Wedensday [9-2]

It was difficult to awaken from my nap.  I don't recall the dream at all. I even dozed off another 20 minutes after my nap. In this 20, or so minutes I was sleep I had someone, maybe me, tell me it was time to incorporate more of me into me.  I had a sphere before me that looked very dark, not black but it looked virtually black. I was told to grasp it in my hands and just let it absorb that part of me into me at it's own rate and don't try to hurry the process along. I did so and seems to me I awoke shortly after this.

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I did the 2nd guided meditation that is of the Radiane: self exciting, building the light body, audio course and running the energies was sometimes pleasant and sometimes ok sligtly pleasant   This meditation was mostly Daben talking and running the light body energy center energies.  He skipped the Pieah.  I am still not fully awake.  The main part of the meditation from the title is mental fluidity, experiencing now. Though not fully awake and I did have stray thoughts pop up, I did find it much easier to focus on not having any thoughts for periods of time, even easier then lately when I do think to do that and do that.  Maybe something in me is starting to shift.  Even now after the meditation is over it feels easier to do this.  overall a good meditation I'd say, though I wonder how It'll go later when I do it again and am awake.  not sure why I'm not fully awake now, but no biggie. 

I could feel the higher energy then I had been doing before when I ran the energies with Daben giving energy with his vocalization.

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Maribelle, Moondancer (Maribelle's mother who was called Belle) and I talked. Moondancer likes the new me better then the one she met, and she intends to keep with the idea of due to the change with me, she'll go with the name I picked out of the 2 names she gave me to choose between.

Maribelle is still a bit unsure but we both know there is love between us so she decided which I htink is a good idea of let's start as friends since we both know there is still love between us and see where it takes us over time, what it naturally grows and develops into, though both of us do feel we'll likely end up as lovers at least, maybe as mates again.  But not like we have to rush into it.  we have plenty of time to see where it takes us and what our love naturally grows into. 

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I did the 2nd meditation for Radiance: Self Exciting for the 2nd time today and it went about the same as before.  the energy was pleasurable to experience and feel.  Things were pretty fluid and I think I know what Daben means by the fluidity of the mental and emotional energy bodies.  and staying in the NOW is easier then before.  Focusing on the present instead of letting thoughts run around.  Easier then before.  So I do understand what Daben meant by that too.

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