Thursday [3-5]

THURSDAY MORNING:
Had a fun conversation with Maribelle.  Not sure why I keep thinking it's marigold.  I also should look up to see if it is Maribelle, or how to spell it.  I think she said with an I so Maribelle I guess is the spelling.  Also unicorn guide, guess he's a guide or a sorta guide since we're aspects of the same soul.  Forgot but either he told me or I got the impression or soul knowledge that his name is Duke or that is what he goes by.

It seems with her instead of wanting to share right away she'd rather wait.  he said it builds anticipation.  Plus my thoughts are she may want to get to know this me, though from what Duke and Maribelle said they can see the real me that is under these layers.  i guess they mean layers of being incarnate as a human, the conditioning, programming, though I'm loosing those and become more of my true self.  She may also want our relationship to normal develop.  Maybe she's taking into consideration how humans are, though I'm not a human at the soul and heart, I do have some human personality aspects, so to speak.  and that may be her natural way also.  My feelings are that I do like her a lot.  I do consider her a friend, a close friend, though we only recently met, at least from my point of view.  She may know me far better then this me knows her, with the veil and all, though some of my viel is not present.  Searching inside I can say I do love her, and see her as a very close friend, and that will likely deepen over time.    And she may want to wait till I'm fully awake, aware of myself before she takes it to the next step, or it may just happen naturally one day.  Time will tell.

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THURSDAY MORNING:

It does seem once I get relaxed to a certain level my body starts to resonate or vibrate.  I did a sort of relaxing mediation this morning, just to see if I could get very relaxed and it started to resonate or vibrate, and i wasn't trying to project.  i guess i can use that as a guide.  Once i feel like I'm resonating, or vibrating, it may be an indication that I'm very relaxed.  Hand to have that to be able to tell.

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THURSDAY MORNING:

I still think I'll look into getting a disposable cell phone.  Not sure if I'll get one, but I'll look into it.  if I do get one it would give me a contact number for when my phone goes out.  Handy for that.  I'll have to see how much it costs and such. Though my phone only goes out once every few years, so not to often.  It'll be very handy during that time.

Not sure if the phone guy is supposed to come today or Friday.  I'll stay home today, though I do dislike missing the Thursday rpg group.  Also with on net and no phone I've no way to know if it's been canceled or not.  I'd guess not. 

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Thursday AFTERNOON
Interesting how Maribelle & duke accept and see me as a unicorn stallion, though mixed breed, they don't care about that.  the pod accepts me as a pod member, and at least some see me as a dolphin, or orca, though orcas are really just big dolphins so accepting me as a dolphin or orca is sorta the same and the orcas usually look like dolphins when we're around the rest of the pod, and only do the orca form when we're just together.  I think I put in earlier that i did contact the dragoness and she is the twin of current soul.  And she sees me a soul, not as a dragon, or dolphin or anything else.  Was just curious.  I guess Maribelle and Duke are members of a herd, or if unicorns don't do that.  I've no idea. 

Though sometimes to be different when I'm with the rest of the pod, I may just look like a dolphin size orca instead of a dolphin.  I'll decide then.  That is when I'm not in an anthropomorphic form.

Also not sure what Maribelle meant by her talk of corruption, I can't be corrupt, ect.  I guess she means going more dark, lower vibration, ect.  hard to explain what I mean.  No biggie i guess. 

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THURSDAY AFTERNOON:
I think Maribelle or maybe it was Duke, don't remember.  Said the unicorns have a sort of herd.  I guess not in the same exact way that earth horses do.  They may have a group of friends, close friends, relatives, ect, but they don't live all bunched up together like earth horses would in the wild.  It may be similar to the pod where there is, from what either Dan or Stan told me, they have a huge commons area and each has their own homes. 

I did ask Dan or Stan, forgot which, briefly, why I didn't have a horn after the change over to current soul, or why I didn't know of it till recently, and he said it wasn't active, or was it not activated.  Forgot which exactly he said.

