Saturday, February 14, 2015

Saturday 2 [2-14]

One thing I need to work on is accepting this as really happening.

My main path seems to be what some would call awakening or ascension. Not sure of the term. It seems to be realizing my true soul self, removing the human programming and conditioning that we pick up and happens to use from young childhood. Becoming as much of my true soul self as I can here. That may be a thing that will be unfolding for the rest of this body's life. Though I assume the biggest amounts will happen over say a few months or a year, then after that it'll be more refining and going bit by bit since I'm not sure if a human body can contain all of a soul's energy.

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On to some of the questions. Seeing what I an answer myself without asking soul, either of the 2 guides, twin flame or the one I call green sister. Though i do hope they continue talking to me since otherwise I start feeling really lonely at a soul level instead of at a human level. There is a difference, its hard to explain. I do hope I can find maybe another 1 or a few I can talk to about this still online. especially a few more in rl who live close to me that I can maybe keep in contact with by a variety of means. phone, email, IM, ect. and meet up with a few times a month.

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I am curious what spiritually will be in my future, but i may find out about that eventually. Though maybe my awakening and becoming more of my true soul self is the only main end goal.

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Death: death is a type of awakening? incarnating on earth is like being sleep, or only slightly awake? the method of death may require one to have some to need some treatment. Also the degree of one's being awakened to one's true soul self may dictate the death to awakening process. those who are totally asleep may need more time, also like I mentioned the type of death will also.

one may need to rest and recover somewhere, not sure where. & where does one wind up right after death? that I don't' seem to know as of yet. but a member of one's soul family, usually immediate soul family, or a guide, will lead one to a place to rest and talk to them in a casual setting. Sort of like 2 folks sitting in a park or quit cafe to relax and talk.

Then they are lead back to where their immediate soul family and soul family resides usually, or usually hangs out. There is usually a celebration of some sort on their coming home. Attended by the immediate soul family and close soul friends. Though depending on how much of the soul was in the body some percent of them may not have left the area, or something like that. This is still a celebration since the person is fully here and back. Though some places like earth are more severe, in other places incarnating is not so severe or limiting.

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Think I'm getting the inklings of past lives.  Not sure if it is the past lives of the soul I was once part of and I choose to recall, making me a new/old soul. 

I think I had past lives at least 1 as a light blue skinned humanoid being.  not sure how many I had as this being.  I also had some as some kind of reptilian being.  More then 1 maybe, same as the blue skinned humanoid.  have I had any as a dolphin type being, or has former soul not done that since we are dolphin type beings at the soul level and are that most of the time. 

Talked with Dan briefly, mentally was in 2 places briefly.  helped to ease my feeling homesick.  Dan said it is a normal feeling.  A thing that comes up at times as I become more of my true self. 

I wonder if the reptilian past lives former soul has had was any of that draco stuff I've heard some talk about.  maybe and maybe not.  Though I could and should consider those past lives of mine I guess since I was not me, I was part of that soul so I was there too.  Though I didn't become a new/old soul till recently. 

Also pondering.  Could a soul be a hybrid.  Makes me wonder if I'm a pure cetacean being type soul, or partially of 2.  or is it just that soul has had a number of lives as varius species when it incarnated. 

can't really contemplate that since I'm being interrupted by the 2 im programs so have to stop and ponder this later when things quieten down.  I do not see how humans could be a hybrid species since wouldn't the genome project figure that out or detect there was some discrepancy genetically? 

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Hmm, could the soul I'm part of now be a hybrid?  I asked and think it said yes.  4 souls created it.  3 dolphin/orcas and 1 it was vague on, reptilian dragon draconian.  No biggie.  Not sure if it is true or I imagined it. 

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<The 4 were very close.  As a sign of their closeness and the love they felt for each other they decided to make at least 1 soul using the usual using elements of their being.  sort of like you've said using elements of their being, some of their energy like strands and their intent weaving together to make a new soul, me.  And you are of my lineage.  Being formerly a part of the soul who was an aspect of me.  you were not an aspect then.  but Became one when you accepted my offer.  The best option that you could make.>

<those were your past lives since you were part of that soul, even though you were not you yet.>

"Yes, I choose to remember that so I'd be a new/old soul. Do I need to say my intent to have full recall of what is now my soul parent's memory since I was once part of it?"  <No, you stated your intent once.  your twin flame and all of us wanted the same, so there is multiple intents playing into this.  we are all glad you made the best choice that you did.> 


"are they members of the pod?" <somewhat, they are fairly high level so keep to others of their level for the most part.  Though one of them has contacted you more then once.>

"That female voice that talked to me a few times that didn't identify herself?"   <yes. and why be surprised by her interest.  You are of her lineage since you are of mine.>

?Is she a dolphin, orca or reptilian type soul?"  <yes.>

"which one, and why are you being vaugish when it comes to the reptilian of your soul parentage?  <there is a reason why for my vagueness. >

"Meaning what the 1 non dolphin/orca soul who made you is is not important?'  <that may be the reason, or part of it.> 

"could the reptilan one be a hybrid, of 2 types of reptilians? <possible, maybe that one likes to be different forms, maybe various past lives. maybe that one is a winged reptilian naga, so looks both dragon and reptilian naga like. Or maybe that one likes to look different ways, reptilian naga, dragon, winged naga.>

"Will I evenually meet the 4 of them?" <yes, I guarantee it, but not saying when or a guess.>

"is that why I like dolphins, orcas and certain reptilians like dragons and reptilian nagas, images of them ect?" <it may well be.>

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Ah, ok.  How much is the book, and is it true?

