Was thinking and I I may like being like this, once this incarnation is
over. Me and soul unmerged, for a while at least, but me not going
separate. We can certainly enjoy being together, in more ways then one.
Also we could do 2 things at once. Though I guess like a twin flame
the desire for us to merge would always be there and it would grow at
times till it is very strong and we do merge. Though I guess we'd
unmerge at a later point. I also find it interesting that soul did say
if we did this we'd not be the first.
Also had another encounter with soul this morning. I imagined that we
kissed for a bit then he did some oral sex on me. can't be sure it
happened or not, but I didn't feel a full intensity. Though for a bit I
couldn't tell which I was nor remember which had started what. I do
recall after soul saying something like soul does like to be intimate
with itself. So maybe it didn't really happen but was a shared
imagination, shared fantasy thing.
I do get the main goal wasn't just
to have fun and share pleasure, intimacy, affection, but for me to get
to the point where I experienced not being able to remember which had
started it and which one I was, the incarnate or the non incarnate part
of the being.
A bit later before I got out of bed I experienced us both being unicorn
stallions and our horns touching and us sharing love, affection, peace,
sort of feelings, with maybe a few more I don't recall.
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I can feel, I guess as a result of what we've been doing, the kissing, caressing, that we are one being, but experiencing itself as 2 beings. i guess since the human body can't contain all of the soul. Though it does feel like this single being found it enjoys being sorta 2. we are still one but enjoy experiencing being sorta 2 beings. one plus is we can be intimate, share intimacy, including non sexual intimacy, with ourselves. Similar to us being twin flames, but not twin flames.
I do feel the urge to merge with him, like I do feel it with twin flame, though the urge to merge with twin flame is more deeply sleep, for now. So I think at some point after this incarnation is over, we'd experience being unmerged, but at some point we will merge. Then after a while I'd be thinking I am starting to miss having a 2nd me around so I'd manifest another me, unmerge, or whatever the term is,can't think of the right term. I think like with twin flame we'd do this, being 1 for a while, then being 2 for a while, since we would like having and experiencing both.
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I lay down to take a nap. Did get some sleep, but the beginning and end
of it I was awake. Soul was talking to me and it felt like more
procedures were being done to me. At one point I though I heard either
soul or someone saying to someone else something like "remove the
leeches." something like that anyway.
the procedures mainly seemed to be a tentacle type thing being inserted
in the back of my neck and shortly after a feeling like metal scraping
on bone. Something being s******* from the channel the kundalni travels
down. Something being inserted into my navel, another tentacle type
thing. He said it was to refill the device with light they had put into
me, and to do some other work. He said the device is keyed to release
light from the inside of me at certain intervals, a timed release. The
other stuff felt like mainly somethings being removed or things jabbed
into me at certain points maybe. I was in my bed this whole time, not
pulled onto the ship like I had been before.
I felt like something was put onto my head and soul said something like I
needed to be unconscious for the next part of the procedure. I felt a
tingling type sensation around my head. I didn't go unconscious for a
short time. He again reminded me to get the rest of the awakening the
light body course. continue the opening to channel course. after the
awakening the light body course getting the 2nd course then the 3rd
would be excellent, if I could afford that. Before I get any of the
side courses. I did ask about the sequel to opening to channel and the
celebration in initiation which is 3 audio courses about the heart,
throat and crown centers. he said those would be excellent to get
either before or during the time I'm getting the 2nd course.
Forgot when but I asked who's doing these procedures to me and he said
the arcturans, or was it said arcturians, something like that, with the
sirians assisting and doing certain things themselves.
I then awoke and it felt like a few more procedures were done. 1 was
something attached to my navel area and some fluid pumped into it till
it felt like my abdominal area had swollen up pretty large. The other
was something large inserted into the end of my spine then run all the
way up the channel where kundalini travels up, then with drawn. Then
some sort of very warm sensation at the end of the spine area. The
channel feels maybe around 5 inches, and the same width all the way.