If there is a herd or sort of herd i can see why they didn't all pop up, after the pod has not.  I've seen some in the distance but the main ones I have spent consistent time with are mainly 4, not counting currect and former soul. 

With unicorns they may be not as close of a group as a herd, or I may encounter more later on maybe.  I'll find out over time.  As with many things.

It seems Duke may be my current guide.  Maybe due to where I am.  maybe due to the light body course I'm doing, Duke may be for heart, love, that sort of thing.  The other 2 may be done, Dan and Stan, or as I move to say the upper energy centers, the throat, 3rd eye & crown, maybe it'll shift to one of them, or I may get another.  I think it would make the most sense if one of the guides would come in for that at certain stages, and maybe the 3 light body centers.  if I do take all 6 courses.  It makes sense that for the path I'm on i may not have 1 or 2 set guides, but a group where the main guide or guides may be depending where I am on the path.  Since their interests and specialties, extra training maybe, may be for certain things and or areas. 

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THURSDAY EVENING:
Maribelle mentioning we'd have a lot of kid together may sound odd.  She did seem serious, while kidding at the same time.  But from a soul's point of view, say having 1 kid every thousand years, few thousand or 5 thousand.  That can be a lot over the eternity a soul lives.  Assuming unicorns are immortal like souls are. Even a kid every few hundred or 500 years, can add up to a lot over 5,000 years.  So I will assume she means over the long term, not a human span of say 100 years. 

and she and duke did say they can see the real, full me.  So Maribelle may love that real me.  Not that I think the real fully aware me is very different then this me typing this.  Especially with some of the work I've been doing at removing the human programming and conditioning, and stuff I picked up as a result of my life.    though I don't want to be working on it forever since as I think Matt said, you'll be working on yourself forever.  I'm just working on what I see as the big things, self worth, self confidence, self image (which I think are tied into each other or are different shades of the same thing), but also dealing with worry, turning it into faith in my having good luck and things WILL work out for the best.  Don't know 1 or a phrase for that.  maybe meekness for self determination.  Can't think of a term.  the self image/worth/confidence ties into that to an extent.  But i think tonight I'll do the sub personality, without the audio,and try both.  Worry to faith in my good luck and t things will always work out for my greater good in the end.   and meekness to self determination. 

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THURSDAY EVENING:
Just now Maribelle said unicorns are as immortal as souls are.  And she was serious about the kids part.  Though I'd guess it's not like have kids in this dimension.  But more like souls creating new souls where they are fully self aware from the start.  Not sure if unicorns have the choice that souls have if they wish to be new souls, keep some or all of their soul parent's memories, or 1 or 2 soul parent's memories.  I'd guess they may. or can choose their accumulated wisdom maybe instead of the exact memories. 

Though as immortals no need ot hurry that stuff.  With the rest of eternity, there is plenty of time.  I do try to see things from a soul's perspective.  Instead of just a human or temporal one.  Since though I may not be fully aware from a soul's point of view, I'm only here a short time.  this lifetime, compared to a soul's, even if I live long enough to be the world's oldest human male, will be like the length of an overnight dream to the lifespan of a soul. 

Though i still doubt I'll incarnate much, or not very often. Either not at all or maybe vary very rarely for specific reasons.  I don't see the appeal of incarnating, from the stand point of me doing it.  Some would say my perspective will change when I'm over there, but I doubt it.  I an at least half aware from a souls point of view and don't think I'll change my mind.  Same as when i was a young teen or teen and i said I would never marry or have kids and my grandmother and a friend of hers said I would change my mind once i got older. And I did say I won't.  turns out i was right then, and I'm willing to bet I'm right now also.

I'm sure I'll find being a soul more then enough to keep me occupied then incarnating willy nilly.  Though if others want to incarnate, that is their business and not mine.

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THURSDAY EVENING:
Duke and Maribelle briefly had their horns alongside mine, but not touching.  I did try, in a joking manner to move and 'accidentally touch horns' but they were not fooled, saying something like no, no.  Not in a mad manner, just a friendly manner. 

