Friday, April 24, 2015

Friday [4-24]

I do wonder, is it to fast to be this close to being a collective member?  Perhaps not due to my having multiple parents, and as I said earlier I have stated I want access to all of my soul parent's memories and accumulated wisdom.  That may be key.  As I said before I did say I wanted soul and twin flame to have access to if they wanted.  So that may be one of the keys.  Or maybe not. 

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As I lay in bed after waking up I did try using an affirmation that I am at one with my monad.  Don't recall if I did any visualizations, I have before.  Often when i did a visualization I'd have one of them, that looks like a small sun pop up and say 'welcome brother."  though i didn't plan on doing that so maybe a part of me can reach their level, maybe since soul either has been their or often is there.  not sure if twin flame is there or visits. 

This may mean I am close to being at one with my monad group.  I guess this is what could be as moving through the 4th initiation towards the 5th. 

It does feel like I am close.  But no need to try to hurry and get it done now.  I can feel I can help it along, but I can't hurry it up or make it happen right now or an hour from now.  Just help it along a bit.

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I did the 9th meditation of the 1st part of awakening the light body, thought I did not finish it. I did a bit over half and felt that was enough.  I did learn some stuff I missed the first few times through.  

This puts me about half a day ahead of schedule.  IF I do as many tomorrow I'lll both finish the 1st part and I'll be a full day ahead of schedule.

I was thinking, instead of picking out just 24 of my favorite meditations and swapping those out as I get new courses, I may pick out say 30 since some days of the week I may do an extra meditation.  Then when I decide I have finished getting light body courses I'll go over all the light body, and maybe channeling, audio courses and pick out some meditations I want to regularly do.  Some others I'll schedule to do perhaps, and some I'll do as I see the need.  Depending on how long it'll take to do all my favorites or ones I just want to redo periodically.  I may go back and do all the courses once a year, or instead just pick out a lot I want to keep redoing and redo those, putting aside some I want to do as I see the need.

Plenty of time to decide that.

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Since I have tried channeling Twin flame, which I think went very well.  Guess she learned how to screen her energy as she said so I don't feel the intensity much really.  Though an after effect I think is now, hours later, I can kinda feel her energy if I sorta relax.  hard to explain. if I do a sorta relaxed sorta meditation, but not a full meditation, i can feel some of her energy like there is some left, I guess, from when i was channeling her.  Not that I'm saying it's unpleasant.  I do like the feel, just means I'm thinking of her a lot more then I usually do.  I wonder if she has some of my energy.  I wonder if the folks i have channeled, soul, the collective, have gotten any of my energy as i have gotten some of theirs.  I guess it could go both ways.  No ill effects for either I would assume. 


Though I do like the experience and feel of her energy in mine, or the left over or whatever the proper term is.  I don't think I'll do this daily.  It was a bit distracting, not anywhere as much as if she were to pop in beside me.  So maybe once a week or a few times a week.  Nice experience overall and one I did like and will repeat, if she's willing. 

I notice we've never used pet names that some people do, but I feel we don't need such things between us.  Or it may be just some humans who do the pet names thing. 


I tried a quick meditation on her, my twin flame and it has a sort of stillness mentally and emotionally.  hard to describe.  It's like when i do qi gong, but not as strong.  and I feel I could easily go in a direction and be thinking of her a lot, distracting infatuation, but I feel I won't slip off in that direction.  Though that is not anything like if she pops in next to me.  and if I'm here in the body when she does that it's very dulled compared to if I happen to be doing a guided meditation.  Which is not as strong as back when I could fully mentally project and be with her.  Before I lost the ability to mentally project or whatever I did, it was never astral projection.  So I can imagine what she commented on during the channel the first time we met when I'm over there will be very distracting.  But I think she commented, not sure if i typed that up or not, but I do recall her saying I'll get use to it.  and she did say she wouldn't be one of the ones to meet or greet me once I cross over since she said our meeting would be to intense.  She could press and get the ok, but that sort of thing is usually discouraged due to the intensity. 

