Not sure if it is normal. I assume so. But I've noticed lately that the desire to go home as started to surface again and it does get pretty strong. Though it doesn't leave me depressed or anything. Just a sorta dual feeling. I do want to go home strongly, the urge is strong, but also I know I'm here till the incarnation ends.
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I did the healing the inner child meditation & I do feel like it did something positive. I decided to do this based on a dream I had lass night. I do feel like there may be Less fear, or no fear at all. Some areas feel looser, so to speak. Hard to describe. I was unaware of there being any fear in my sub conscious mind, but perhaps the dream showed me there was some, seemingly a great deal.
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I did the 9th meditation of you are a master compassion. It all went very well. Not sure exactly why, but, when I summoned the master as Orin says to do in the guided meditation I got 2 instead, what looked like a dolphin and other that looked like an orca. Interesting.
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I had been thinking, over say next year, I may get the 2nd light body course, and save up and occasionally get the 3rd course, which is much more expensive then the 2nd course, as a side course. Though now I'm thinking maybe I'll put that off and instead do next year will be for the 2nd course. 2017 may be for the 3rd course and 2018 may be for finishing 3 if I need and doing some of 4, hopefully finishing 4. 2019 may be finishing 4.
Though I'm thinking instead I may, once I finish 2, maybe instead will focus on getting the light body side courses that interest me and are cheaper then the 3rd course. Then once I've gotten all those that interest me, I may then go onto 3 then maybe 4, if those interest me still and if I think the price is not to bad.
I've also been thinking, starting with the 4th part of awakening the light body, instead of doing each course over say 18 days. The first pass is doing each meditation twice a day, then the 2nd pass I do 2 different meditations a day. I may instead just do the 1st pass like normal, then once I finish, I will just repeat the 1st pass as the 2nd pass, thus taking another 12 days to do the meditations again. This means I would have done the meditations 4 times before going on to the next part. And once I finish the awakening the light body and move on to other courses I may do something similar.
This will leave say about a week between the awakening the light body parts, and some future courses that have 12 mediation. I'll spend the week doing some of my favorite meditations from past courses. I should gather together my favorites and put them into a folder. Then do 2 other folders, some meditations I should do as needed, and some I want to do on a regular basis, but not a fixed schedule, not a favorite and not as needed, sorta an in-between one.
I think I may save up and buy the parts of the 3rd course now and then, saving up a bit here and a bit there. So maybe buy a part every say 4-8 months. If I did it this way, it may take a few years to get the side courses that interest me. ignoring course 3 and 4, which would take at least a year or more each, themselves. If I do it this way, I could say over 12 months get not just 12 courses, but if I save up a bit here & a bit there, I could get say around 15, roughly. Not bad.
Plus doing all those side courses after I do the 2nd course may give me an even better foundation overall and build on certain skills. Though I do still think after I do the 4-5 side courses I've picked out, I'll go straight onto the 2nd course, then do the rest of the side courses before I decide if I want do to the 3rd course then the 4th one. I just call the other light body courses side light body courses since there are 5 courses and a bunch that are not part of the numbered courses, so why not call them side light body courses.
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I am curious about the dolphin and orca beings that appeared during the last mediation. I do have some suspicions. But I'll see if they pop up again on the next one. I'm not sure who the dolphin being was, maybe some master or ascended master who maybe was a dolphin type being. The orca being, my first feel was maybe future me. Is the guide going to switch to him? hmm. Just an initial impression. not sure if I a right or wrong about this.
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I had an interesting experience. I was sitting back in my chair and had my eyes closed and was resting, not really meditating, but maybe I was doing a very light meditation without knowing it. When part of me was somewhere else. There was no surroundings, so maybe it was all in my mind or something.
The dolphin and the orca were there again. The orca did move up close to me and we were belly and chest to belly and chest, in a sort of hug type. Initially as best as one can do with flippers. I noticed I was about the same size as the orca and we were partially anthro, from the chest up it seems.
I asked who the dolphin was since I didn't feel like I knew him or his energy, not that he had a gender really. the orca said he was a master or what some may call an ascended master, a sort of friend of his who wanted to come along here. I asked, in a joking manner if he was here to make sure you don't do anything you shouldn't and the orca responded in a similarly non serious manner, <no nothing like that.> The dolphin was not of earth origin, I'm sure of that. But with so many planets I'm sure there are many many who are masters and ascended masters or whatever the term is who are of non earth origin.
