Thursday   (1-15)

Woke up a little early and could not get back to sleep so decided to meditate and think and not think.

Like last night, I can't feel the shadow self to well?  Due to being more merged more integrated?  overlapping with me?  Sounds possible.

Came here to do more then one thing, a mission, to experience awakening as a human.

deeper feel a strong pull/draw for home.  Not a world or worlds, soul realms, or some upper realms?

There is still a strong attraction between the different aspects/parts of me, intermixed with love and sexual attraction.  ? souls don't differentiate between love and sexual attraction since it's the same thing,   Different sides of the same coin, so to speak?

Also a strong desire to merge into one between the different parts of me?

This bit popped into head at random.  Feel a bit / slightly embarrassed but I'll put it here.
Scarlett, know from before, want to intermingle energies, ? have done before, were close friends before? partially merge?   is this due to the fact she is fully awakened and at a higher vibrational level, or indeed from before I came here and were close friends?

though souls are likely what humans would call closer, so intermingling energies may feel more intimate to  humans to souls it is normal and friends and close friends may just do this like 2 humans may say hello or good morning to each other, soul friends may intermingle energies.  close friends may partially or temporarily merge at times.  ?  feels like either it's right or partially right.    I'll find out eventually.  :) 

& matt kahn then?  acquaintance, or friend of friend I didn't interact with much?  different focuses or interests there?

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Tried to do the observer thing.  Feel warmth between incarnate human & shadow self.  maybe warmth since they are merging.  Soul part not merging, waiting to start process till the human incarnate and shadow self are fully marged?

Do I feel more integrated?  I think so, though the process is not finished I'd guess.  I can't feel the shadow self as well.  Maybe cause we are more merged then few days ago?  It does feel closer, overlapping with this body or right next to it, touching?  Possible.

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The remerging comment of I'll have a choice wether I wish to remerge with it or not. that I got a few weeks ago roughly.   could that mean with my oversoul that I'm part of.  Have I been in contact with my oversoul and soul?

Thought that and tried going to the between thoughts observe thing, not sure how well I succeeded I did ask about that, the re merging comment once I'm over there, refering to my oversoul instead of soul, and I got "you're on the right tract."

Or can it refer to this me is a soul and will remerge into one.  There is a soul part, I'll choose to merge with or be a seperate soul, and above that is who knows how many layers of oversouls.  feels like it can get pretty complicated.

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Went to have some fun with the Thursday group.  Like last week I could feel, that everyone is an aspect of everyone else, yet is also an individual. 

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At the bus stop, or on the bus, it felt sort of like part of me started to soak up emotions from some nearby.  I used an idea I saw in Matt's video that I saw.  I said, "that's not me.  It's a past phase and the phase I'm in now I'm supposed to anchor new vibration or something".  and the bit of ? emotion, or whatever vanished and I felt lighter.   I wonder if this is permanent or Should I keep repeating this to myself?  and why did being vague work since I don't recall exactly what he said.  Hmm.  maybe there some automatic system built or programmed into me somewhere that responded to that.  maybe I said enough to flick a switch in me somewhere?  I still wonder if it is permanent or will I need to repeat it?

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Also had an other experience while I was in the rpg game.  I felt that we had maybe agreed on possibly meeting before we incarnated.  Also I got other stuff that took me a while to understand.

It was a bunch of images piled on top of each other at once. I was able to understand the images later.  Some humanish looking, some have tails, slit eyes & reptilian skin, some not. Some rooms darker then rooms on earth.  Playing rpg's using high tech.  ? VR,? holograms, and other technology? many different worlds?

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I tried to be in the space between my aspects.  Not to sure if I did very well or not.  It was a type of silence, but I was still conscious and could do stuff like normal.  I think I liked that.  I could feel 2 aspects were merging.  Another was nearby to them sorta.  Soul maybe?  There were other aspects also.  Were those like the ego and subconscious mind, or other types of aspects? 