I guess a more gradual may be ok, or if the person needs it it may be ok.  The feeling I got was somewhere after or during the latter part of my recuperation, if I need any, she may pop up.  Maybe in the distance and slowly approach, so i can get use to her energy and the effect.  

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[note from 7-25]  I had deleted some older channeling since I was going through a depression period and purging some stuff or whatever it was.  This morning I got the idea I could copy and paste them to the end of the regular posts of the same day.  Simplest way to put the older posts in.

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 7:29 PM

The only area I can think of to channel about, since the 9th course says to pick an area, is becoming 1 with the collective/monad.

<it is important to you since it is the next step in your personal evolution and growth as a person, a being, and a soul. You'll grow to the next step and if you do so while incarnated the shift and change in your energy will effect those around you and the earth grid in a positive light and manner. slight perhaps, but a number of slight shifts does really add up. and you do desire it as you have said, which is in line with yourself, yourself as a being and as a soul, so all are in harmony with this desire. It is a true soul desire one can say. part of you is already here, why not the rest?>

How close am I? <very close, don't force it, but try and don't give up. try in a laid back fun way.>

<once you are fully here you'll see how much growth you've done over 1 incarnation. The past week alone is amazing, taking your live into account to date is a huge amount>

<relax, let yourself flow up here permanently. it's easier then you think, just don't try to hard. You'll know yourself even better then you do now. See more of yourself in the higher light you are in, but not conscious of quite yet, but almost are. We will help as much as we can.>

<This will effect many areas, you'll grow more, be more of the real true you. Relax, let it happen, reach upwards, let the shift happen. Keep trying and it'll become fact one day. The reason it is smoother is indeed part of you is already here, and by now our energy is very compatible with yours. welcome here.>

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9:03 PM 

I decided to try to channel my twin flame to see what would happen and it turned out pretty well. It wasn't intense like I thought it would be.

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So can you explain our exact relationship? <we are to halves of a soul, though we are whole ourselves since no soul can be incomplete, even divided. We were split in order to explore love in it's various dynamics and dimensions, becoming true primary twin flames in time, as we worked out anything that we needed, though we didn't need to work through karma, which is only where you are, though it won't effect you and those others on certain missions, certain measurements... measures, have been taken to ensure that since it would be pointless if those who are there for a certain mission were to get trapped in karma themselves. the mission would then fail, but there were certain, steps taken and concessions made to ensure this would not happen, being trapped in karma, though that is a another manner and it, karma, does not really work as some teach it does.

I've learned to stream some of my energy so we can communicate, though you won't feel the intensiveness as you would if I were to pop in next to you. We will merge and un-merge over eternity, as I've mentioned before. Though I'm not there since we are twin flames it does enable you to focus on my energy given who we are to each other. you've felt the desire for us to be together and it is still there, stronger is the desire to merge, but it is sleeping for now.>

Do I have any of the veil left, if not why is my soul memories not super complete? <none but tatters really from what I can see/tell on this side. as for the soul memories, it is a 2 fold reason. some of it is what you've mentioned before that if you were to remember all the details of other world cultures and such it may be distracting. Also accessing the soul memories and knowledge becomes easier over time, but you must still go through the physical brain and even now you are very brain focused, that is a natural thing from there and not much one can do about it. The soul memories and knowledge are immense. and knowing all about Sirius, Pleiades, arcturian and other cultures is not really needed. Glimpses into the past and parallel lives sure, but it can be distracting if you were to delve deeply into them and we, soul and I, are glad you have only a sort of passing interest. Though connecting to help other incarnations and past lives can be interesting and helpful for all involved.>

is it normal to be partially bored with things here? <indeed, you are awakened and aware so you do wish to be here again with all the options open to you here. Though time must still pass there until you can be here, nothing can be done about that. Though you have surpassed your original personal mission original soul set for itself when it incarnated as you. you've chosen to go to the next step and become one and aware of the monad that is the soul group or soul family we are decided from, call it 1 step up. though there are other steps up from that. it's a great place, as you have experienced and i have too. I do visit it as you have felt my energy at times mixing with soul and the others of the collective when you channel at times. Though i do prefer to be closer to where you are to help you. Between you and soul often. Though some of the energy work done will continue, that you have felt.

