Monday [4-20]

I awoke to feeling different.  not sure how to describe it.  But I did hear soul say when I realized I felt different, <you are a new you, you have become one with your soul.> 

Not sure why I then asked the collective and not soul about that.  I got from them something like, <You have indeed become one with your soul, merging with your soul is a different ??? >  forgot the word, maybe mechanic, procedure?  one of those words or close to it. 

Then I had twin flame pop in, or maybe I asked for her opinion.  She looked like an anthro orca female.  And as usual when she was, wherever that mental place is that part of me was when I talked to the collective, I felt immediate strong feelings and instincts that ran deep to my very core.  Like instantly knowing this is my twin flame, feeling her femaleness, as apposed to my maleness.  Feeling that we would merge fully eventually, but not today.  We would merge and unmerge over eternity.  The strong desire to have soul type sex with her, but not right then.  <I see you have some doubt don't you?> She asked I started to say, "well.."  then she said, <here, let me remove that for you.>  she said then we started to passionately cares fondle me and I started doing the same with her, not even realizing it fully consciously, it just felt totally normal.  She did pause for a moment and commented that I had a grain of doubt left and continued.  Eventually we stopped and it did feel like I had all my doubt removed, just maybe uncertainty.  <it is a different mechanism and experience merging.  You have indeed become one with our soul, but you've not merged with it yet.>  "and have you become one with it?  <yes> 

I embraced her, "Though I do wish we could spend more time together, I'll let you get back to what you were doing.  Thanks.  though I do feel I look forward to merging with you, I don't want to do it to soon.  and I do look forward to merging and unmerging since I feel I'd like to experience both and not just one."   She caressed my chest with one hand, <and I feel exactly the same way about you and agree, you should experience being an individual here for a while.>  Then she smiled, <and we do have all of eternity to merge and unmerge.  Being at times 3, sometimes 2, and sometimes 1.> She said then went back to wherever she was doing whatever she had been doing.  So an unusual morning for me overall.  Pleasant though.

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Had a very brief conversation with Twin flame as i lay down to take a nap.  I briefly mediated on the intense feelings I feel for twin whenever she pops up.  and that I do enjoy the feelings and their intensity. 

<I sometimes meditate on the intensity of our relationship, the energy soul level of it.  That is what is causing it. >

 It's a bit difficult to explain in English.  I'm not sure if she shared with me or I just know myself but when she mentioned that and looking back, I do understand why there are those intense feelings, but it is hard to put into English why or explain exactly what they are or the mechanics behind them.   

So do you enjoy the feel and the intensity?  <yes, I sure do I enjoy all of it, like you do.> 

Will be able to do any work together once I'm with you after this incarnation?  <yes, we just have to have the intent. Though we will be taking a lot of breaks just to spend time together, and for other reasons too.> here she gave me a knowing smile.  And I think she was in an female anthro orca type appearance.  <besides, there are some things that only primary twin flames can do.  certain actions, activities.  Certain types of energy work only we can do as primary twin flames.>  Ooh, interesting, can you teach me some of that stuff?  <when you are here sure, if you don't remember it, though perhaps before that, during this incarnation perhaps, though you may recall that during this incarnation.> 

Could we create souls, just the 2 of us and wouldn't they be twin flames to us since they would have only our energy?  <It depends on our intent.  at the very least they would be secondary twin flames to the both of us, or primary.  Depending on our intent. and perhaps theirs too.>  You mean if they exist like both of our former shadow aspects?  <indeed.  The 2 of them could be primary twin flames, thus we'd be 4, or they could be secondary twin flames to the 2 of us, and primary with only each other.> 

Do we have anything between us that I should be working on?  <no, there is nothing between us that needs any work or resolution.  Apart from us having to wait till your incarnation is over to be fully together.  Though we can still communicate, spend time together, have fun and fool around.> she said smiling.  the fun and fool around I know she meant in also sexual ways. Also looking back at this as I type it I never realized but we were touching, each other with our hands, caressing each other, touching bodies at times.  Not in a sexual way, but affection, togetherness, non sexual intimacy, that all promised future sex as an undercurrent thing.  I didn't mention it before since it was all so natural to be doing it that I never noticed till I was looking back.  I do still say yes, I thoroughly enjoy our relationship, the intensity of it.  Though she's not here with me now, I can feel her inside me, so to speak, hard to say, and after all she is just a thought away.  And I think I'd know if she was very busy focusing on something so I'd know not to bother her.  We don't Need to be together, like some couples I've seen or heard of.  We are fully content as we are.  hard to explain. 

