Saturday, March 28, 2015

Saturday [3-28]

Meditated a bit this morning, light meditative at most. no idea if any of this is true, all untrue, partially true, or distorted.

The method I was created by was a piece of soul in the body was left, most of me was cut off, and former soul separated that part of itself, twin flame and me were recombined the stuff added were added some memories were downloaded/inserted and when after separation we were given the individual memories we had before so we would be basically the same person as before. With changes.

The changes were that the unicorn part was added since former me and Mirabelle were lovers so they thought why not add in unicorn so we could perhaps be mates or something if we choose. I think maybe Gaia, or a part of her had been brought in since it may slightly affect her or maybe she was brought in later. I'm unsure of this.

A unicorn elder was brought in since I'd be created but not born/conceived as a unicorn as most all other unicorns are created, more in a fashion of beings here are created, though not exactly the same since they are not from a density like earth is, more like the way souls are created.

maybe unicorn elder gaia and dragoness who is one of current soul's parents talked and got another idea, another option to add onto my 3 options. The 3 would be still in effect, but there would be a 4th option. There is a reason the dragoness added in the dragon bit, not sure if it is western or eastern. Source oked this stuff adding if the 2, me and Mirabelle did want to be mates the would be, but the choice was up to them and any 4th option could only be offered after the 3 were given to me and I made a choice. Only after that could the 4th option be given. They, the 3, maybe, unicorn elder, dragoness, gaia, maybe had another plan in mind or an ulterior motive with me getting the dragon part, and the elder oking the unicorn part being given.

Not sure about any of this, as I said before since this is just what I have gotten or think I have gotten.

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Was watching a video on youtube. mentioning about ego death. That doesn't seem right. What feels right is expanding ego so it encompasses more then oneself, but maybe encompasses everything, or at least more the oneself ?

expand ego so it encompasses more then just oneself, don't try to kill ego, expand it. For me at least that may be the more correct thing to do.

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Had interesting experiences on the way home. I was waiting for the bus and was thinking how everyone was sparks or sparks of sparks from source and if one could trace that back, and it seemed for an instant I was source with everything being sparks of me, or sparks of sparks, ect, of me. then a few seconds later I tried again to see if I could find out which is correct if Dolores was were we'd have to return to source to give source our experiences or if source was getting our experiences as we were so didn't need that and for an instant I think I felt that all of the experiences from all the sparks and sparks of sparks were coming into me as they had the experiences. If what I had was true then source is getting our experiences as we experiences then, which makes sense to me, if we are all parts of source so to speak.


on the first bus home I was thinking about my soul origins and if it could be true and for a few seconds I went sorta blind where all I could see was all white, like a bright white light or something, and I heard mentally a female voice that said either, <you have some of my energy> or <you have a part of my energy.>

Not sure what to make of these experiences.

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I continued to lay down after my nap. Got a bit more maybe about my origin, if any of it is accurate. The 3, ? gaia or some other female? dragoness and a female unicorn elder asked for a pause at some sort of meeting that took place before the meeting I was at that I mentioned in a post ages ago. They talked among themselves and got some ideas, including a 4th option. ? source was ok with their ideas but said the original 3 choices were the ones that had to be offered since they were part of the original still binding contract, only after one of these were chosen could this new one be offered and as in all cased (meaning me) had to be given ample time to think over the first 3 choices and if I wanted ask the opinion of others. Once I made the choice then this new choice could be given, with everything it would mean laid plain, including ? incentives? added into the package deal and again I had to be given plenty of time to think it over the choice and if I wished to take it or not and ask others opinions, and such.

Then they came back to the others who were ? surprised ? at what the others said like the unicorn female elder saying she would be the one to give me the unicorn soul energy or whatever the proper term is. and the dragoness insisted on her giving some dragon ? as well since they had a specific plan in mind. No idea what the exact plan is, the 4th option, it's either not fully formulated yet, I'll discover it later, or I'll have to wait till this incarnation is over and after any needed recovery.

