Tuesday  [1-20]

I tried to do a short meditation on sharing love with the soul aspect and any other aspects of me that wanted to come.  Soul did also a mental sorta hug, but also gave me the same non human image.  I wonder why it does this. I do like anthro cetacean pictures, but also other anthro and non anthro like dragons, reptilains and certain others. I do wonder if it likes the tactician ones better or if there is some message I'm not quite catching.  It felt like another aspect did join in as well.  Not sure if that was shadow aspect or another one.  Also not sure if I've fully integrated with shadow aspect or not.  It also felt like soul aspect was keeping a more intense amount of love just below the surface, so to speak, where I could feel it.  Maybe keeping it down not to overwhelm me or something, or that much may knock me out of the experience. 

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I do wonder what aspect of me that is that when I did the open invitation for any aspects of me to come and share in the love.  It always does show up, so far.  It feels like it has around the same level of energy I have so I'd guess not my shadow aspect.  No idea if i have fully integrated with Shadow aspect yet or not, but at the start of the integration it felt like the shadow aspect had around 2-4 times more energy then I had in this body.  So it's not shadow aspect.  When I asked soul aspect what aspect it was all it would say is [it's another me] which I knew so no answer there, just curious.  and curious if I have integrated with shadow aspect fully or not. 

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Not sure how my energy changed or exactly when it did yesterday.  I'm use to the way it feels currently.

Also did a short meditation of sending some of the sexual desire to soul aspect.  Felt like it enjoyed that.  Then I got the idea to include some other aspects to share with them.  My sex drive/urge went to around mid level and shot up to normal max, when I stopped.  Didn't want it to get to high.   Seems I got back more then I gave.
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Not sure what I experienced would count as another non abiding awakening.  I was playing a game on my tablet and had something playing on youtube, just as background noise.  I decided to see if I could go between my thoughts then see if I could step back to feel the aspects of me while i was playing the game and.... the only way I can explain it was being 2 and 2 at once.  This me went on playing the game and not thinking while I was also soul.  It basically did the equivalent of shaking it's head and thinking "humans, one day they'll learn." in reference to the YouTube video.  It was talking about how a group of families and the upper echelons of the military control so many things.  I only picked it to listen to since the title made it sound like it was about something else and not what it was about.  I thought it would talk about some of the Sirius stuff.   It felt so normal doing that that it was quite a few minutes, around the time I stopped the video since it was boring, when I then realized what had happened.   I have no real interest in world events and such.  They'll play themselves out and will continue till humans eventually learn centuries from now.   

I guess I experienced again, as I have, what it is really like to be multidimensional.  I've experienced it before and when i do i never notice since it is so normal for soul that I don't notice at the time.  & it can take minutes or longer before I do realize what happened.

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Had an interesting short experience when i awoke from a nap.  I was laying in bed and thinking on an experience I had earlier and again was both the incarnate laying in the bed and the soul, both at the same time.  Soul aspect did say [soul is love].  I guess using the singular since there really is just 1 soul, with many different identities. 

I also saw a video on youtube about starseed origins.  I didn't know there could be that many possibilities for systems & planets of origin. 

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Decided to ask soul about the implants as i was typing this, took a brief break. 

me: 'what were the implants for that were removed from me?" 
soul: They were to help in communications and your projecting.  Since i was to be a guide of sorts for you.

me: "what age were they put in?"
soul: 3

me (think I asked this before but not sure).  Why were they removed?
soul: no longer needed.
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I asked a few more questions of soul aspect, 1 question it won't answer.  I'll try to put it down as accurately as I can.

me: "so you can could just get implants to put into your incarnation?"
soul: Well, I am a high ranking member.

me: "high ranking, what do you mean by that?  High ranking member of what?"
soul doesn't answer.  I get the feel it's like smiling and purposely not answering.

Me: "ok, then does that mean when I become a separate soul with your memories will I be a member of whatever organization with your rank"
Soul (sorta a mental shrug): certainly, why would you not be?

Me: "ok, do I have your rank now in whatever organization it is?"
soul (again sorta a mental shrug): certainly, you are me (pauses for a bit) for now.

The last part I assume means I'm it and it is me till the incarnation is over and I will choose to be a separate soul with it's memories.  So it seems since I guess I am an incarnation of a soul with a high rank in some organization or something I have no knowledge about.  

Silly pondering: if true, where's my cool flying sports car/starship? 

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I went between thoughts again briefly and this time since someone mentioned I was connected to the earth grid decided to see if I could feel that.  it seems that only when I'm not thinking and I feel around in a certain way i can feel I'm connected to some sort of huge grid and there is some sort of energy coming through me into the grid. The energy feels like it comes from sorta above somewhere.  It also feels different then my energy feels.  Not soul energy perhaps.
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Found what soul sorta looks like when it gives me a mental image or I see a mental image. Not sure if I'm seeing it or it's sending me one at those times. I thought the face and forehead looked familiar and I finally remembered and looked up. It sorta looks like a beluga whale, but the eyes are more forward facing and I'm not sure if the melon is as large as in a beluga.
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