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I did the 8th guided meditation of part 3 as part of the 2nd pass (it is the one about interdimensional travel) and twin flame as present for part of the guided meditation.  She mentioned to look at this as a fun type lesson in my being able to focus on doing something even with her present.  I did ok I think, though she did have to remind me to focus if my attention did start to wonder.  Either to the usual way the mind wonders, or if I started to think of her.  Before she left I did get to where I could pretty much focus my attention back and I didn't really miss anything, or if I did it was 1 tiny section.  I didn't feel the intense feelings I usually feel when I'm with twin flame or she is with me. She said it is due to our focused intent was not on us being together and the fun that could lead to.  Though at some spots where Orin or Daben paused she did kiss me once or twice, a quick one and a quick caress we both shared with her saying that when we are together doing something we do take frequent breaks.  I asked if it was ok for us to do that during a project or us doing something and she said source like it when we do stuff like this, so with it's ok we don't need anyone else's.  She did leave after a while and I noticed there was an immediate change.  I could focus far more easily and We were both in orca forms that were normal from the abdominal area down and anthro from the chest up.  and again only now as I type this and remember, remember we were touching and caressing, not constantly but a lot.

Toward the end were I'm supposed to give the universal gridwork beings something in return, the master in this case and he wanted love, to send love into the universal gridwork I asked if she could come back and she did saying something like let this be a taste of some energy work type that only we as primary twin flames can do.  I was able to hold onto the focus of me being connected to the universal grid and sending the love light energy stuff, or whatever it was we, or at least I, was emitting while we kissed and caressed. 

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I did the 9th guided meditation in part 3, about exploring frequencies and Running the energies went very well.  The rest of the meditation went ok at best.  The main reason was part of this to experience the difference frequencies of the energies of the different light body centers.  And the energy of the first 3 feel exactly the same, those for the 4 through 7th feel different, but the same to each other, and I can barely feel them at all.  I assume either I'll get better at feeling how the different frequencies are for the first 3 are different over time, or I won't.  I accept either and don't really mind if I never can tell the difference.  I do hope I get better at feeling the upper 4-7 then the current being able to just barely feel them. 

maybe things are just to dense here and or to much of my abilities are blocked here. Another thing I dislike about incarnating.  All the blocks, though I do seem to know some places have much fewer blocks then here, due to the characteristics of the area? projection?  something, not sure of the right word or maybe not accessing all of my soul knowledge quite yet. 

I'm past being interested in incarnating.  I do feel the appeal of incarnating, but really it all feels like a big bother to me.  I feel like I've moved on past that.

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i asked soul if he'd try to get me to incarnate after this.  At first he was joking then turned serious after a bit when i guess he felt I was indeed being serious.  He said he would not, trick, force, or talk me into it, even if I am merged with him.  He promised. saying it was wrong what he did.  i guess he's referring to original soul. 

He said something I was not expecting, talking about he would not separate us, meaning me and twin flame.  I mentioned we're not fully separated since I can talk to her and he said we are partially separated and he can feel it.  He said I'm not quite sensitive enough to feel it.  

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[note from 7-25]  I had deleted some older channeling since I was going through a depression period and purging some stuff or whatever it was.  This morning I got the idea I could copy and paste them to the end of the regular posts of the same day.  Simplest way to put the older posts in.

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 12:25 AM

Decided to do a short channel to see what I'd get.

So what did my soul mean when it said it was the next step and by surrendering and thereby giving my power to him I had reclaimed some more of my own power mean? <The lesson was could you be your true self, the soul, instead of just the human or a mix of part human and part soul. Being part human and part soul is a great achievement, but being your true soul self is even better since you are your true self. By doing what you did you took a step closer to being your true self and will see the benefits over the next few hours and days. keep doing this. you are doing great and surpassing indeed the expectations of certain ones.>

Will I need or have to incarnate after this? <No indeed. the choice will be yours and your soul's alone. you can remain here among us if you wish and many do. Some souls do love incarnating. Some one 1 world or others on various worlds as their interest takes them, or for other reasons. Some like your former soul enjoys doing this for specific missions for the group who does help other worlds. You'll have many options indeed open to you on this side. And you can even do more then 1 thing at once, being a mufti-dimensional being. As time progresses you'll begin to really understand what this means.