I may stay home. It is cold, it has rained with a 50% chance of rain, and an overcast. though the overcast I don't mind.  My eyes being very very light sensitive I like overcast skies since they are more confortable to walk around in.  Think I'll get ready and head out to see what the weather feels like sinc eon the way back I do have ot b eout in it for 30 minutes at least.  If it's to bad I may turn around an dhead back home.

While napping i got more resonating vibrations from whoever, no idea.  But the soul I'm part of did give me some interesting information.  maybe also part of why when I asked it our relationship it said it's complicated. 

The soul I was part of maybe didn't like the non cetacean bit maybe of its soul linage.  My twin flame is pure phin, when I split off from him I became a perfect hybrid being 50% cetacean, to use human terms, and half reptilian, though when it said reptilian it was vague in if it is reptilian naga, dragon, reptilian. though that may be a mix. 

makes me wonder if the soul I'm currently an external aspect of maybe donated some elements of itself maybe.  Due to my liking dolphins, dragons orcas, reptilian serpentlike nagas.  Maybe subconsciously or something i wanted to have half of my soul heritage be cetacean, dolphin/orca and half reptilian type, took what I could from the soul i was part of, sort of copying it's soul elements, maybe a donation from the soul I am part of. did any other contribute?  I'll hae to mediate on that.

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I did get ready to go to the sahaja yoga.  but about half way to the place I need to catch a bus to get htere I decided to head back.  most of me didn't want to go, but a small part did.  Most of me seemed to want to explore this reptilian thing today that I may be part soul lineage of. 

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I can't find a price anywhere, and as per my previous rules i assume each book is a billion dollars.  I always assume that if I can't find a price on something. 

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I wonder if there are any ramifications of my being half dolphin/orca (though orcas are really just large dolphins) and half reptilian, but what sort of reptilian.

I wonder if Chad was a part of me that was split of at my childhood or was it a rejected part of the soul I was part of?  and I needed to accept it.  and what about Sam.  Was he another aspect of me or the soul I was part of?  or was he another soul I accepted as a part of myself, if that is even possible. 

Did the soul I was once part of reject or not like the non phin part of his soul heritage, if that is possible.  Did he experience life as various reptilian species and I wonder if he was a draco.  Is that what Chad was and sam or something else?  Not that I know much about Dracos.  Even less about reptilians.  are they the same or different?

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the urge and desire to masturbate is separate from the sex drive since it is pleasurable act. it is normal to feel like this and normal to indulge, it, especially given my soul heritage/lineage as a phin soul.

? Former Soul did an incarnation as me, and also maybe another, or did Chad split off early from me? he explored the lower astral, living there? encountered some Dracos, some were cool ok types. misunderstood why i was afraid and rejected him. he was mad and fought me till she spoke to him and he came to understand me more. We did become great friends, he said, very true. and we can still have some fun, he reminds me. Very true also. he wasn't merge into me since he wanted to remain as an internal aspect, not become fully part of me.

Sam was sent or came here because of what i am. I accepted him with love and at first resisting he surrendered when he felt the effect the light was having on him and likes being of the light. Doesn't have much to say usually since he's still learning and also an internal aspect.

The soul I was once part of became a pure phin soul and I became half phin and half reptilian (but what type or of mixed reptilian heritage, or am I making this up?) the soul I am part of new maybe donated some parts and one of his soul parents, a female, perhaps did some bits also. Which may be why I have heard from her occasionally. Which makes me as soul I'm an external aspect said, a perfect hybrid. Though since the soul I was once part of is a pod member and I choose to retain his wisdom, learned experience, ect I am also a native pod member. Also due to my twin soul, the one I call green sister regarding me as a fellow pod member & a sibling due to one of her favorite past incarnations, and other factors like my soul heritage, as I mentioned above. I do like that and do feel like the pod is my true home.

Just some stuff that came to me while I was meditating a short time ago. No idea if it any of this is true or it's made up. Or if it is like partially true. Maybe some reptilians hangout with the pod as friends, or pod members even.

