenced from all the furry, phin and, scaley artwork I've seen over the years.     It was like I could feel myself swaying there too.  Forgot to put that part down.

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I was thinking.  No idea why, but the me of this morning feels sorta like a previous incarnation.  Like I've changed inside somehow.  Not sure how.  can't quite put my finger on it.    no biggie, maybe I'll figure it out or someone else will and well tell me. 

Hmm, I asked soul about the change I think I feel, I don't quite understand it's reply [you're more like me.]  I though I was already it since I'm an incarnation of it.  and it's my soul aspect, we both being one already.  At least till I become a independent soul identity though retaining it's memories making me a new/old or old/new soul, but that is in my future. 
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