I do wonder if he is my soul or higher self, not that it really matters,
just my curiosity. I know he is me since it feels totally like me. as
i've described in previous posts.
-----------------------------
I did the opening to channel course. the 9th audio. It went very well.
I met the first 2 guides. There were others but they were indistinct.
He said I would be working with them later, for now he and what I call
my soul/higher self would be my primary guides. That may change in the
future. The others are more, think of them as specialists.
My higher self/soul went into me, it felt like a dimly pleasurable
sensation. He, the guide, said it was to help maintain my connection
here. he said he was of above 5th d and certainly of the light (this is
in response to some questions that orin asks during the meditation).
He also said he had been mainly an acrturian during most of his
incarnations. i say he though he didn't really feel male. More
genderless with maybe a slight male feel. Maybe since I'm in a male
body may be the reason. I do have a slight sorta headache. But that is
due to orin saying in the guided mediation to ask your guide to
strengthen the connection, or something, forgot orin's exact wording.
The arcturian guide did do something that felt like energy somethings
with the top of my head. There were brief moments of slight pain that
he said was an unfortunate side effect and towards the end he said I may
experience some temporary side effects. The sorta headache feels sorta
like the top part of my head contains to much energy or something, hard
to explain. It did feel like his energy was warm, also more
concentrated then mine. hard to explain. As I said he said he and what
I consider to be my soul/higher self are to be our primary or at least
initial primary guides. he said he had connected before. he was the
one that had gotten through the arcturian bits I had said before,
arcturian, arcturian council, bit, and that Lavensure is a very rough
English of one of his past names. not really. it is very rough but
refining may be done later to get it better. As well as he saying he
and what I regard as my soul/higher self would refine and tune the
connection, readjust it in the future. I guess as we connect, me to 1
or both of them, as orin, daben, Sanaya and Duane say it'll continue to
grow stronger over time as I reconnect. Also the various light body
courses, by doing them may help also, or so i read in some of the
reviews on the website.
--------------------------------------
I was going to post in a few threads on this forum outside the
yourspace, but decided not to. My experiences seem to far out there or
strange compared to the vast majority who post on this forum. I don't
find them far out there or bizarre. I find them totally normal. But
that is, I think, cause I'm not an earth soul. And the vast majority on
this forum are earth souls.
One place I was going to post to was I think the starseeds thread. One
person there said that I think she said her guides, forgot who she said,
but she's supposed to have fun here and her guides say she's taking it
to seriously she's supped to have fun here. To me this place feels like
a workplace. Sure I can have some fun here, but I'm here primarily to
do work, not to have fun. The fun will come after this incarnation is
over. Though as I said before it feels like someone, not sure who,
maybe gaia, the unicorn great mother, someone else, not sure who, likes
having me around and doesn't want me to leave right when this
incarnation is over, but to perhaps incarnate again, or at the very
least stick around on the other side. Though whoever it or they are
they'll have to offer some huge incentives for me to stay & likely
some demands of my own as well, even staying just on the other side as a
non incarnate. to get me to incarnate again it would have to be HUGE
HUGE incentives since I don't want to be here. I want to get my job
done, once the incarnation is over go home, be introduced to the homes
and places, unless I'll get my full memory back.
---------------------------------
I did the 3rd mediation again, it went pretty well. Not a lot to tell. I
didn't feel the Leow to well. That one seems the most difficult one to
feel, often feeling nothing. Not sure if that means i need extra work,
or I'm just not sensitive enough to feel that. The rest went well. I
did feel a floating sensation and the energy around me. The first time I
think i felt, or the 2nd, of the Ranthia generating some energy. This
energy felt like it went through 1 or more energy bodies into the area
around me. maybe the same energy body or aura. Think I'll try to run the energies later today or tonight on my own.
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Think I'll try to do the healing every day. I figure it can't hurt. Only to the areas that seem to need work and then the whole body. Maybe a few times a day if I can do it all fairly fast, in a few minutes or so each. Maybe add it as a type of meditation.
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