As for the primary mission, that you can do without doing anything, just existing, though the balance has been tipped along the needed direction so it is helpful but not strictly needed. Though it may seem a long time before you are here again, continue doing the light body courses and other soul and spiritual stuff, do what is fun, focus on fun and you'll be back among us here sooner, then you know since perceptive time will pass faster. >

<The way back to this side will be as easy and passing as we can manage it withing what is allowed for there. quick, and easy as we can manage.>

I do like the intensity of our relationship. <you're not the only one. the intensity is normal and the way we both enjoy it as thoroughly as we do is a further sign we have nothing between us, except for the part of you that is there incarnated in the human body and not fully here. if you think you've felt the intensity, wait til you're here. Then you'll feel the pure essence of it. But don't worry, it won't be overpowering or anything. and we'll both enjoy it. >

My current soul being the part of me not incarnated here? <indeed, that is your exact relationship with him.>

I felt as much, feel as much I should say <one main sign the 2 of you are one and you have reached your personal mission. and on to the next one.>

to become one with the monad, or the collective as they call themselves. us being descended from 1 of the members. to know and feel myself as 1 with them, an equal. ? similar but a bit different then soul and me? <yes, a subtle difference, but you do feel it now. part of you, us really, is already there. that is why channeling them is much easier since soul is there. if not all the time it can now travel to and from there. coming closer when you need energy work done and he'll be the one to do it. relax and you'll be there before you know it. It's really a gentle slight mental shift, not unlike a switch, but one you can't force. you can help it along as you have been doing, but it has to do it at the time, as you and soul becoming one.>

when I think of you in various ways do you think of me at those times? <indeed, and we are very good at distracting each other. whether we don't meant to, or if we do as part of one of the various ways we can have fun.>

You said there is some work and energy work that only primary twin flames can do. is that for the reason for part of the training thing where you have popped up during a guided mediation or 2? <yes, to help you focus on the task at hand even though I was present. we both need to do that and by the time you are here it'll be second nature. you are doing very well in that regard and it is already almost easy for you to do. it's as distracting for me but easier in a way since I'm here and you are not fully here. hard to describe. but you'll find you're a natural at it, don't try to hard and just do it, as you have done.>

Once I get the hang of it, after you telling me to focus, it is not to hard. though it is like night and day if I'm doing something and you are here or not. <yes, as you've noticed it'll continue to get easier. though once you are fully here you'll really notice the intensity. The training we've done will help you a lot in that regard. take it easy and don't try to rush anything soul or spiritual. >

so we are really sorta halves of 1 soul, not exact but sorta like that? <Sorta is right. and over numerous lifetimes we have had a special sort of love grow between us that you have experienced. you've felt it. as intense as it is it even shone through when you had partial veil still in place. and it did help with dissolving it. As you've heard and know within yourself from your own desires. Though we will merge at some point when you are here, we'll also un merge since we'll miss experiencing ourselves & each other as individuals. For eternity, soul also, sometimes 3, 2 or 1.>

Eternity is a thing many humans find hard or impossible to understand or feel. I think I do, though I'm not fully human. <you're human only to the physical level, though some of the human will stay, though at the soul level you are not human, unlike some who have incarnated for ages on the earth. 1 lifetime may leave an impression but not a lot of one 1 may say. and the feel you have for eternity is the soul knowledge and experience you can feel coming through. also as I mentioned before recall more of soul knowledge and memories will be easier over time, though getting all of soul embodied takes time, and you may choose not to do it since, strictly, it is not one of your personal goals. >

bye for now, though I feel we can never be truly separated. <till we speak again and in truth though we may feel separated it is impossible to really separate twin flames.>
 

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