I asked about the dolphin and the orca said, <you have not met him yet, you are meeting him a bit out of sequence as it were.> He said he is a sort of
he also asked how I felt about him, the orca. I said I do have sexual feelings, finding him sexy and attractive. I guessed he was acting as a sort of mirror, showing how I feel about myself to which he said basically true yes. it shows how I feel about myself and my various selves feel about me and each other. or he said something like that, not sure of the exact words.
I asked if he were my future self and he said technically he's a possible future self to me, just as I am a possible past self to him. A paradox but also not a paradox. I asked if he were going to be my new guide and he asked, <Do you want me to be?>
Before I answered the dolphin came up close to use and was in a sorta partially anthro form since he had arms and hands, and he started to rub my back with one hand and a bit later I noticed he had been rubbing the orca's back at the same time in the same way.
it had an affectionate feel to it, with some sexualness mixed in, very slight. He asked me how I felt about him, meaning the dolphin and I did use my intuition as best as I could saying I felt he was a being of light, would not intentionally do me any harm, just to help me. He said something about excellent, my intuition was developed to a good level.
he continued the rubbing and it was having a somewhat more sexual feeling and essence to it. I did get aroused, my sexual desire rising. the orca, who seemingly and feels like is my future self then started to kiss me. I could feel energy flowing between us. This went on for a few minutes. Then I broke it off since I wanted to do some stuff asking if we could pick up where we left off here and I got a yes.
I got done what I wanted to get done and lay back listening to some of the free music i got from getting the various courses from Orin and Daben. This lasted around 4 minutes before the dolphin type being said I should go and eat something then we can try again after I lay down to take a nap since I'd be in a better time then.
During the time this lasted I did feel some sort of energy work, or at the very least energy was flowing from me into the orca at the same time. I did my best to relax and surrender to the experience and just to let it happen, and I think I did fairly well, with the dolphin telling me, or reminding me to relax at times. The emotions were fairly strong as I recall, with passion and love, sexual feelings as well. the dolphin seemed to know exactly where to rub on my back to enhance the experience, perhaps he was doing some energy work also.
I'm curious what all this is about, though it has been a very pleasurable experience.
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Was going to do a guided meditation but feels like it's better to not do one and instead just relax since it feels like some energy work is being done mainly in my abdominal area. Feels like quite a bit of energy being done there and a maybe something being removed. Didn't go on to long.
Feels like it started again a bit later. at a lower level.
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after an hour or more feels like they paused. Then started up a bit again. I mentally asked my future self what he was doing. he said <energy work>.
"What sort of energy work? <manipulating some of our energy to have a certain desired effect on you.>
what sort of energy work exactly are you folks doing? <if I were to tell you you'd say ick.>
Hope you are filling the areas with light. <We'll cram in as much light as we can once we finish with certain areas and things.>
Are you going to be my new guide or one of them? <would you like me to be?> I guess you do understand me pretty well, <yes, that goes without saying. >
I guess the dolphin guy is your guide? <He is, among others. More of a friend though then a real guide. Though guides are friends really.>
I think it may be neat to have you for a guide. a future or possible future self, as long as that is who you really are and you are both of the light and some others approve like my soul, twin flame, Maribelle. <sure, those are all met. and the dolphin won't be much of a guide to you currently since though he is what some would call an ascended master he's not had any experience with anyone from the earth. So if you are ok with this, this can be a learning opportunity for him too.> seems ok with me.
So is he really a dolphin? <his soul origins is very similar to ours.>
So are you what Orin & Daben would call my divine self? <not as of yet technically, technically I am. Best to think of me as a possible future self. Far simpler that way, believe me.>
So is, uh, sharing allowed between us? <sure why not. Considering our soul origins, it would be a bit odd if we never did.>
Is it normal for guides to keep changing? <for some, like you who are going through rapid growth, and re-learning to channel and channeling higher and higher beings, yes. if you look at it you've not been re-learning to channel for vary long so some fluctuation and change is not surprising.>
I do hope it'll stabilize. Will you be temporary also? <I may, it is hard to say. Just go with the flow as you have been. Things will go much easier that way.>
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[note from 7-25] I had deleted some older channeling since I was going through a depression period and purging some stuff or whatever it was. This morning I got the idea I could copy and paste them to the end of the regular posts of the same day. Simplest way to put the older posts in.