I did ask Maribelle why I couldn't usually feel my horn and she said i had gotten mostly use to it. after all can you feel your left hand? she asked.  i guess it could be that, but sometimes I can feel the horn if I do relax and try, or the area at the center of my forehead where it feels like some weight is attached to the skull inside, sorta feeling. 

I asked something like if there is anything I need to learn about being a unicorn or part unicorn.

She said first to become my true self, then she would teach me horn work, whatever that is.

I asked how long that would take.  She said less then a year, likely, if I continue along the path I'm on. 

She did do something she called horn cleansing, felt sorta odd.  not in an unpleasant way, and as I recall it did feel sorta pleasant? 

I did get it to resonate the slightest bit, but then that leaves me with a faint dull ache that come and goes, the ache is outside my body.  Maybe the horn is to sensitive.  that may be why when I get very relaxed, it doesn't resonate like the rest of my body does.

I wonder what horn work is. 

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THURSDAY EVENING:

I did meditation 12 again.  This time the master that worked with me in the meditation was a unicorn.  Though I Think I may have seen Stan or dan among the other masters maybe, maybe not, I'm not sure.  Among the others my age I did see some anthro dolphin looking beings that waved to me while smiling.  I waved back.  some of the unicorn anthro types , or were they half human half unicorn, Not sure, I couldn't see to clearly, or can't recall to well.  All the light being sent into me did feel great at the time.  Though I have a slight dull ache type feeling and slight chills.  Though the slight chills may be the cold weather.  The dull ache feels like it's in front of the center of my forehead, where the horn may be.  I do feel some pain in my abdominal area.  Towards the top. I guess it may be some blocks.  Not sure how to deal with the blocks.  At the point where you can ask for help did ask for help with things like the blocks.  the dull ache in my horn may be from during all the times we were supposed to receive light, a lot then asking you to open up so you can receive more.  it got to where it felt like my horn was pulsing with light as much as was going into it.  For my appearance I again looked solid back anthro orca type, with a horn, but I choose to have no dorsal fin and a short dragon type tail.  Then no tail, to see if i can change my appearance and it seems I can. 

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THURSDAY EVENING:

Twin flame said <nothing can come between us>.  I sent an intention of Maribelle to see what she'd say and twin said <ah, a very good friend of mine.> 

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THURSDAY EVENING:

I did some quick meditation to look inside myself, hopefully at the soul level and yes I do feel a desire, not a super strong one, but it is there, to have kids, create new souls, with Maribelle.  not today or next year, but someday.  no hurry.  not as strong as to create a daughter new soul with twin flame, but I'll not explore that feeling again since it'll just flair up again.  As i do want to make , or I guess remake, Chad in the same method, with Twin flame.  Which I can feel Chad is happy about, but again no hurry.  Not sure if the future daughter and Chad will be primary twins to the 2 of us like she is mine, or more of a secondary twin flames, but that doesn't matter. 

I feel it is normal for souls to create new soul with others.  Some may never do so, but others may more often. I do feel at the soul level i think it is, that this is normal. But unlike with how it works here, no one will be pregnant or lay an egg that a soul hatches from.  The soul will be fully formed and sentient from the start.  And they have the choice to remember all of their soul parent's memories, some of them, picking certain soul parents, or none of them.  Or even none, but with the option they can remember later if they wish. 

Not sure if it works this same way as with unicorns, but I figure I'll find out one day.  Either someone will tell me, maybe Maribelle, Duke, someone else, or on a forum somewhere. 

Funny typing this and knowing it'll be days and days from now before anyone else reads this.  But I also type this so not just so others can read of my experiences, maybe to learn from them, and also teach me things also as they may say something I never knew.  But it also helps me to form my conclusions at times and remember. 

I do recall Duke saying Unicorns usually use their horns to share.  Not in the conventional method of the pod and I imagine dragons, when it comes to sharing, and what some call soul or spirit sex, though I prefer the term sharing then calling it sex. 

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