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I did the 3rd audio on the opening to channel and had an interesting experience. it was a guided meditation and I went to some place that looked like the walls were made of glass or a glass looking substance, one person (who was non human) there who was around my size or maybe a slightly shorter said it was crystal or a type of crystal. I think there were either stone supports in spots or just the design to look like stone supports since they were not really needed or not as much as here? there was a lot of nature visible outside and other similar building not to far off. The building, as much of it as I saw, is shaped sort of like a square with a hollow center where sunlight came through and some sort of maybe garden or part was inside with sunlight streaming down and positioned so it was visible from everywhere. No stairs or elevators were visible. When we went upward, the alien that was there when I went through the door said to just go up when he suggested we go up to the next floor. We seemed to go up through the ceiling/floor. I guess it's an area where things are only as solid as one wants them to be and gravity only effects you if you want. I do recall there were no doors. I looked around a bit after I came through the door and saw various non human races, some looked similar to the one who met me, but were perhaps taller. though I guess they could look however they wanted. I did see a unicorn walk by who said "hello brother" to me. 

The non human did say he/she was the first of many, or was it he/she was the first of several. I guess meaning either guides. he said he was to also help with the link. not sure if he'll be one of the first guides or if he'll be one of those to help with the link with my first guide. the other guides will be specialists or for specific purposes. I think he/she said. Have no idea about gender, or maybe it had no gender or was both.

I think its skin was a darker color, maybe blue, not sure since in my mind its very hard to see color.    the head was maybe a bit larger in  proportion to it's body then a human's is.  Maybe longer too, didn't get a good look at the side or back of its head.  The eyes were maybe the same size or slightly larger then a human's.  Diffidently not a grey.    It was at most around my height, maybe shorter, not sure of the exact height.  Didn't pay strict attention, and no idea what it's hands looked like. 

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I did meditation 10.  The first part, where Daben has the listener go over the first 4 light body energy centers and the mummin went about the same as usual.  The first one i felt a huge flow.  The 2nd and 3rd I felt a very faint weak flow, like usual.  the mummin and 4th one went like usual. the 4th I only felt when he was ending energy, nothing I did could send any there.

the mediation to the universe where the gas beings live went very badly.  I could see nothing, hear nothing, telepathically get nothing.  All I could do was feel energy being exchanged as they blended with me.  Couldn't feel of the love or joy she (orin) said was there, none of the music ect.  The only time I got sound was when I was to blend with a master from there, sounded like he was humming to himself mentally.  and it gave me a bit of a pressure headache.  overall a failure I'd say. and I still have a bit of a pressure headache, can't localize it, somewhere in my head.  Guess it shows my only really working sense is the feeling one.  That is something at least.

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Did the 10th meditation for a 2nd time. The first part, doing the first 4 of the light body energy centers went fantastically, the 2nd and 3rd i felt a lot of energy flowing, the mummin and ranthia were about like usual. not much energy in the ranthia apart form what Daben was sending.

The 2nd part was even worst then before. Still could not see, nor hear anything and no telepathic contact at all. Feeling was very feeble at best. I ended it early with 10 minutes left since it was a waste of my time. I guess it may be due to either I can't project for whatever reason, maybe I'm not sensitive enough to function in another dimension or universe. Maybe I have to wait till I'm master level before i can see, hear, telepathically contact, ect, in another universe or dimension.

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I was thinking and I seem to have lost all desire for meat and in fact feel a slight dislike of eating meat.  Not that it's immoral or evil, just like some part of me at some level doesn't want me eating meat.  it's ok. I'll not eat anymore.  Went to the grocery store though I didn't need to to see if there were some extra food I can find.  I found another type of cerial and 2 types of trail mix.  that seems healthier.  It'll add fat to my diet, but it'll be all poly and monounsaturated.  I'll see how i feel in a few weeks. I have been eating a nearly all fat free foods except for the almonds and the 1/4th of a lean meat patty, so only slight meat.

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Also forgot to put in, I reduced one of the meals. I use to eat 6 small meals and today I cut that down to 5 small meals. Tomorrow morning I think the first meal I eat will be reduced down further. This may cut white rice out of my food, except for the rice that is already in the cereal that I eat. Starting tomorrow I'll start eating 4 small meals a day to see how I feel.
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