Had an odd dream. I went to an rpg at the place I go to on Thursday, but this was a meeting at night. I missed the last bus and no one there had interest in giving me a ride home so I started walking home.
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My switching to left handed for my writing and some stuff is still on going. It is getting slightly easier, but I guess it just takes time. I wonder what the long term effects will be, if any.
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I had a pleasurable session where I accepted more of my reptilian energy, nature, essence or whatever the term is. feels like at this stage I should focus on accepting my reptilian essence, or whatever, my male reptilian essence, nature, self, or whatever the term is. I talked to him a bit during this experience and at this time I should focus on incorporating him, since he symbolizes my male reptilian self, essence, nature, or whatever the term is. he went into a bit more erotic talk. The feel I get is later on I may do this with Alura, since she or someone, may represent the female reptilian essence, nature, ect. More of my true self. I guess eventually I'll do this with my cetacean nature, maybe in my former twin flame being the female cetacean and someone else may be the male.
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Feels like this, in part, is them wanting to help me to become my true whole self, but also I feel something else. maybe introduce me to being a multi dimensional being in another way, having me either realize I'm also a monad, soul, oversoul or something, or help me to grow into being one of my own. Hard to explain what I mean.
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Just had a mental type experience of the male reptilian me, essence, or whatever you call it. I just had a mental experience, a brief one, of him caressing my chest with his webbed reptilian clawed hands as he whispered in my ear, He said, "yes, helping you to grow into your own independent oversoul or monad, this is a much more pleasurable way of doing it." Then later on he added in, "Yes, accept more of your true self. grow, accept, expand into your true self, your whole true self. Reptilian, cetacean, unicorn. None of earth origin. Accept, incorporate, grow, evolve expand." All said in a sensual tone of voice. A nice experience. I do feel different. more clear, more expanded a bit, hard to explain.
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I did the 11th meditation that of part 2. I'll be finishing this soon and tomorrow I'll be starting on part 3. The whole meditation went very well. This one was about forgiveness. I went through the first few with Orin, picking an extra few people. Then I did the intent of forgiving everyone everywhere through time and space, adding in the stuff Orin said. Through all this i did feel much lighter, more light as well as being lighter in weight, hard to explain. I also did the last part where I talked to my cells and dna, and I did feel them respond. So all in all I felt this meditation went great.
Early in the meditation I felt my male reptilian part of me sort of step into me, hard to explain, and I sent the intention that I accepted him. I felt his energy fully enter me and a sort of ripple that went through my bodies, energy and physical and it felt like he and I had fully become one.
Afterwards I talked briefly with my former twin flame, I decided to call her Kor, since that is an online name I've used before at a few places.
She said she's like a counterpart to me, being female to sorta balance things since I'm in a male body and am male leaning. She said to see me as a sort of counter part since we are the same being. We mingled our energies, flowing them together, in an erotic way with her giving me erotic images and words. I think the next step is her and I merging. She said she'd be part of me so not like I was loosing her. We could manifest her once this incarnation of mine is over. I feel it's the same with the reptilian aspect me, that merged with me, or merged as much as he could if he didn't fully merge.
It does seem indeed they are attempting for me to become my true whole self, perhaps an independent oversoul or monad, or soul. Full whole and independent.
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I think the way it may work is for my male reptilian nature I may manifest him, say back home, but his energy would still be part of me, he wouldn't split off from me. Same with Kor. if we do fully merge then i could manifest her, or her herself, but her energy would still be 1 with me, not like she split off. Though she, or my reptilian self/nature/essence, could have bodies, they would be 1 with me. Perhaps that is part of how being multi dimensional works.
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I did the 12th and last meditation that was of part 2. With this I finish this part and am moving onto part 3 tomorrow. I'll prepare things tonight.
I ran the energies and it went fantastic. The main meditation, going to the temple of the masters, also went fantastic.
A bunch of things happened. I realized that Kor and I area already 1, we are 1 being, 1 soul, with 2 bodies, so we are already one being. Just that all my energy is not here, yet, but that'll change. Nagi partially merged with Kor, but is unsure if she wishes to remain with the original monad,soul,oversoul, or go with me. Since I'm being nudged to become my own separate soul/monad/oversoul, whatever the term is.
My service to others is not just channeling the energy here and my energy to effect others and channel energy into the earthgrid, but also to become my true full self and embody as much of the true full me as I can in this body, this incarnation.
The way multi-dimensionality works is 1 soul being can have a number of bodies, but they could also be individuals too, hard to explain what I mean, being 1 being, separate bodies, but also the separate bodies of the 1 being, could be individuals, but still part of the whole, and I'd be aware what they others are doing since I'd be, so to speak, the central one. But the others, say Kor, Chad, I think would be aware of what the others are doing too. So though Kor is already me and we are one, she can have her own body and be herself too. Maybe sounds conflicting, but I can't explain really what I mean by all this, but it makes sense to me. I just use her for Kor out of habit, though saying hir makes better sense. The male reptilian me is already merged and fully me, like I think the female merged with me and Kor so we are all 1 being. I've grown into a new stage I think.
I think I'll think on this and perhaps type more on it in a few hours when I've done other stuff and had time to think it over. or new realizations come to me.
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