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Also, almost forgot to mention.  I didn't really stutter.  before I'd stutter off and on.  Today at the rpg group it seemed I didn't stutter.   I would pause in my talking for a moment, but I could continue, but I wouldn't stutter.  hmm.

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cetaceans, something does stir at the back of my mind.  ? humanoidish dolphins maybe?  very sensual?  sexually open?  not humanoid but still sentient?  not sure.  pretty vague.

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A connection or draw to dolphins, dragons, nagas (reptilian & not half human) orcas, to a lesser extent lizards & snakes, why is that?  what can it mean?  maybe one day I'll find out.

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Tried a bit more sitting between thoughts and asking whoever some questions.  I wonder who answers.

 Why the attraction draw connection to dolphins ect? 

"it could come from some of my past experiences, perhaps incarnations I've had/have there, perhaps being a guide or other things there."  Sort of feels in a kidding teasing in a friendly manner, but not going to outright answer? 

Why do souls intermingle energy and merge?

"intermingling energies is a thing all soul friends do.  Very close soul friends mingle a lot of their energies, and more.  it not only forges deep connections and closeness it also helps one to experience the energy of another.  partially merging is for much the same reason as well as fostering more closeness.  it can have other benefits also.  The fostering closeness between 2, or more then 2 soul friends is a natural thing and will just happen between the souls.  No reason to hold back.  though not every soul gets along with every other soul."

Silly question : Does that mean there are wild parties and orgies there?  "Boy wait till you get here and see first hand.  I'll let that be a surprise." 

How do I awaken and ascend?  "relax, it'll happen regardless.  just depends on the speed.  fight and it will happen slower.  relax and it'll happen faster and be fun.  get advice from scarlet and others that you may yet meet and it may be even more fun then now." 

So what is it like being an oversoul, assuming they do exist? "using your terms they do.  it's just a term for a soul that has souls that is a part of it.  it can get pretty complicated with many layers, and for your next question yes one day you will be one yourself.  It naturally happens to souls unless they choose to personalty re merge with the soul they are a part of.  So when you get to this side and choose to not re merge, but to remain an independent soul, you will inevitably will become an oversoul eventually.  the process will happen.  Though our soul family is large, 1 more is always a great thing to celebrate.  Though wither you choose to re merge or not you are already a member of our family.  Though the way we experience time your choice is already known and us asking you will be a mere formality.  that is your personal future so no need to think of it.  As fun as speculating can be."

can incarnates mingle energies?  "certainly, though how awake one is may measure what the consciously feel from the experience.  both involved may well learn from the experience and it may help learning for both in a more faster fashion, but it should perhaps only be done by 2 who are at least partially awake and already feel a connection."

What about: "the connection is there since on this side you are/were close friends in some projects and things you did together.  I'll be a bit vague  since the truth will be a surprise that way." The answer came out even before i finished asking it.   I was going to ask about Scarlett.   I'll leave it in and think about deleting it later.  since I may get a bit bashful of this.

came with out my asking: "At your current level you can be more conscious of at least some soul connections.  more dormant lower ones you may find a bit harder to feel, at least at this stage."

So souls do like to indulge in soul sex with the parts of itself?  "that you already know the answer to first hand.  Though soul sex is an ok label, it's not a proper one to ....."

"sharing is a better term or label if you wish to use one.  That is between 2 souls.  that label you use for parts of soul is the more fun way for parts to merge, integrate.  Why do it a regular way when there is a more fun pleasurable way.  :)  "

"Though 2 parts of the same soul who are not merging/integrating can share too.  Perhaps you'll find out one day or soon."

Some of this stuff I'm to bashful to put on SF, on here is fine.

wasn't gong to put this here but someone, soul, soul group, oversoul?  kept nudging me very very gently and I knew it would keep it up till I agreed.  

"why would a soul not wish to share a part of their very being with another, or merge their beings even temporarily , or partially.  you've experienced some of that before and will in the future.  "