And as you were wondering earlier yes you have been what you term a solar engineer and planetary engineer, or something close to what you were imagining. There are some who do similar things to this. A noble among many noble professions, but that can be said about any of them. Though you were not, obviously, human. you've been many races. The Sirius races numbers among the earliest you've been, and among your favorites, since some are very similar to the soul family called the pod, as they call themselves and some of us do so. >

What are some options that'll be open to me once I'm over there? <remaining among us here and never incarnating is one. You can do something similar to what you are doing, but on the other side, if you wish to pursue that. others would be to teach others what humans are like, what you call dolphins and such, since you have been a human. That is perhaps a more future thing, preparing some to understand humans, as time progresses. many creative pursuits, music, art, beyond what you can imagine. Though you can imagine some of them. You could become a being who gets channeled. The possibilities, even taking into account what you'd like are endless. Though we do have an eternity so plenty of time.>

I've heard some say when the incarnation is over it's like waking from a dream and it won't be recalled to much. <similar to what does happen. You'll remember this live. An idea is look back over your live and how much do you really recall. Though as a soul you could dig the slightest bit and recall it all. or you could visit certain places to relive the whole life in a few seconds if you wish. Or do it yourself. You'll quickly become your true self. We'll all be here to help you to recover and recall your true self, us, your soul family, friends, and others.>

What about this is a hologram? <a bit over simplification, but in certain things true. Could be said about many things. The earth and that universe is a projection of energy, very dense and vibrationally created and some elements, lowered to where it currently is. Though things do progress over time and move to higher dimensions, to use English terms. The exact process is complicated and you have looked into it, or your former soul has, to understand the process.

A part of the soul injects itself into the projection, though the projection is real in and of itself, it is not fake, like a hologram one of your companies makes. Though one could say that a movie, is a reality of itself. That is another area.

These projections are done for a variety of reasons, often to give some souls places and time to explore, learn more of themselves, experience new things, and other reasons. The reality is in an of itself real. Though a different vibrational plane to where we are. Though we can adjust our resonance to bring ourselves closer to you like you can raise yours a bit to get closer to use so we can meet somewhere half way, though not exactly half way. the rough analogy does fit. When the incarnation ends the part of you there will be fully free and the blocks and veil, if you do even have a veil or any blocks, will instantly fall way. Though some things will still remain even if you do have all the veil gone, which is very probable in your case. We can say a certainty, but you can choose to change your mind. And at least some blocks will fall way, some have already started to, like the veil has. You would not be able to pop around at will, like we can,due to the characteristics of the realm where you currently inhabit. and the time remaining to you may seem long since you do have to experience time in a linear fashion, whereas we here on this side do not.>

I guess that is enough for now. <indeed, don't want to do do much, though this does seem much smoother and easier on your various energy systems and bodies, us working as a collective instead of individual. and other benefits as well as we have mentioned. continue up the good work and do schedule yourself some fun and time to relax. you don't need to work as long or as hard as you think you do. You'd be surprised how close you are. Bye for now.>

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7:01 PM 

How do I access consciously my soul knowledge & memories and is there anything else I need to do in the time I have left to go farther along the path I'm on? A bit later on I asked about how I could be a better more clear channel and get stuff from the collective more clear and better. Not sure where I asked for this so I'll just leave all the messages in place as is. The audio I listened to was more about clearing and letting go of various things that prevent you from being a clear channel.


You have achieved much in the time of your live up till now. relax, you do not need to work as hard as you think you do. the courses you have picked out will help. Believe in yourself, that is part of the key that you need to d do. as well as perseverance, and continuing along the path you have chosen to be on.

things are clearer then you think. Believe in your self, continue, perseverance, these are the key.

Believe in yourself and perseverance. as well as relaxing.

Release as well, what is within you that is not clear and of your true self.