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12:14 AM
Thought I'd try to channel my twin flame again. I'm a bit distracted so it'll be lots of type and stop.
hello <Heeelo lover. just a silly name I thought
I'd use for now. What you've been told before is true. Once we do
merge for the first time and un-merge things will never be quite the
same for us again. As great as both things will be.>
I can imagine. <greater then you can imagine. I've asked some other twin flame couples here.>
<Some of your energy will be with me, and mine
with you. Sorta the aftereffects of our channeling. though stronger.
Unless our intent is to do a split and my energy only goes with me.
Even if we do that, we'll still have the memory of having been merged as
1 being. A great experience they've said. one you can't really put
into words. Some merge more then others. Some very seldom, some do it
regularly. Not sure which type we'd be. Maybe in the middle somewhere.>
That sounds nice. What sorts of stuff will be be doing once I'm over there? <i'd
rather save that for a pleasant surprise. I'll just give a small hint
and it'll be only what you enjoy doing, but you've heard that before
from other sources. :) >
I don't feel the intensity, just a slight echo of it. You're good at screening. <yes,
I'm not there with you so that is helping. but I can't screen it all
out since we are primary twin flames so our energies and beings will
always react in the same way to each other. This way is more
manageable for us both. But just wait till we really get together. ;) >
Sounds like fun. I have enjoyed the feel of the intensity before. <you're
no the only one. ;) That is a thing all primary twin flames share.
it shows we have nothing to clear between us or work on, it's normal.>
Normal that last time I had nothing purge from being with you? <this
is a distant weak connection, but even if I were to pop there real
quick you'd not go through any purging. the course you are taking
helped with that, as well as the treatments you received on the ship and
the few the pod gave you. Not much really left, minor stuff only. The
major stuff is done, as far as I can tell.>
Did they do any of that stuff on you? <I never incarnated on earth so no.>
<Yes, I do find connecting with you distracting in a very fun pleasurable way.>
I had been thinking of her, feeling her heavily and mentally imagined
being with her for a a few or 5 seconds hugging. <not as imaginary as you think.>
<you never know, our energies reacting to each
other, and our beings, reacting to each other as they are, may help in
certain areas> may, I bet you know. <maaaybe,
not exact but i do have some strong suspicions, based on talking to
other more experienced souls and twin flame couples.>
<though seriously, as much as I'd love to be with
you popping in beside you, and I think I will at times. This is more
manageable for both of us.>
Sadly I agree, though I do hope you'll pop in sometimes here, and into some guided meditations. <I
will now and then, but this will be the main way. Less distracting for
us both. and you are pretty focused on what you are doing, though at
least you do remember ot have fun and relax and not be all work.>
Will there be special classes for us primary twin flames? ;) <of
course not silly. Just learning the special work we can do, and the
special energy work. You've experienced an example of the special
energy work, and more will happen in the future as well as fun training,
but plenty of time for that. it won't happen tonight and i do
guarantee it'll be fun when it does gradually happen. as will be
everything we do over here. together and separate. >
So is our natural form balls of bright light like small suns? <as souls yes, that is our natural form, but I prefer what you have refereed to as a dolphin type form. >
is that why when I appear on the ship or use to appear where the pod is
or other places in some guided meditations I am in an dolphin type form
or an anthro version? <that is your true form
apart from the soul ball of light. what you may call your light or
luminous body is indeed more dolphin shaped, or what humans would call a
dolphin. being a human is a temporary thing for you, like putting on a
shirt for a while.>
Meditating on you isn't to distracting for you? <no, it may have some positive effects, but don't just meditate on me. Now and then is ok.> True , many other things to do with meditation.
Luminous body? <think of it as a light body, but a bit farther along, or a higher level>
I see. Like a light body is higher or closer to soul then astral or etheric, or mental? <indeed.> I see, thanks.
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An hour or 2 after the last message. I can say the after effects are
the same, and pleasant. I can feel her energy in mine. left over from
the channeling, and it gets me to think of her more. Think like I said
before, I'll regularly do this, but not daily, maybe once a week or
twice maybe.
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