Sunday [2]  2-8

I read the book as a pre teen or early teen, and have remembered it ever sense.  As I dimly recall when I read what certain words meant like dorsal fin, rostrum, it was sorta like I was reminded of something I forgot.

Not sure if my recent experiences confirm what your suspicions are, or not.

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Had a few interesting experiences.  When I lay down to nap part of me was on somewhere with maybe the technician and had the same tube thing down my throat, barely able to feel it and the airtight seal somehow in my mouth jaw.  I could feel more of that light stuff being pumped into me, or whatever it's doing.  she did comment this time it would be a bit different.  the next stage would require my being fully unconscious. She pressed buttons or did something and I could feel both bodies seem to start quickly going to sleep.  Before I fully lost consciousness I did ask her if you, meaning plural you, can do something about the abdominal discomfiture and pain.  She commented something like that we'd take that into consideration. 

When I awoke it felt like the tube was sorta in my physical body's throat and i was begin filled again with that light fluid or whatever it was I felt a bit lighter then normal as it seemed to fill the entire inside to the body to the skin, and still more somehow was being pumped in.  Then it felt like after a short time it was being drawn out. 

then poof the tube was gone.  Then it felt like somehow I as being filled with more of that light fluid stuff, from somewhere in my abdominal area.  It went much as before.  Except instead of stopping where my human skin was this time it seemed to expand like a balloon and get larger.  Not sure how large it went to.  Can't tell what it's shape was other then anthro humanoidish.  Though then it felt like whatever that body balloon thing was grew a dorsal fin. it felt like it was triangular, like an adult male orca and then like it grew a tail or a tail was inflated.  though I could only vaguely feel the tail, like it wasn't defined very well.  Though i could move it about a little.  I couldn't tell it's shape, or if it had flukes or not at the end of the tail.  After a few seconds it felt like the it the fluid was being drawn back out and the balloon body deflated and was gone.  Then something felt like it was unconnected from somewhere inside my abdominal area. 

I do feel a slight soreness in the abdominal area, around where the stomach is or a bit lower, but above my navel.  and the same either resonance or energy rushing, not sure which, for the lower half, abdominal area down, sort or pulsing, but not based on my heartbeat.

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A bit bashful and embarrassed at posting this here, but I figure if I don't it may result in issues i'll have to deal with later, or maybe its me working through certain issues now. 

"so, my finding you, sexy is normal and not wrong?"

Felt like 2 hands on my behind and being drawn chest to chest to him, both are at eye level. <I'd find it odd if you did not.> Dan said then

"So the fact I want to, uh, have sex or share with you. I felt then a tingling around my penis.  <We are both dolphins, orcas.  I'd find it odd if you didn't.>  Then I felt what felt like 2 hands on my behind again, <certain things have to happen and be done first.  but i do promise the first time we, share, it can be regular after that if you wish.>

"I like, that." i say pausing and dan smiles. 

"So, I guess i could use the term oversoul or, soul grand parent?"  He seems to pause to think for a moment or just to pause for some reason, <before I'd say yes, now our relationship is,... complicated.> 

"and you did promise to say at the full disclosure time." i said he smiles and brings me close to him. <sure, though you may, feel or know, or even know before then.  but tell me, do you prefer a human or orca?> he asked and as he asked i got a mental image of a close up image of a human then an orca penis.  I'm a but surprise by this sudden question and pause for a moment.  "well, orca if it's my decision." still no idea why he asked this.  he seems to nod.  <good.>  not sure why he suddenly asked that for no reason i can think of.  Then he asked which vulva i prefer, I said orca. <excellent, good, good.> he said, not sure if that was to me or someone else.  or both. 

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<embrace your sexual nature, you are an orca, a dolphin.  Embrace it, in a spiritual sense, not the human sense.>


I feel I have for the most part.  then I get a thought from him before, <great, it is a part of you, natural, accept this.  in the spiritual soul sense.>
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<In fact if a fellow pod member didn't want to share  I'd have a healer look at them to see if they were unwell.>

<Same if they didn't feel the urge.  No need to constantly have the desire.> 
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Had a sorta maybe silly idea.  I still have no idea what that dissolving into Dan my oversoul, or soul grandparent was about or why he wanted to do that.  I do wonder if that means I sorta have 2 soul parents.  The Soul I'm part of and Dan.  I'd guess a soul can't exchange an aspect like the soul I'm part of can't sort of can't say it's ok if I become an aspect of Dan.  Not sure if that is even possible.  or if it is why those 2 would want to do that.  Not that I think the soul I'm part of is ashamed of me or anything.  if it were possible and was done it would be for some plan they have for my greater good or something like that. 

just some silly thoughts I had.  i expect if it were possible to switch being an aspect from this soul to that one, I guess I'd know and would have to agree, though it is also possible that I agreed to not remember or be aware of this like during a dream that I don't recall.  i have remembered a memory from soul's point of view decades later.  Though I mention that in an earlier yourspace page of mine.  Where for a while in my 20's i did loose interest in new age and spiritual, mystic stuff for a while.  and on that page I did say, i had suddenly remembered soul telling me something like, "let's take a break from this and live like a normal human for a while." so it could be something like that where I'll remember later some point.  or that compressed memory I said more recently where I had a certain memory all my life, but remembered the whole thing a week or 2 ago, concerning the chips being put into me at a young age. 

