Saturday, March 14, 2015

Saturday [3-14]

Maribelle ? Mirabelle - not sure which spelling i'll go with, Maribelle, or Mirabelle.  She said to me that he had lied.  Hmm, some though must be done.   she did say he's not her leader but I get a mix when I asked a few times if he is the leader of the unicorns of this universe.  I seem to get both yes/no.  which it can't be both.  now she is saying he is her leader.  I still can't trust her since all the <censored> inconsistency.  I'll try to mediate on it later and see if I can get anything.   The consistent thing is that he did lie about what he said she said.

Mr H. not sure about him.  mediating on him.  Something is not quite right feeling.  he did say he caused the shift which, if there is a shift, I feel it is a gradual thing caused by the majority of human earth souls being at a certain development point. Not something that can be caused by any 1 person.  Maybe he as a bit of some kind of insanity, not a psychologist or whatever the soul version is. 

As for Qi Gong I'll not try to learn more movements, seeing how things go with the ones I know.  Build up to doing say 15 minutes 6 days a week. then up it til I'm doing maybe 30 minutes 6 days a week.

As for eating meat I"ll stick with my earlier idea. 

As for the Awakening the Light Body Course part 2 of 6. If I do get that I'll wait till April.  I'll spend at least 2 weeks going over the first course again.

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As for being here I can say i still have a very strong dislike for being here, not sure if is up to hatred, but if not it is not to far off.  if I was in fact re-created, that has changed.  that feeling is constant.  It use to flow back and forth and went away once I got close to meeting the one who claimed is my twin flame and I'm still wary and not sure if i can trust any non corporal being.  I can say my extreme dislike for being here is constant and independent of if I can trust non corporals or not, like those who claimed to be my guides, twin flame, and the others i had been talking to.  I'm still unsure if I can trust anything or anyone. 

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 Having no idea what to do as far as mystic and spiritual to do, since it seems I have lost my ability to communicate.  I thought I might since I lost my capacity to project a bit after the chips were removed.  and the lied about my not needing the chips anymore, ha.

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I did a short meditation to ask my various aspects, whether I know them or not, most were indistinct, in fact all of them were indistinct, which is ok.  They did all agree, some with a bit of talking, to not to lie to each other, we work together as a team, no nightmares, no trickery, ect against each other.  We work together as a team. the 2 that seemed reluctant had reasons, which I agreed with.  1 of the reluctant ones said he was outta here as fast as he could be once he found a home, but he would help us, not lie, or do any tricks.  The other one said he would lie and steal to get what he wanted and to help us, but he would not do any of that stuff to the rest of us.  So in the end all of the aspects and me, i guess I could say all of me that I could perceive, did agree are to help each other, work together as a team, no lieing, nightmares, tricks, ect against each other, since we have to work together as a team and as equals.

So it seems i have that at least.  Not sure what it means or any advantages it offers.  Since they don't have any idea what to do any more then I have it seems.

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I had maybe an unusual experience. A bit bashful to put it here but I will anyway.

I was laying down and trying to get more relaxed.  When a white unicorn appeared, I assumed it was Mirabelle.  I seemed to be in a unicorn form, but could not feel my horn.  It felt like perhaps it was and she seemed to be.  she was facing me then suddenly I was behind her or she teleported around or something and I got the idea mount her.  I decided to go along with the idea, no idea where it came from or why.  Though I could not feel any pleasure I did feel like my kundalini was surging, flowing faster or harder or something.  And I could feel a tighness in front of me as I could feel myself thrusting back and  forth.  Hard to explain.  I felt no sensations of pleasure or anything, but the kundalini flowing faster or harder and the tightness in front of me like part of my body i could not feel was in something tight and it was clamping down at times, more in certain spots.  This went on for maybe a few minutes, then I dismounted.  not sure why.  We nuzzled and such a bit, I asked and she didn't mind if I used either Mirabelle or Maribelle, either is fine.  I asked and she said we are still mates and it felt like she said yes, but something said no at the same time.

Then I got another idea.  i walked around to her rear, somehow a part of me knew how to walk in 4 feet.  Felt like I could shift my form if I wanted.  once I was at her rear I slipped my tongue inside her.  I felt the tightness, moreso as I stretched my tongue out very long.  Felt not just the tighness but like certain spots it was a tighter clamping.  Then I thrust only slightly with the intent of my tongue vibrating.  I think i felt the tightness grow stronger and the clamping moreso.  this went on very briefly then it felt like the connection was fading or something.  Mirabelle said something about loosing the connection.  Didn't hear her to well. 

Not sure exactly what happened.  But for after effects it feels like I am ? happier, calmer, more content?  Something like that.  But also I feel a strong inner urge to have sex with Mirabelle.

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Was talking to Lynn a bit. Seems I'm going through some sort of change thingie. I read her pm a few times, only understand some of it. In chat she mentioned something about I'm getting a download, no idea what she means by that.

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