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Not sure who I got this message from.  I was thinking that if I do feel a connection or a strong liking for dolphins, orcas, certain reptilian types like dragons, serpent nagas, ect. Why that's not come to the forefront yet, just the dolphins and a bit later the orcas.  no idea who said this but I got something like:

<that is due to the feelings the soul that you were once part of.  There came a time when you had to split off to become an individual soul, an aspect of your soul's parent.  your feelings about reptilians dolphins and orcas was part of the part of him he>  ?? repressed, didn't like?  not sure of the exact meaning or words.  <then you could experience as you are now, a new being, new/old soul with being half of reptilian type and half dolphin/orca.  The exacty percentage isn't really important.>    Hmmm, new voice.  Contact stimulated my 2nd chakra for some reason.  and i think my kundalini slightly and the top of my head too I think.

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had an interesting encounter. Had him, feels like male. The conversation was short and in 2 or 3 bits.

He said he was to help teach me about my reptilian soul heritage. help me get in touch with it and more of my self. I wasn't sure and asked if he was of the light. I wasn't sure why I asked that, it just came out. he said if he wasn't of the light could he do this and I felt like he touched a cheek to mine and he fondled my behind with both of his hands and in my chest I felt something like a love/joy/pleasure that seemed to erupt for somewhere inside my chest.

I asked if we were going to do doing the sharing, like my 2 dolphin/orca type being guides and the rest of the pod likes to do. he said no. we'd get to know each other first. That may come later. He said he hoped we would become friends, or hopefully very good friends. he mentioned that my pod certainly knows how to have fun. He helped me to relax, since by this time I was laying down. I saw him and he looked reptilian, neat I thought. Couldn't tell the color since it seems I can't see color when I was with him, but that is ok. I asked him where he is and he said 5d. I asked if he went back and forth from 5d to 6d since he did mention the pod and that sounded like he visited them and he said yes. It seemed like we were sort of sitting and talking. Sitting somewhere, not sure where, facing each other .

Then I awoke. Felt like I was rocking sort of, then failing and then I awoke. Felt like the conversation we had was only a short time, maybe 5 minutes but when I looked at the clock it seems that am hour had passed from the time i last looked at the clock and lay down to just then.

As a last message when I was getting up he said for me to do some qi going that day, to keep practicing.

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I wonder if trying to learn how to deepen my meditation may help. I'll try to do that.  I'd like to do that.  I'll have to try to learn how to do that since though I've meditated a lot, it's usually light. If I go medium or deep it just happens with no control. 

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hmm, think I'll watch the addams family.  I wonder if I'll like the addams family when I'm back in my soul home, or if I'll even remember them. 

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Hmm,  I think Dan said the new guide is on the same ship he's on.   I wonder if they are friends.  I also wonder who asked him to contact me.  Was it Dan, or someone else?  and what will it mean if he teaches me about my reptilian soul heritage?  I wonder what it means to be a hybrid soul.  I guess not much overall.

to bad I can't study and read on my own to find out about my dolphin/orca and reptilian soul heritage.  I'd love to read it like I am the first Seth book.  Great book. 

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I wonder, when the physical body dies, is that awakening from a dream where one has on a sort of straight jacket one awakens to one's true full self?

I acept that I'll be mostly alone most of my life.  I need to be, i guess for the growth I'm going through and perhaps for other reasons also.  i do wonder if I am mostly alone in my true real life when i won't be incarnating here. 

At peace with oneself, acceptance of oneself. a grand thing.  though perhaps silly to say.

 I also accept that I'll have only 1 person to talk to about my experiences that has anything similar.  at least i have that 1.  that is something.  as bizarre and strange as my experiences are. 

I wonder what talking to the new person will lead to, the reptilian guy.  or if it'll lead to anything.  What does he mean by teaching me about my reptilian soul heritage?  I know really nothing about my dolphin/orca soul heritage.  Apart from they seem to enjoy sharing and can be whatever shape or form they want to be in.  I suspect I'll not know till this incarnation is over and I'm fully there.  if I'll know even then. 

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Just as I've suspected.  For some reason it seems with qi gong I can remain between my thoughts very easy.  But during regular meditation I'm no where as good.  I wonder why.  Maybe some mess up in me somewhere.  

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I wonder how much of my true self I am now.  I wonder if I can ever be my full self while I am incarnated.  Tomorrow I should explore more of the questions I have a list of. 

What is my dolphin/orca soul heritage and my reptilian heritage?  what does it really mean?  Will I ever know.  They all seem to not like to give details.  I'll likely not find anything out.  I've gotten use to them not giving any details.  I don't even bother to ask to often.  Soon I'll be where i won't ask at all about anything.  after all, why ask then usually they don't tell you anything or they are very vague.  Just a waste of time asking.  Saves time and energy not asking.


Glad I get along with me. Since I'm the only one I have to talk to that is in this world.  Having 1 person to talk to online is good.  Though she is very busy and lives in a very different time zone. But at least I do have 1.  That is a big something. 

I do have my 2 guides, or 3 i guess now, plus my twin, green sister and the soul i'm an external aspect of, not that they talk to me much, depending on what phase I'm in.  if it's like the current one they really don't talk.  But I explained why above and I can at least contact them when I feel the need to releave a bit of homesickness.

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I wonder if when I do get back home if I'll need much time to adjust to being back home or not. 

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