Just some silly ideas I had that I thought, why not put them down.  :)

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Had an unusual experience.

I woke up from my nap and felt like a band of resonance from my kundalini at the stomach level, going around my body at stomach level, like a belt or something.

Then after a bit I think another stage of the whatever process happened. During this I felt unable to move. Not sleep paralysis, felt more like a sort of block where if something happened here they would and could remove it. Besides I've had sleep paralysis before and know exactly how to get out of that. Focus intently on moving 1 finger. I usually pick the index finger. Then when that finger can move, move the next finger, and so on. I find usually after I can move 3 fingers I can move my hand, thumb and all fingers, once I move my hand I find then the sleep paralysis is over.

It felt like something was being put onto my back, small pea sized somethings, maybe sensors or something. They were being put on various spots. I'm guessing the sensor things and the work I describe below was being done to some sort of energy body of mine. No idea if it's true or what energy body or why.

Felt like my genitals were being shaped, or something, penis and external vulva then internal. Don't recall if the anal area felt like it was shaped or not.

That didn't work in this case. I couldn't move 1 finger or anything. Dan did mention that this stage required I be awake and in my body but that it required I not work. It felt like some sort of instruments that had a high resonance to them kept going into my abdominal area and doing stuff. Some of it was momentarily painful, like things were being pulled out, or scooped out. and other times it just felt odd, like those high resonance instruments, medical robot instruments were going into my abdominal and doing different stuff at the same time. at times I felt very light like I could float. Dan did give me a hug a few times during this. On my comment of why all the abdominal work stuff whatever was doing he said the abdominal area is a very important area.

felt like at some point my back was pulled way out, then part of it shaped into a triangular dorsal fin.

The odd thing was i did ask Dan a few questions during this, not sure if I understand the conflict.

I asked if I was an aspect of his and he said yes, and also yes to that i'm an aspect of the soul I was part of say a week ago. my twin flame is still my twin flame, but the intensity may be less or lowered, at least till we first mingle energies or share, then it'll be back to it's normal intensity.

I asked ok so who's my soul parent and he said, it's complicated.

Not sure of this experience, not sure if anyone has any ideas what may have been going on or what energy body they were working on, or the meaning of what Dan said. Dan is my oversoul, grand soul parent, or was a week ago, now I'm not sure exactly what he is. He picked the name Dan as I said above since I felt calling him oversoul was to impersonal.

I say he since he diffidently always feels male to me. As does his aspect who is, or was, one of my guides, though he doesn't like that term.

not sure if it is their preference, or if they are doing it for a specific reason. But Stan the guide guy diffidently seems to like only gay type sex, or at least in my experience. The others I've shared with on a regular basis, like my higher self, twin flame, seem to be bi or pansexual. and in the case of me, higher self and twin flame change their gender, though Twin flame has usually been female. higher self seems to change, i guess based on his/her/hir mood. mine seems based on the situation, but I guess usually it's male. Maybe since I'm incarnate in a male body. Or maybe I'm open to the gender I am between male, female, herm, but may have a preference to be male.


I wonder what other folk's thoughts are on all this.

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had yet another interesting experience.  I heard whoever it is again.  This time it said something like, "don't believe them.  They'll destroy you." 

I asked Dan what I should do.  he said to not listen to him, send him love and accept him.  I did this, then got an idea that maybe it's an aspect of me.  I decided to go a step farther and visualized putting my hands on him.  I got the mental image of a reptilian humanoid with claws and a tail.  I said something like, "we were meant to be 1 whole being, not the fragmented being we are now.  Let's become the whole being we were meant to be.  At first he did slightly move around a bit, saying "no, no.".  Like part of him was slightly reluctant or unsure, but most of him really didn't want to stop what I was doing, and he never had or felt aggressive towards me.  As I visualized pulling him into me, and I was doing a standing open eyed meditation during this, he stopped moving and as I visualized and used my arms too while doing this. As I had him almost pulled into me it felt like he relaxed and as I pulled him into me he said an unemotional "fine." then it felt like he choose to surrender to the process.  Once I had pulled him inside me and he surrendered or what ever he did I felt a burst of warmth inside me.  a second or so later it did feel like he was happy at what happened and sent me a burst of love.  A thing I wasn't expecting.  and I do recall feeling, much happier with what happened.  A bit later I was going over what he said, to be sure I got it fixed in my memory so I could type it here since I was cleaning some stuff in the kitchen at that point.  I felt a sadness from him for what he said.  I said to him which felt like it made him happy, "let's not focus on how our relationship was in the past.  We've forged a new relationships, so let's focus on that and the future."  to which I got a feeling this made him happy and Chad happily said something like, "great a new buddy to play with."  also I think it felt like maybe I had a bit more energy inside me after that, not sure.

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