Had some dreams last night. Instead of recounting them I think what I'll do instead is say what I think the general theme was. I think and feel the general theme was I have a dislike of being incarnated here, wish to go home, and this is my final and last incarnation.
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I thought about it and while I do miss the mates, lovers, and such I did have, I can understand all of them moving on and wanting nothing to do with me anymore, same with Bruce, who was a dragon who had had intense interest in courting me and wanted to wait till my incarnation ended, since I am a herm at a soul level, which I am comfortable with being a herm at the soul level.
I can understand them having no interest in me anymore since I am incarnated here and its not like I can be with them since I am incarnated here. I could be but there is some reason they won't pull me out, maybe some rule or they find it annoying to do that, and there are who knows how many souls not incarnated, or at least not incarnated here, so they have moved on from me, and gone to the souls not incarnated, which I do understand, waiting for me to return home is likely a long wait. they waited this long and I've no idea how long it'll be till I can return home & I can understand them loosing all interest in me and moving on to other lovers and finding mates with other souls not incarnated. That is their choice and I understand and accept it. No hard feelings on my part towards any of them.
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As for humans, I'm overall neutral towards them I think and feel. I'm
here to help the planet with the shift it's going through, any humans
who want to hop on and go through the shift, that is fine, if they don't
wish to, that is fine also. If they wish to remain negative and
unaware, that is their choice.
Though from what Ive heard about the fae and an online friend and
unicorn sister of mine, I do have a dislike of fae I feel. Once this
incarnation is over I doubt I"ll ever have anything to do with fae, and
unlikely I'll have much to do with humans, maybe with some individual
exceptions.
I did ask my oversoul 12d self about this and he said its fine. You can
be 12d, and at a soul level say feel some love towards say earth humans
and fae, and want nothing to do with fae, and feel largely neutral
towards humans. Being 12d doesn't mean you have to like everyone and be
all smiles all the time.
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had an interesting experience while I was laying down to take a nap. My 12d oversoul self came to me and basically said if I wanted and allowed it he could become my present day self. Which I felt this would change his past, and I would be able to grow through the 9d and higher levels much faster. Not sure if I'd be poof 12d, but that is possible. I said ok.
The experience of his energy, or part of it anyway, was very pleasurable and very sexual. I did feel heat in certain parts of my body as his energy came into my energy and became one with mine. Now after my nap I feel the same as before. it may be a case where there are changes I'm not aware of consciously, or not consciously aware of as of yet. In any case it felt right and was very pleasurable, very much a sensual pleasurable sexual experience and feeling. I am curious what the effects are, short and long term.
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I did the 5th meditation of part 5 and running the energies was a sensual pleasure. The main part of the meditation was about feeling the change in intensity of the fullonia when Daben did the vocalizations. I didn't feel any real intensity till the last time he did vocalization.
Instead twice I saw if I could increase the size of my fullonia cocoon, area my fullonia light/energy shined or whatever to cover the entire earth. I did it twice and while it was a bit tiring, it wasn't very tiring.
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I did the 6th meditation of part 5 of awaken the light body. Running the energies was a sensual pleasure like usual. The mai part of the meditation was to think of someone you enjoy being with. Since I'm a virtual hermit I choose my 12D self. The meditation was partially on the fullonia and partially on understanding how you feel when you are with this person you choose. I think Daben meant on how your energy feels. I think its meant to be a lesson on what I think he and Orin call emotional or mental fluidity, or some other term, forgot what it is. But basically it is you can choose to feel how you want to feel. feeling depressed or sad, you can switch that to being happy. I've done it and for me it works. So a great meditation I would say.
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Also came to a realization while doing this, maybe a true one or maybe a false one. There is not really full free will here since if there were full free will here then if you are incarnated here you can just lay down and go back home, but you can't. Also females here have no choice if hey get pregnant or lay eggs or the eggs get fertilized or not (if they are mammals or egg layers), so further proof there is no such thing as full free will here. I would assume that whatever committee that passed the laws that earth is under, the karma and other sets of rules, since not all of them are karmic in nature, some are unrelated. Likely when one's incarnation ends is up to the same committee since you can't just choose to return home if you want. and so many things are blocked here that i know how to do back home.
Not really nice and seeing how messed up the earth is, man, what a messed up committee. i do hope they have been fired, they should be if they have not been.
So like I can't return home till whoever the committee has approved my exit points, which I'd assume discuss it and pass rules and decisions before the incarnation starts. So those of us who don't want ot be here have no choice in these things, if you're a woman, if you get pregnant or not with unprotected sex, no choice there. Though i do wonder if there is any choice in the places away from the earth. Same with staying here till some committee exit date is reached.
maybe best to raise up to past 12d. I've not thought of it but that gives me more reasons to want to be 12d as fast as I can. As well as that would be fun to reach 12d, & my understanding, knowledge, and such would increase, there are not other reasons too. Though I'd not want to stop at 12d, I say lets to past 12d, see that is beyond it.
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I did the 7th meditation that was part 5 of awaken the light body and running the energies was a sensual pleasure like usual. i don't see the point of the main part of the mediation. I didn't notice any waving. So I used the main part of the meditation to help clear myself and I'm feeling immensely better. not sure if it was issues that came to the surface, or stuff I picked up from others, but I cleared it out of myself and transmuted some of it to positive energy, and I feel immensely better.
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I did the 8th meditation that was part 5 of awaken the light body and running the energies was a sensual pleasure like usual. the main part of this guided meditation was on soul linking. Orin had us pick a soul to work with and since I have no friends and am a hermit I picked my 14D self, since, well why not. I had no one else to practice on and my 12D self may have been busy. This meditation I'd say didn't go to well since orin kept wanting me to do stuff I had no idea how to do and I am not a super duper healer by training and some things do not work here. I did what I could, ignoring much of what Orin was Blathering about since he/she likely has no idea that some things do not work and some things I can't do since I'm not THAT sensitive and do not have the super duper training of a healer. My 14D self used the opportunity to clear some of my energy and teach me some stuff, like today I had picked up some stuff from other people, as I suspected. I cleared that, transmuted some of it to a higher resonance, positive of course. Left me with a slight headache.
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